The game I play in just dies... and it turns out it's my fault.

[AuroraGyps]

For the past 3 months I was in a Changeling/Werewolf and I thought it was going well. I hadn't played in almost 3 years because my ex-husband and I were getting a divorce and the group went with him. Those 3 years were a big mess: no car, no job, no friends, no family near me, and most of all, a bad social anxiety disorder and depression. So when I finally found a game I was pretty happy, but nervous. I thought things were going ok.
Well, the game was just scrapped by the GM for what she said was creative reasons, but I just found out on LJ that it had alot to do with me. Everything was exaggerated... my making what I thought was conversation and occationaly mentioning bad things that happened to me got me the nickname AngstGirl on the LJ. My asking for rides (taking a bus took 1+ hours to get to house 10 minutes from mine...and this winter was freezeing in Buffalo) turned into me thinking everyone was my chauffer ( I did ask for help getting a 5 shelf bookcase once, because I had no other way & once we stopped by my job for me to check the schedule when I'd hurt my back and couldn't walk to the place like I usually do). There's more.
Everything I did and said was blown out of proportion. No one ever told me about all this, though they say they tried to hint. Worst of all, a couple of people stuck up for me and it helped to ruin things between them and the GM (there were other things, no one's perfect, but this didn't help).
Meanwhile I'm very frustrated and upset. I was pretty rusty with dealing with people and really nervous. What happened with my old friends really did a number on me. I don't trust people anymore.... and I guess I'm right not to. I mean, am I supposed to talk only when gaming and only about gaming. I'm 31 years old and I don't know how to make friends. Ye Gods, but that's sad.
Yech, things are really a mess and I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I hope it's ok that I'm venting here. Any advice is welcome on finding a new group or how to be more that just a game group, because I haven't got a clue.

 

[ph34r]

As far as finding a new game have you tried the Gamers Seeking Gamers forum? I'm sure there are plenty of people in the Buffalo area for you to get a game going with.

 

[DiFier]

wow sounds like the DM and the complainers were a bunch of holes. I hope you can find some gamers closer to where you live.

 

[Maldur]

I have no idea what to advice you, but I really do wish you the very best.
If you do have a chance stop by at www.randomlingshouse.com, I know there are some people from NY-state hanging out there, they might know some gamers in Buffalo.

 

[BSF]

Yipes! OK, I don't really know you and I am only hearing your part of the story, but it sounds like you ended up in a less than optimal group for your style. There is nothing wrong with actually being social in a group. But, some people want to tightly focus on the immersive RP. For them, gaming people != friends.

The last person I added to my group was from EN World. He's a good guy, he's a good gamer, I couldn't be happier. So, I would suggest looking around here and keep an eye out for people that are in your area and seem affable in their posts.

 

[dreaded_beast]

After I left my old group, I started posting flyers in the FLGS and started poking my nose around the Internet for people around my area. In my opinion though, I think your best bet is the FLGS.

I wish you luck in finding another group to play in.

And it's never you, it's always the other person that has the problem; at least that's what I tell myself.

 

[jgbrowning]

And it's never you, it's always the other person that has the problem; at least that's what I tell myself.

Considering your Avatar, I see why.....

joe b.

 

[dreaded_beast]

Considering your Avatar, I see why.....

joe b.

Who's bad? Michael!

 

[SSquirrel]

Definiely feel your pain on that one. Anxiety disorders are pretty common in our group and I've been in some odd group dynamics before.



I'd also reccomend chekcing out www.meetup.com



Hagen

 

[Herpes Cineplex]

There is nothing wrong with actually being social in a group. But, some people want to tightly focus on the immersive RP. For them, gaming people != friends.

And for others, the people they game with MUST be their friends, and they're picky about who they're friends with. Throw in the additional complication of what some people consider appropriate boundaries for their friends, and it's almost like we're talking about real-life social interactions between actual people!

It's a shame that AuroraGyps didn't mesh with the people she was playing with. Hopefully she'll find some other people who she can feel comfortable with and vice versa. As far as assigning fault goes, I'll agree with BSF and say that I don't know enough to have an opinion about who was right or wrong in this situation, only that it was a sub-optimal group for her style.

(I will, however, suggest that it's never, ever a good idea to talk about bad things in your life with people you don't know very well; even if you think you're only doing it "occasionally," it does tend to push most people away. Exceptions can be made for stories you can tell in a funny way, the classic oh-but-I-can-laugh-about-it-now kind of thing, but just dumping a relentlessly sad tale of woe and dismay on people rarely leads to lasting friendships. Just something to think about.)

--
and bribing the driver with food or with money for gas is always a good idea
ryan