Transform this James Bond quote...

[d20Dwarf]

Watching Moonraker earlier, and when he first gets in the chopper with Ms. Dufour, she declares "I am just a humble pilot employed by Drax Industries."

Who talks like that?

People up to no good, that's who. Although it turns out that she's not a villain, I was thinking that was a hilarious line and it could be turned into some D&D humor.

So.....transform that line into a D&D villain's cheesy exposition.

 

[jaerdaph]

So.....transform that line into a D&D villain's cheesy exposition.

I'm just a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania?

 

[Sollir Furryfoot]

"I am just a humble priest in the service of ___"

Now, said deity doesn't have to be their actual patron, but if you're an evil priest pretending to be a good priest, you better memorize alot of healing spells so you can "spontaneously" convert prepared spells into healing spells.

 

[d20Dwarf]

I'm just a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania?

Yes, that's it!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ferret]

This sword, uh...I'm just a manicurist!

 

[Silveras]

Assassin: "I am just an exterminator clearing the world of vermin."

LE Blackguard tyrant: "I am just helping to bring order, for the sake of the people."

 

[Morpheus]

"We're not but humble pirates..." Pirates talk like that!

 

[The Goblin King]

I have used that line. "I am but a humble scholar at your service." He was also Twilight Exalted, master strategist, powerful sorcerer, and lost long prince of a large city state.

 

[beta-ray]

"We're not but humble pirates..." Pirates talk like that!

What about the "arrr"?

"Arrr! We be but humble pirates!"

 

[Dogbrain]

"I am but a humble warrior with a handed-down sword."

Of course, he doesn't mention that it's been handed-down from the Forge of Wayland Smith through seven generations of mighty warriors...