TURTLEDOME!: Battle Bone (DM: KenHood, Judge: Lord S.)

[KenHood]

[sblock=Jack Nicholson]Uh... Okay. But, trust me, the stuff Hadarai said to Marco was just as patronizing as anything Jack said in A Few Good Men.[/sblock]

[sblock=weldon]

It would help if there were some options on what to do should we leave.

They're the same options you had before you met Marco. You guys were going to research the Legion of Bone and prep for the fight.

And it's a bit unreasonable to expect him to give you a suggestion for some other patron. What Hadarai said was pretty horrible.[/sblock]

[sblock=mohalloran]Yeah. If Vaunea explains that (in Vaunea speak) then Marco will feel like a total heel for twisting off on her.

I honestly can't imagine Vaunea letting this go bad.[/sblock]

[sblock=The Cigar]

Only the cigar, bitter...

Yeah. I don't think so. That was once smoooooooth, full-bodied cigar. Don't disrespect the celestial cigar.[/sblock]

Hiiiiiii, guys! Did somebody say dinner? Sorry, I... I've been in my own head since I left Swillwort's mind. A bit-- a lot out of it. Crazy-crazy day, y'know?
Marco, I thought I heard someone say dinner. I know I've been acting strangely today, but is there a way I could help out? Maybe set the table? I owe you a lot for introducing us to your friends. It's been a bit crazy, and I'm sorry if we came on too strong.
Emral looks about for a cupboard or something to wipe the table with.

Marco is dumbfounded. "W-what? Did you just miss--?!"

He turns, eyes following Emral, as the Genasi walks into the kitchen. "Don't go in there! Stop that!"

The children in the doorway screech and run out of Emral's way. "His head is on fire! His head is on fire!"

"Get back in here, Emral!"

 

[Atanatotatos]

[sblock=ooc]

What Hadarai said was pretty horrible.

well, I'd say outside Daunton, it makes perfect sense. But yeah, I did want to make it rather unpleasant. [/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

Drivan manages to look ashamed for the actions of his companions. "Ahem. Excuse me...."

Drivan bows to the family and produces a small orange for all of the children with a flourish of colorful smoke.

Now, Marco is completely flustered. "Uh...w-wha...huh? Yes, uh, t-thank--"

[sblock=You know...]My wizard would have used Prestidigitation to animate one of the children's dolls. Then, use Ghost Sound to make the doll tell the children that their parents don't love them.

But whatever works for you.[/sblock]

Crouching down he hands one to each of the children, stopping at the smallest he reaches behind his ear and produces a gold coin which he hands to him with a smile.

"His head is on fire! His head is on-- Oh, is that mine?"

"I want a gold coin, too!"

"Yeah, me, too!"

"Look, what I'm trying to sa--"

[sblock=And the sad thing is...]That gold coin is going to vanish at the end of Drivan's next turn. [/sblock]

Bowing low again to Marco's wife, he produces a single red rose with a soft puff of colorful smoke.

"Oh, uhm, oh my!" she gives an embarassed titter.

"Hey, mister, if I give back my orange, will you give me a gold coin?"

A child wanders up to Emral and pulls on his leg. "Hey, mister, that guy in there gave me a gold coin. What present did you bring?"

As Hadarai walks down the stairs and Drivan exits to follow him, a pudgy halfling is walking up the steps. He has thick, curly, greasy blonde hair sticking up from his head, almost in a gigantic afro. On his face is a thick, nappy, unkempt beard, crusted with what is probably one or two day old food. He wears a tunic, with the words, "Philosopher Stoned," printed on the front. But the most extraordinary feature is that he wears a silver-metal prosthetic nose strapped to his face with a leather strap (and he is missing his left eyebrow). "Hey, who are you dudes? Is it time for dinner yet?"

 

[fireinthedust]

[sblock=kitchen?] Wait, were we in the shop the whole time, or was everyone in the kitchen?

special note: I said look about for a cupboard, not technically move into the kitchen and start mopping the table. (a-ha!) *cough* ok, moving on.

Emral was using Diplomacy for Marco's benefit, and I thought everyone had already gone *into* the kitchen (hey man, three days of solid par-tay and several pages of stuff to read). The whole point is that he's trying his best to fix things, rather than make them worse.

I should roll!1d20+9=11 F***! No, I shouldn't! All that effort and I roll a two?! oy. Um... man on fire? Ah, but he's smiling, kiddies, and doing a happy dance. how can that not win them over?![/sblock]

[/sblock]

 

[fireinthedust]

A child wanders up to Emral and pulls on his leg. "Hey, mister, that guy in there gave me a gold coin. What present did you bring?"

Um, uh, present... blast, my wizardly minor-magics don't work anymore... Well, um, I think Drivan here is the better magician for present. I just blow stuff up and make it go BOOOM, now. I'd show you, but I have to use my inside voice when I'm inside; and all my stuff is way too loud. If your parents don't mind, I could go out on the street and show you some spells, but I have to be careful.

To Marco's wife. Maybe I could show them some magic later? But for now is there any thing I can do to help out around the kitchen? Maybe stoke the fire in the oven?

 

[KenHood]

[sblock=kitchen?]See? Don't you see? This is why a mysterious cosmic force dropped a boot on your head with a note that said, "Read everything."[/sblock]

I just blow stuff up and make it go BOOOM, now...If your parents don't mind, I could go out on the street and show you some spells, but I have to be careful.

"Could you blow up my big brother? He's mean!"

"Olive! Get away from that...flaming...man! You could get....get....burned!"

To Marco's wife. Maybe I could show them some magic later? But for now is there any thing I can do to help out around the kitchen? Maybe stoke the fire in the oven?

"What? No! Get out of there!"

 

[mohalloran]

[sblock=KenHood]Yeah, Vaunea is too big a softie with her friends. She should work on that...just not at this moment. [/sblock]

Vaunea walks back into the room, her shield and axe at her side. Looking at Marco, she begins delivering her 'finest' speech.

[sblock=Throat clear]ahem...*cough*[/sblock]

"Vaunea sorry offend. Marco robbed. Vaunea want protect Marco. And Marco stuff. Vaunea hear store. Save Marco stuff. But Marco make Vaunea go now. Vaunea go now. Sleep outside. Vaunea protect Marco. No more steal.

Vaunea give thanks. Marco good. Protect Marco."

With that, Vaunea steps back out and seeing the halfling coming up the stairs, stops and waits for him. She figures there's only enough room for one minotaur on those stairs before they give way.

[sblock=OOC]I think this is a really interesting game. Can we just go from this to the second battle...assuming we put up a good enough fight. I love the stories...and the drama. It's like watching a daytime soap opera, except one of them is a half cow. [/sblock]

 

[KenHood]

[sblock=mohalloran]Yep. I wasn't expecting this at all. It's pretty cool how y'all are handling it. I'd be up for fight #2, as well.[/sblock]

As Vaunea takes a breath, Marco's wife, Talula enters the room. "That man with the flaming head won't--"

[Vaunea delivers her speech.]

Marco, horrified, gasps and covers his mouth. "I-I didn't know..."

He and his wife share a look. "She...she was just doing security work, like I said."

"Oh, oh no. Oh, Vaunea, I'm... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have... shouldn't have..."

Marco chases after Vaunea as she leaves the room.

---

In the stairwell, Vaunea meets the halfling with the metal nose. He squints and shuffles unsteadily upon his feet. "Whoa. Awesome. You're like a chick with a cow's head. Beef! It's what's for dinner! Heh-heh-heh. If you had a fish tail, you'd be like surf-n-turf."

 

[mohalloran]

[sblock=KenHood]Now, I have to be on the lookout for a mermaid costume that will fit Vaunea.

Just hope there a bunch of fun extra things for the second battle as well. Or we could just *make* there be fun extra things. We seem good at that.[/sblock]

With a bit of a staredown, Vaunea grunts, "Little man. You steal? Vaunea guard Marco stuff."

Just as Vaunea asks these questions, Marco reaches him at the staircase. She turns to Marco, "Friend Marco?" Vaunea attempts to look slightly menacing towards the halfling but friendly towards Marco when she asks Marco the question.

 

[KenHood]

The fat halfling with the metal nose blinks. "No, babe, I'm not Steel. I'm Mikey. You guys didn't eat without me?"

Marco catches up. "Vaunea, I wanted to apol--"

She turns to Marco, "Friend Marco?" Vaunea attempts to look slightly menacing towards the halfling but friendly towards Marco when she asks Marco the question.

Marco sighs (in relief) and smiles. "Yes, he's a friend. He's Uncle Mikey."