I'd answer this two ways:
1) There's no REQUIREMENT that the character ever feed off his allies. His low healing surge number means there are probably going to be SOME situations where that is a good option. OTOH remember, he does have regen 5 while bloodied, so most of the time the character can lay back in that kind of situation if he really has to and avoid ever sucking on his allies at all. Taking toughness (and durable might help as well) doesn't TOTALLY mitigate the problem, but it goes a long ways. I mean there are classes that have 6 surges and no way at all to gain more, and they're perfectly viable. A Vampire with 4 surges, surges that work better than normal in some instances, the ability to get more surges, and regen 5 while bloodied is actually probably better off than your average wizard even BEFORE you talk about sucking on your allies. It really isn't that dependent on this one feature.
2) It is meant to be controversial, yes. As I've said in a lot of other places, and probably up further in this thread, a vampire that fails to embody the concept of a vampire merely because it would be inconvenient or is tricky to play or balance with other classes is fail. It isn't a vampire, so why even bother to make it? There's no point in having a Smurphpire class. A vampire needs to be a VAMPIRE to justify its existence as a game element. In any case you can take the Dhampyr bloodline feat, the Vryloka race, etc. and be a milder form of vampire if you want, which is fine. The Vampire class is "I'm Dracula baby".
As to how much hand wringing has to go into bringing it into a game, that will kind of depend on the group. Personally I'd feel slighted if the players all showed up at the table for a new campaign and singled out my choice of character as being an issue (regardless of what that choice was). OTOH there are dick players that will make a vampire simply to be troublesome as well. Reasonable players will accommodate each other's wishes. It shouldn't be a big deal most of the time, and if the DM has restrictions on what he wants to see played in his game, well those really should be up front.
Here is the problem. Wizard's is the one that singled out your character, not the group. They implemented a mechanic that essentially feeds off of the other characters and requires their cooperation.
So now it is your responsibility to let the other player's know and they can decide if they want to play with you or not, or if they will allow you to drain a surge.
The main point is, don't bring a vampire to a game and automatically expect that you will be able to play it. If the vamp didn't have that mechanic then there would be no problem.