What do I do about this player?

[Dunjin]

My group is made up of players who've played very little D&D. We've gone four sessions now, and everyone seems to have tons of fun except one player. I spoke to her yesterday about it, and she explained to me that she has a short attention span and tends to zone out when she's not directly involved. During the last session, for instance, she was into the final combat and a scene involving her and another PC being attacked by a pair of homebrew magical mountain cats (her favored enemy is magical beasts), but she zoned during the buying stuff segment and the scenes in which the party was fishing for information and having a palaver with the half-silver-dragon leader of the local band of kobolds.

I've explained to her that she doesn't necessarily have to just stand and shoot in combat, that she doesn't have to stand around while everyone talks to the same guy, etc., just giving her an idea that she has more freedom of action and to explore the things her character is interested in. She explained that she's having trouble envisioning scenes, and so everything comes down to a roll of the dice for her. I asked her to think about her character and decide who her character is and what she's interested in doing, and to let me know so that I can weave some of her personal plotlines into the world.

Of course, D&D doesn't mesh with everyone, and I have no problem with her if she doesn't enjoy playing. The problem is that her boyfriend is very much into it, and I don't know if he'll keep coming if she doesn't, and I certainly don't want her to play just because her boyfriend is into it. I'd like to either find a way to get her more involved and excited or a way to explain to her that I don't want her to feel like she has to play without it sounding like I don't want her to play.

Has anyone else had a similar situation with a player? How did you resolve it? I obviously can't eliminate all the "boring" parts of D&D, because everyone else in the group really enjoys them. I don't want to run modules or set up encounter chains at the expense of role-playing for the rest of the group.

One of the other players told me that he's enjoying the game 99.6%, and that the 0.4% missing is because he looks over and sees that this girl's not digging it. I really want to find a way to bring her in. How do I do it?

 

[kenc]

Re what to do

Once had a situation simaler to this. What I did is made the player "DM assistant" He played all the monsters and NPC's the party met. As well as assisting with random encounters by selecting and writing up the monsters. Funny thing is he turned out to be a great DM. Don't know if this would help you or not.

 

[silentspace]

Not everyone likes D&D, but everyone likes role-playing! Everyone does it as a kid. You can even think of watching tv and reading as forms of passive role-playing. (OK, maybe that's a stretch, but you get the idea)

Sounds to me like she's not into her character. Maybe there's something else she'd like to be. Another class, another race, another background. Maybe she's just thinks differently then you and everyone else (she could be very analytical, or philosophical, or whatever while the rest of you are not). She could have a very different outlook (or alignment, even) then her character has.

What it all boils down to is you. You're either not reaching her (and may not be able to reach her), don't understand her, or aren't allowing her to be what she wants to be. It's not a personal failure - not everyone clicks with everyone else.

I wouldn't question her too much about it though. Just try to involve her as much as you can, see what she likes and doesn't like, and adjust accordingly.

It's also possible she's just too preoccupied with other things at this point in her life, and feels this is a waste of time. That happened to me. After being one of the most active players, negotiators, problem solvers and puzzle-answerers in my group, I started zoning out. Other parts of my life were just so busy, and I felt like D&D was a total waste of time. I hung in there because I liked the group, but after a few months I just dropped out. I don't think there was anything anyone could have done to stop me.

Don't know if that was any help, but there it is.

 

[alsih2o]

turn the other players on her. nicely.

have them address her, ask her preferences, take point occasionally.

take away her ability to be passive aside form combat a bit at a time and see if she doesn't catch on.

 

[MarauderX]

If she has trouble picturing or imagining it, try to get more into character, and keep the role-playing simple, fast, and entertaining. Draw out the simplest things so that instead of just saying 'you are at the tanner's house', have a room drawn out where the characters can explore if they wish. Maybe make the conversations a little more interactive by interrupting the player OOC debates with NPC questions that they all have to answer, and so they don't drag things out. Find out what may be easiest/best for you both, if you want to change, and how it affects your game.

I wonder what her favorite movies are and how you can change your pace/DM 'style' to help her out without messing with the other players' noticiably.

 

[Zogg]

Add an NPC into the party that insults her every 5 minutes for being a spaced out lazy bum. That should light a fire under her ass.

 

[Desdichado]

Not everyone likes D&D, but everyone likes role-playing! Everyone does it as a kid

Oddly enough not everyone likes the same things they did when they were kids. I think it's clear that she's simply not interested in playing. Sounds like you need to talk to her about it, and maybe her boyfriend too, and figure out what you're really going to do longterm.

 

[DaveMage]

I suggest you speak to her boyfriend. Have him ask her if she's enjoying it or not, and if she wants to continue. She may feel a bit intimidated if most of your group is experienced with the game. (And because of peer pressure is afraid to say or do "the wrong thing" so she stays quiet.)

Also, if she's willing, you can have her "attend" the game without playing. That way she feels invited, but doesn't have to participate. If she seems interested in learning more about the game, have her simply watch the game or read the Player's Handbook while the rest of you are playing. Make it clear that she can rejoin at anytime (or not) if she chooses.

Also, if you own it, have her read the Hero Builder's Guidebook to see if something in there appeals to (or inspires) her.

 

[silentspace]

Oddly enough not everyone likes the same things they did when they were kids.

I have a lot of friends who are professional trainers. They train professionals when they need to learn about new laws, policies, procedures, etc. Trainers prefer seminar type learning environments to classroom type environments. In the seminar environment, role-playing exercises are widely used. I am told they are among the most effective training and teaching methods there are, period. Adults are often initially reluctant to participate, but once they do, they always rave about them, and tell the trainers about how much fun and effective they were.

 

[Desdichado]

I have a lot of friends who are professional trainers. They train professionals when they need to learn about new laws, policies, procedures, etc. Trainers prefer seminar type learning environments to classroom type environments. In the seminar environment, role-playing exercises are widely used. I am told they are among the most effective training and teaching methods there are, period. Adults are often initially reluctant to participate, but once they do, they always rave about them, and tell the trainers about how much fun and effective they were.

Not trying to be snarky or anything, but what's your point? Attention wanders when you're bored. Clearly she's not really enjoying this. I don't think putting her in a training seminar is going to help her enjoy roleplaying more. I'm not aware of an "Roleplaying Appreciation" seminars anyway.