You can get anything you want, at Cinema Ba-arsoom...
nakia: I share your pain. Cine Barsoom will employ grown-ups as ushers who will actively seek out and beat down people talking in the theatre. Possibly with swords. They will stand quietly and attentively at the back of the theatre (which won't be mega-huge so's they can observe the whole place easily), making no noise or motion unless someone starts yammering, at which point they will leap into graceful action, beginning a polite admonishment and swiftly escalating to silent, ruthless violence, disposing of the bodies so efficiently you won't even know you're dead.
Warning signs will be posted, and we'll get local film students to come up with new and entertaining "Please Shut Up" clips every week so you don't get tired of seeing the same thing over and over again.
We'll also screen shorts before each film, to give everybody a chance to settle into their seats, sort themselves out and relax before the main feature plays. These will include classic Warner Brothers and Disney cartoons, Pixar bits, and whatever odds and ends catches the fancy of our Screening Board (which is open to the public so's anybody can get involved).
We will show no more than four trailers before each film and NO advertisements of any other kind, except for the silent ads for local businesses and charities that rotate before the lights go down.
Patrons will be encouraged to sit and watch the credits, and there will be a "Post-Screening Lounge" where you can go after the show to talk about it over a beer or three with the used-to-be-total-strangers who were watching it with you.
Cine Barsoom is a
community. It's a place you can go to enjoy great films with the people who live near you -- you can just ignore them and enjoy the movie, of course, but you can also get to know other film buffs and share your love with them. And of course, since we allow the public to select films, if you get into a conversation with somebody and discover that they've never even
seen something as crucial as
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, well, you can just dial that baby up and arrange to see it with them next week. If you and bunch of others get all excited about, say, Harryhausen films, you could schedule a whole run of them over a weekend and yahoo! you've got a party.
I love Cine Barsoom.