When the Universe tries to tell you something, you should listen.

[Vraille Darkfang]

I screwed up today.

Screwed up good.

Fate tried to tell me "Hey, every possible moron is out today, I'd stay home if I were you."

I forgot my coffee.

My wife made me a nice, big cup of coffee, which I left on the counter as I went to work this morning. When I'm about 2 miles down the road, she calls me & tell me I forgot my coffee & that if I head back now, she'll bring it out to me

That was fate telling me "Go back home. Go back to bed. You have Sick Days, use them. If not, you will be so PO'd by the end of the day you'll be seeing Mauve".

But, ignoring fate. I get my coffee & go on my way.

Early morning. Not all that Light out yet. Drive in along the highway. Get to the Bridge over the river. Solid wall of fog. Ravenloft level of Fog. Less than 3 car lengths of Visibility. Yet, 25% of the cars don't have their headlights on.

WHY? This is an Attempt at Murder-Suicide here. Not exactly a good one, but an attempt. This is an ungodly busy truck route. There have been several fatal accidents of Big Rigs plowing into the back of Cars over the years. By fatal, I mean "Don't bother with the Ambulance, but grab a squeege". Yet these cars are going 55-60 MPH (Speed limit 70, most trucks going 70) without a single source of illumination. I nearly rear-ended a car or two (but I expected Idiots, so I was prepared).

However the Grand Darwin Nominee? The Moron. The IDIOT. The I WANNA DIE TODAY! The winner? The guy in the Dull Gray Taurus going 45. That shade of Gray know as Sun-Bleached Interstate Asphault. The guy was invisible, going nearly 50% the speed of the other traffic.

Hey, guy! I know the d20 rules for Miss Chance & Invisibility, but if the Dragon Body Flops his Massive 20 Ton body over the entire Square you occupy, plus every other square in a 40' radius, I really don't think the DM needs to worry about a Miss Chance.

Your Flat. As is your car. The Big Rig? I'm guessing a dent in the bumper.


Alas, even seeing the mass number of loonies in the fog, I continued my temptation of Fate.

Pause.

(Screaming of every profanity I can think of, in any language I can think in).

Unpause.

To the *Bleep*. The utter Idiotic, Inconsiderate, Sack of *Bleep*....

Too harsh you think. What, How possible words can you use to describe (words allowable on ENWorld) to describe an indivdual who thinkg thus:

"Hmmm, I have all these small, Sharp, Heavy Objects in my car, however can I get rid of them. I know, I'll throw them out the window at highways speeds in heavy traffic. That sound like a Nice, Smart thing to do".

Du to the lack of working brain cells possessed by this *Bleep* (sorry still haven't thought of an allowable word) paint is chipped & there is small cracks in my windshield. Not a large crack, smaller than a Dime. But cracks. Directly where my line of vision rests while driving.

Did you know that you can't repair a Crack in the field of Vision (at least in Missouri). You have to replace the entire Windshield. $250 Bucks to fix it (plus maybe 100 for the paint) Good thing I have full coverage for our Car.

"Call Insurance Agent," "Ohh, I'm sorry you have a $500 Dollar deductable, if its over $500, call back. Have a nice day!" (Did the math. without the $500 Deductable we'd have paid about 1500 dollars extra to date).

So fine. So long GPS Naviagtion system my wife was getting me for our Anniversary.

May the moron who threw those rocks, nails, whatever have disentary until I get me Windshield replaced. Maybe if he runs out of *Bleep* he won't be such a big sack of, well you know.

I'm not happy. But, the day is done. I'm going home. Royally PO'd. But home.

I'll be home soon. Sit down. Rest. Relax.

Once the Drunk guy gets out of my way.

There is this massive Truck in front of me. Extended Cab, Dual Back Wheels, pulling this extrs long Horse Trailer. Loaded down. And its weaving back & forth. Speeds varying from 45-85 MPH. Just scary. I pick my moment. It slows to 50 going downhill & weaves over onto the emergency lane. My little Toyota can really move when it needs to.

I pass & look up to see if I can get back over.







The driver is


Calm

Calm

Calm

Yapping away on a Cell phone. One hand to the ear. One hand pointing for emphasis.

As she appeared not to be a Thri-Kreen, I did the Math.

1 Steering Wheel

-2 Hands

+1 Distracted Driver

+Truck's less responsive Handling Characteristics

+Fully Loaded Trailer

Equals....

Someone who needs to have have their cell phone shoved so far they'll be constipated for a week.

This conversation was going on for at least 5 minutes (the time it took fro me to get to an area where I could pass safely).

You know.

Study after Study.

Data after data.

Expert after Expert.

What do they all agree on 100%?

Talking on your Cell phone is one of the most Dangerous things you can do (For both yourself & every other being on the road, or even near it).

Plus, you are driving a Huge Truck with a Massive load, your handling and Reaction times are already decreased. Plus you are traveling at Highway Speeds. Oh yeah:

IT IS STILL A PHONE. GESTURING DOESN'T DO A DARN BIT OF GOOD ANYWAY. THEY CAN'T SEE YOU! COULD YOU PLEASE KEEP AT LEAST ONE BLEEPING HAND ON THE WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a hint:

Anytime you are undertaking a course of action where you become seriously hurt/killed & a massive positive is that ONLY the person responsible for said action was hurt/killed...

You probablly should never do that again. Unless you're dead, in which case You WON'T do that again.

Unless you're dead. And that's one of the positives in the tragedy.

I repeat, when grasping for any hint on somethig positive as a course of your actions, you're death could be it.

Dwell on that the next time you flip the phone open to talk.



I feel a little better now.

(Mods, I tried to keep this as PG-13 as I'm currently able, feel free to edit anything).

I'm still a bit worked up right now. (But safe, I now it could have been worse).

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Given the description of the day you had, I'd call that a reasonably calm post.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Think of the XP you'll get for overcoming the challenges of the day. And the fact that you did it all without your coffee should give you an additional bonus.

With a little luck the great DM of life will award your points soon and you can level up... unless of course your DM only gives XP for killing things and you passed up some good plot hooks today...

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

I'm feeling better.

And I just realized the Apparent Irony/hypocrisy typed in my post.

I began by telling how I picked up the phone from my wife while driving into work...

And ended with a Rant about people on their cell phones while driving.

I should explain what I mean when I say "Answering the phone while driving".

What I mean is "When the phone rings, I look for someplace to turn off, see who called, then call them back".

In this case, I was right by the Gas Station & was able to pull in and answer before the Voice Mail kicked in.

In perhaps a show of my OCD/Paranoia/Anxiety that is literally how I do it.

I refuse to answer the phone while driving.

Yet my inner Lawful Pessimistic Soul keeps counting all the worst possible emergencies that someone could possibly be trying to get ahold of me as soon as possible. Thus my paranois kicks in & I have yet to be able to go more than 3 exits on a Freeway before checking to see who called.


My wife tried to make it up to me my taking me in to the city for a nice dinner.

Boy did that backfire. At one point, we passed 10 cars in a row with people talking on their cell phones. Everywhere I looked it jumped out at me. I'm amazed at how many people can't go 5 minutes without their cell phone.

As I said, it could have been worse. Much worse.

And to be honest, where me & my wife our at right now 250 bucks isn't that much. For a lot of our gamer friends, 250 would be a serious blow. We're doing OK. It won't even impact my gaming spending.

It'll move a few Kitchen Gadgets purchases a month or so back.

I let little stuff get to me way too much.

I'd rather take it out on an anonymous web site than on my wife.

Ironically, like many people I'm a lot more careful around strangers than family.

Thanks for listening.

A few more rant points

1. Put up the Cell Phone.

2. It's called a TURN SIGNAL.

3. Why do you merge onto the Freeway at 35 MPH & then Hit the Hammer down until you are doing 95?

4. An SUV is not a tank. Do not drive it as one. If you won't take your SUV down Gravel Roads, why did you buy one?

5. This one is why I'm feeling so much better. If you are going to ride a Motorcycle & you are going to wear baggy pants... They will ride down. So you probablly shouldn't wear White Boxers Shorts with the little red hearts that have faded to pink. No matter how hard you try, you can't look tough on a Harley with your pants around your knees & Pink hearts all over your cheeks.

 

[Thunderfoot]

Dear VD (sorry about your intitials BTW),
Hopefully what I will say here will make you feel a little better, please take it in the spirit of humor that it is meant.

1. Thank the heavens that you don't live in Maryland, most of the 'gripes' you have are multipled by exponetial numbers. I have coined the phrase - 'optional turn signal package' for Maryland drivers, do the math, I think you'll get it.
2. I live in yuppie town central, everyone owns an SUV, they almost always have four-wheel drive, none of these slack jawed powder-heads could drive off road if their lives depended on it.
3. I'm originally from Southern Illinois, I notice you are from Missouri, what would you know about driving anyway.

Cheer up, we all deal with it and it is frustrating everywhere. Hope this little ray of sunshine brightened up your otherwise foggy morning and rest of your day for that matter.

 

[megamania]

Based on the thread title I guess I outta go shot or hanf myself then........


at this point I am here more out of spite than anything else. Will it get better.....I would like to think so but it hasn't in the last 5 years.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

So I'm guessing you had a bad day VD?

*ducks at incoming object and then runs away*

Olaf the Stout

 

[Mycanid]

Well VD ... just be glad you weren't a iNet customer of DirecWay. The day would be even worse. :\

 

[EricNoah]

An entertaining read. I hope that's an appropriate reaction!

 

[Mycanid]

Btw Vraille - very funny about the pink hearts on the bike!