Why do women send mixed signals?

[Hijinks]

Show me where I said she has to give up all her friends. I NEVER said that. Stop putting words in my mouth and speaking for me. I said I don't like large social gatherings, I don't want to be dragged to a large party with people I'm not interested in all the time. Small soical things are fine.

THIS is where I got that impression:

I will not lie and say I like something/ someone when I don't. I won't pretend to be socailable at a party when all I really want to do is go home and not have to put up with peoples stupid. petty talk. One of my old GF's loved large get togethers. I hated them. I would just sit in a corner and watch. My GF would get mad at me for not getting to know people. I would say "why? I don't want anything to do with these people, this is a waste of time. You know I don't like these kind of things." this was before I was diaganosed with AS. I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, for anyone.

Back on page 2.

If that's not what you meant, maybe you should say what you mean? Because nowhere in the above quote does it say "small social gatherings are fine." Here you're saying you don't want to get to know people; how were we supposed to deduce that you're willing to get to know people in "small social gatherings" ?

Before you jump all over me, KenM, perhaps go back and read the things you've written. Could we have possibly misunderstood them? Maybe? Hmm?

All you are doing is attacking others, most of whom have not attacked you as you keep saying we are. I did not intend to attack you; I've been trying to get folks to not get so mad at you. But since you obviously don't need/want that help, good luck to you.

 

[Teflon Billy]

B: Excuse me for not raping someone and geting arrested. So if you were in my situation, you would have raped her and gone to jail? What a nice guy you are.

Man...I've been away for awhile now, and when I left, Ken was missing the point in "sad and pathetic" ways.

In my absence he has clearly gradutated to missing points in an "unnerving and creepy" way.

Ken, the fact that you read that into Spider's comment is truly, truly sick man. You've mentioned getting therapy soon. That's good.

Mention that your "Fear of Reprisal" is what keeps you away from rape. The Therapist needs to hear that sooner rather than later.

Spider. Go register at Nutkinland, you are a hero there currently

 

[KenM]

I read Spiders comment as it was OK to rape someone. because I metioned fear of punishment INSTEAD of saying: "I did not want to betray what we had", equally important, not to mention that raping someone is just plain wrong, you think I'm screwed up.

 

[Teflon Billy]

I read Spiders comment as it was OK to rape someone.

Yeah, I got that.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

A: If you pay for a nice $200.00 dinner, or pay $200.00/ hour for an escort, its still paying for sex, we all do it, this way is more direct.

Your ways is disrespectful, lazy, and instant gratification oriented. You'd rather blow $200 on an escort to definately get sex, or $200 on dinner and get hours of hot luvin'. Don't try coming across with the "all women are whores" line, it's a lot older than you, and when you get right down to it, so are guys.

What your way shows, and what your attitude shows, is that if she doesn't drop them panties when you walk in the room, she obviously doesn't appreciate you, so hell with her. Rather than work on it, work for it, and earn it, you'd rather buy it.

B: Excuse me for not raping someone and geting arrested. So if you were in my situation, you would have raped her and gone to jail? What a nice guy you are.

HOw about because it's stealing? You've stolen something that belongs to her.

C: Late in this thread, i said I would get help.

Sarcastically and from up on the cross. Get down, someone else needs the wood.

D: This goes with C

And take off the crown, those thorns are an endangered species.

E: As oppossed to not doing anything to try to meet people, I feel that someone like me is doing something.

An online ad? Puh-lease. I could write an online ad where I'm a mixture of Adonis and a hunchback. Want risky? Go to a nightclub.

Someone like you? That's not trying, is it? If you can argue, bicker, rationalize and dither here on ENWorld, that has an average 1000 visitors at any given moment, you can go to a library or club.

F: Working on it.

OK, good.

G: I blame God for everything, the good as well as the bad.

Try putting the blame where some of it belongs. You. I sincerly doubt that God is walking along behind you, dressed in a Nazi outfit and speaking in a B-Movie accent, ordering you to do things.

Quit blaming other forces, and accept responsibility for your actions.

H: So I will allow it to happen again and be screwed over again? I have too much respect for myself for that. I won't let people use me as a doormat.

There's a difference between a doormat and a jackass. You come across as a jackass. A judgemental one at that who has decided that they must get even for every little thing and is incapable of forgiveness. My retarded nephew can forgive people. And he's full blown, completely, wear a brain bucket retarded. He can't add 2+2 and get a number half of the time, but he can forgive you when you step on his foot or can't take him to the park.

You know, later, when I have time, if I have the inclination, I can let you know a few easy steps for joining a society that is completely alien to you, one that you cannot understand and have no common ground with.

Or I can just say the hell with it, you'll blow off any advice given, and play with my kids outside.

 

[KenM]

Your ways is disrespectful, lazy, and instant gratification oriented. You'd rather blow $200 on an escort to definately get sex, or $200 on dinner and get hours of hot luvin'. Don't try coming across with the "all women are whores" line, it's a lot older than you, and when you get right down to it, so are guys.

What your way shows, and what your attitude shows, is that if she doesn't drop them panties when you walk in the room, she obviously doesn't appreciate you, so hell with her. Rather than work on it, work for it, and earn it, you'd rather buy it.

IMO it is not disrespectful when it is two adults coming to a mutally satisfing agreement. And excuse me if I'm more then a little sexually frustrated after years of "Ken, you are a nice guy, but I just want to be FRIENDS." So we stay friends, maybe something will devolop, we go out a few more times, She meets a bad boy and then moves in with him a week later. I never hear from her again. Excuse me for beung a little frustrated in this area when all my other friends have someone.

 

[Teflon Billy]

IMO it is not disrespectful when it is two adults coming to a mutally satisfing agreement. And excuse me if I'm more then a little sexually frustrated after years of "Ken, you are a nice guy, but I just want to be FRIENDS." So we stay friends, maybe something will devolop, we go out a few more times, She meets a bad boy and then moves in with him a week later. I never hear from her again. Excuse me for beung a little frustrated in this area when all my other friends have someone.

I love being that bad-boy

 

[Obryn]

IMO it is not disrespectful when it is two adults coming to a mutally satisfing agreement. And excuse me if I'm more then a little sexually frustrated after years of "Ken, you are a nice guy, but I just want to be FRIENDS." So we stay friends, maybe something will devolop, we go out a few more times, She meets a bad boy and then moves in with him a week later. I never hear from her again. Excuse me for beung a little frustrated in this area when all my other friends have someone.

Hey, I got no problem with the escort service thing. More power to you. Never used one myself, but it's all good if it floats your boat.

I do have a problem when you insinuate that buying dinner for a girlfriend or date is the same as paying for an escort service. That's just plain creepy; that's not the way the "transaction" works. It's the kind of thing comedians say to be funny, or guys say to be ironic. It's not the kind of thing you should take seriously, Ken.

The reason you get the "let's be friends" treatment is that you put yourself there. You put yourself there by either not living up to another person's expectations (yes, they have them too), or making it clear that a relationship with you would be frustrating (it's tough to feel comfortable when the other person hates spending time with your friends and has unrealistic expectations).

-O

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

IMO it is not disrespectful when it is two adults coming to a mutally satisfing agreement.

It is when you try playing the "All women are whores" card, and play it badly at that.

You are equating a woman who stayed a virgin till she was married, was romanced by her husband, and enjoyed a long engagement with a $200/hr hooker.

THAT'S disrepectful.

And excuse me if I'm more then a little sexually frustrated after years of "Ken, you are a nice guy, but I just want to be FRIENDS."

What, are there only 3 or four women where you live?

So we stay friends, maybe something will devolop, we go out a few more times, She meets a bad boy and then moves in with him a week later. I never hear from her again. Excuse me for beung a little frustrated in this area when all my other friends have someone.

Maybe the fault is with you, not with the women. You know, both TB and I have given advice on how to deal with that over and over and over. First lesson: NOT EVERY WOMAN IS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU.

Following that is: Please bathe. Please listen to other people. Please be considerate.

Those are the baby steps.

Oh, and I'm the guy that nailed her in the bathroom in the club, then never called her again.

 

[I'm A Banana]

you pay for a nice $200.00 dinner, or pay $200.00/ hour for an escort, its still paying for sex, we all do it, this way is more direct.

Acutally, were I to pay $200 for a dinner (and WOW, would I be phat rollin' were THAT to happen!), I'd be doing it mostly to have a conversation and maybe impress her by showing what is possible with me. Sex is nice, but it's not all there is in a relationship. I do think you know that.

I blame God for everything, the good as well as the bad.

Fair enough, but God Helps Those Who Help Themselves, right? I mean, unless going to the doctor is a sin because it's thwarting God's Plan to have you sick. You can blame God all you want, but that doesn't relieve you of the responsibility of handling the situation as it exists right now in front of you.

You mentioned that you were in the process of helping yourself, and that deserves a pat on the back, if you're really and truly committed to it. That means you've probably recieved something useful out of this thread, and all that's left in this thread are the jerks to get in their bites. It's the internet, that's the way these things sometimes roll.

If you're well and truly comitted to it, I'd suggest stepping away from EN world, getting the yellow pages, and doin' it. Now. Or tomorrow. ASAP.

So I will allow it to happen again and be screwed over again? I have too much respect for myself for that. I won't let people use me as a doormat.

You will be screwed over again regardless. A doormat is someone who is constantly, repeatedly, over-and-over again used. You don't sound like the kind of person who would let yourself do that, but you've come out at the other extreme. As the Buddha says, balance in all things, seek the middle path, and put a balance between not being uptight (e.g.: being used a little bit) and not being used (e.g.: being uptight a little bit).