Why the beer hate? (Forked Thread: What are the no-goes...)

[Fifth Element]

That is the definition of generalisation/stereotyping, though. That's exactly what the word means.

But it's not the definition of judgment, which you mentioned alongside generalization. A judgment implies something about the specific person in question, a generalization implies that the specific person is irrelevant.

 

[Imperialus]

I wouldn't be foolish enough to go to such a BBQ without asking. If you said there was going to be drinking, I'd suggest you run a one-shot or a fun-game rather than an on-going campaign session. If you said you'd make sure nobody over-indulged, and that you were prepared to deal with anybody making trouble, I would be willing to show up after the BBQ for the game session.

If you couldn't, then I'd say, well, I won't be coming. If you had a real problem with that, then I'd say, well, I'll be leaving then, because I see no reason to have an argument with you over it. More than likely, it'll be because you feel insulted by my decision, but me, I consider it living by the principles I have chosen, and respecting instead of compromising* myself.

*And note, I don't mean I'm against compromise, as in the sense of finding a mutually acceptable state of affairs(I do believe I gave some above), I mean that more in the sense of a jeopardy.

If that were the case I'd be cool with not having beer with dinner. I'd ask again if you were allergic to beer and would therefor like a steak without marinade. I'd also probably assume (unless you said it was for religious reasons or some-such) that you were a recovering alcoholic who was afraid of falling off the wagon, and too ashamed to admit it.

 

[Bumbles]

You can't disclaim behaviour with the prefix "it isn't personal". For example, if I were to call you a deeply offensive name (not that I would), and then qualify it by saying "that's because you're perceiving it as a personal matter, when it's not one to me", how would you feel?

If I said "No name callings" would you call it a personal judgment?

I wouldn't. If you do, then I'll have to go back to we're in two different worlds, and obviously they're not compatible.

 

[Caliber]

In the US it would vary by state. After Prohibition, each state took it upon themselves to do weird stuff. Where I now live in California, I can buy liquor at the corner drug store along with Mac and Cheese, pet food, and over the counter drugs, prescription drugs, and get my photo's developed.

Where I grew up in Texas, it varied by city. So, in Farmer's Branch (where I grew-up), no one sold alcohol. Chain restaurants known for their beer selection couldn't serve it. Now, a customer could bring their own, but it required a special card to do so. Imagine that, BYOB to eat out at a restaurants.

Of course, Farmer's Branch is a small city and all one had to do was go to one where booze is legal to buy it. But those cities pretty much only sold liquor at liquor stores, not grocery stores or pharmacies like we have in California.

Where I live we have drive-thru liquor stores. You can get daqurais (alchoholic slushies), shots, probably beers. Fun fun.

 

[Fifth Element]

I'd also probably assume (unless you said it was for religious reasons or some-such) that you were a recovering alcoholic who was afraid of falling off the wagon, and too ashamed to admit it.

This is related to what I posted above. Why would you assume that someone who doesn't drink for other than religious reasons must be a recovering alcoholic? I don't drink at all, the only alcohol I recall ingesting in my life was a sip of wine at a wedding when I was 19 or so. I have made a choice not to drink. Oh yes, we're out there.

 

[The Ghost]

I've already said my position on smoking. I'd also include chewing tobacco with that. I'm not sure what you mean by Narcotics, since you also used the word Prescription Meds in your list. So I'll assume you mean illegal drugs. In which case, again, not allowed. Prescription and OTC meds are allowed, however, I would prefer anybody who is sick to say so and stay out of the game. We'll run something without you. If you medication affects you, then I hope you don't have a problem accepting that, because if you do, when we have a problem. Fortunately, most people are less likely to be intransigent about those kinds of influences. I haven't yet had somebody who couldn't admit their allergy med or cough syrup made them fall asleep. People who share prescription meds do get in trouble though. To those, I will direct them to a copy of the law and ask them if they want me to lose my job.

Fair enough. I did mean all drugs but felt it important enough to specify prescription and OTC meds. I also take it to mean that high sugar content foods and drinks are acceptable? How do you handle people who get really jacked-up from pop and energy drinks. I was played a campaign with a good friend and his two nephews. The kids were perfect at the begining of each session but after numerous pops and energy drinks thay were bouncing off the walls.

Since you are accepting of prescription and OTC meds, have you ever dealt with someone with an addiction to them? How would you handle someone who you found out was addicted to, say, pain killers - enough to have an effect on the gaming group? I ask this because, in my experience, I have had far more problems with people having problems with prescription and OTC meds than I have had with people who drink alcohol.

 

[Imperialus]

This is related to what I posted above. Why would you assume that someone who doesn't drink for other than religious reasons must be a recovering alcoholic? I don't drink at all, the only alcohol I recall ingesting in my life was a sip of wine at a wedding when I was 19 or so. I have made a choice not to drink. Oh yes, we're out there.

Choosing not to drink and refusing to be around alcohol in any form are two different things though. I have friends who just won't drink, but they'd still come to a BBQ where alcohol was present. If someone comes out and says that they will not be coming if there is booze there then I don't think it's all that weird to assume that they might have had a problem with it in the past.

*edit* I'd also try to be supportive of them in their attempt to stay sober and make sure that there was no alcohol present when they were around.

 

[Bumbles]

If that were the case I'd be cool with not having beer with dinner. I'd ask again if you were allergic to beer and would therefor like a steak without marinade.

I'd pass on the steak to be honest. But my dietary restrictions and preferences are none of your concern, so I'll refrain from further details. You don't need to know what I eat or why, and if you want, you can imagine whatever reasons you like. If there's anybody not able to come up with some sensible ones, then here's a few:

Hindus, Jews, and Muslims, along with many Christian sects, and members of other religions have restrictions on what they can eat.

Other people have medical conditions and allergies that preclude their consumption of certain foods. In others, there might not be a dreadful risk, but they are concerned about their health and moderate their food consumption.

Some people have ethical concerns about the treatment of animals and the environmental impact caused by the food production industry.

Some people just don't like certain foods.

If, of course, you already know them, then good, but this is for the people who might ask why because they didn't.

Which, if any, apply to me, is private, so do me a favor and respect that. Thanks.

I'd also probably assume (unless you said it was for religious reasons or some-such) that you were a recovering alcoholic who was afraid of falling off the wagon, and too ashamed to admit it.

As long as you didn't say it, or make any assumptions based on it, I wouldn't care what wrong-headed ideas you had in your head. If you did bring it up, I'd tell that you were wrong, and remind you of the prior conversation where I brought it up. Do note, I'm not necessarily giving a full accounting of the conversations I have in real life, where I would share at least a summary of the reasons. People who doggedly insist on being convinced though? It's not worth the trouble.

Fair enough. I did mean all drugs but felt it important enough to specify prescription and OTC meds. I also take it to mean that high sugar content foods and drinks are acceptable? How do you handle people who get really jacked-up from pop and energy drinks. I was played a campaign with a good friend and his two nephews. The kids were perfect at the begining of each session but after numerous pops and energy drinks thay were bouncing off the walls.

There's a reason many people I know refuse to play games involving children. And stores that don't allow them in. And the local hospital has signs restricting the number of children you can have as visitors and when. I'm more in the "I'll play short games, but not long campaigns" camp myself.

Since you are accepting of prescription and OTC meds, have you ever dealt with someone with an addiction to them?

Yes. This is why I don't try to deal with the problem any more. It is way too much effort for me. If the person wants to fix their problem, there are plenty of people who have chosen that line of work. I can hand them a flyer as they're being ushered out the door.

There may be cases where I am obligated to report something to the authorities. If you have a problem with that, tough cookies, I'm not going to argue with you over it either. I had a sheriff's deputy come to my house because somebody thought there was a marijuana plant growing in it. It wasn't, I didn't hold it against him, I didn't hold it against whoever made the call. It's not like I would know what the things look like. I can't even identify poison ivy.

 

[Fifth Element]

Choosing not to drink and refusing to be around alcohol in any form are two different things though.

Fair enough, based on the wording used above.

If someone comes out and says that they will not be coming if there is booze there then I don't think it's all that weird to assume that they might have had a problem with it in the past.

I see what you're saying, but "he was probably an alcholic" seems to be quite a leap to me.

 

[maddman75]

If I said "No name callings" would you call it a personal judgment?

I wouldn't. If you do, then I'll have to go back to we're in two different worlds, and obviously they're not compatible.

What if there's, let's say a bookstore. The owner of the bookstore says "I don't carry roleplaying games, because there was this time some gamers came in, gamed on my coffee table all day, got cheeto-dust on my books, smelled like they hadn't showered in a week, and harassed anyone who would stand still for ten seconds about their characters. It drove all my customers away."

"So I don't let gamers into my store. I'll admit that every gamer may not be like that, but I have no way of knowing about that. So I'm going to assume that you are, or at least could be, so you aren't welcome here if you game, talk about gaming, or refer to it in any way."

Is the book shop owner being judgemental? Would you feel offended at being lumped in with the most offensive examples of gamerdom?