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Winter Ceramic DM™: THE WINNER!

mythago

Explorer
Sialia vs Piratecat

Sialia: another episode in the tale of two halflings (and the professor)

Some great ideas, and some nice story. But I still feel its a bit , thrown together.

Piratecat: ooooooh, cyberpunk story. Strange tech, double and triple crosses. Crooked employers, and the quest for the holy grail of the megarich: eternal life

For me its obvious: Piratecat all the way.

Judgment: Piratecat

mythago

For both, the pictures were used well and pushed the story along. And though I don't think either of them were the best entries the writers have done, they're still so good it's darn hard to judge.

Sialia - The End of the World
I love the little village of Berryesa; it is, indeed, the end of the world, but in a good way. The sense of lazing in a sunny day is perfectly handled. I like some of the little touches with language (the world's largest pickle crock, the square full of festival).

The critical part is that there are parts that left me scratching my head. The Lillabo-getting-eaten-by-a-brain episode almost seemed as though it belonged in a different story. It felt as though you were saying "hell, I'm not sure what to do with Lillabo now--I know, she needs to get killed like Tarnby." Ditto Mirabelle's declaration of love for Volpe; yes, they've touched death, but she goes from being lonely and needing a warm body to secretly having loved him for some time--huh? (And it seems strange Volpe gets over "poor broken Mirabelle" after the cavern.)

Piratecat - Lazarus
It started off great (you can't beat that opening paragraph), but I felt that it never quite made up its mind whether it wanted to be a light-hearted spoof of spy story conventions or a real spy story, and the inconsistency weakened it. There's a little too much of Isabelle explaining things seemingly for only the reader's benefit. It also struck me as a little obvious that Isabelle would get caught; arrogant she may be, but she's not stupid, and surely she would know that she isn't privy to every weapons and ID scan her employers have at their disposal.

Very deft use of the pictures in all respects.

Judgment: Sialia
 
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Piratecat

Writing Fantasy Gumshoe!
Well, that's over. A few thoughts -

Frankly, I think both stories would be greatly improved by substantial editing (in Sialia's case for length, in my case for several plot holes.) I don't think either story is our strongest effort. But I absolutely think the right person won, and I couldn't be prouder of who I lost to! Nicely done, Sialia, and that was the kind of story I feel really, really good facing off against. You're making me a better writer just by reading your stories, and that's a valuable thing.

In retrospect, I should have tossed the horror story half a day earlier and spent the extra time polishing the plot of my second effort. Sialia's tale may be weaker because it's too long, but mine is too short - and too short in the wrong ways. On an earlier page Berandor did a good deconstruction of some of its weak points that I generally agree with. I may just rewrite this to see what it could have been.
 

Mirth

First Post
Congrats Sialia! Welcome to the club, here's the key to the exec outhouse (it's a 2-seater but I wouldn't go in there for at least 25-30 mins, sorry 'bout that) and don't forget your raccoon stick.

Mirth
 


BSF

Explorer
Woohoo! Congratulations Sialia!

(Now I can gloat. I told everyone that whoever won the first round pairing between Sialia and I would win the whole shebang. :p)

Piratecat, I really enjoyed your stories. When I started this last one I was thinking - Oh! Piratecat is going back to his high action style. You are the reason why I have started thinking a modern-day game could be fun. I've neer been able to pull one off properly, but I start thinking that it might be possible. Thanks!

Sialia, I really felt empathy through your stories. Your imagery is wonderful. While you were disappointed in some of your characterization, and some others didn't quite understand the characters decisions and motives, a lot of it simply rung true to me. Either you and I have known a lot of the same type of people, or you put in subconsious clues that I somehow picked up. The third option might be that you picked out parts of my personality that I found in the writing. By the way, that third possibility kind of scares me. I knew I was hooked when some of your stories literally took my breath away, or would cause me to simply stop reading while I saw the scene playing out in my mind.

I will go back and read the stories again to throw in my two cents worth later. Apparently, I slept poorly last night because I feel like the walking dead right now, and it is 9:30 out here. Bleah.

Thank you to everyone for this round of Ceramic DM. It was fun and some great stories came out.
 

Sialia

First Post
whoa.
 

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Allanon

First Post
mythago said:
Best Ceramic DM image I just couldn't find an excuse to use:
We're still waiting on that image mythago ;)

Oh and to all the contestants WELL DONE!!!
I've read all you're stories and actually printed (hope you don't mind) some (salia's epic for instance, which is pretty darn heavy even when printed on A4 paper doublesided :eek: ) and distributed them to my player's. They loved them (Oh and Piratecat you've cost me a perfectly good Garfield glass :(, a player managed to drop it from his hands while reading you're 'iconic' story)

I can't wait for the next ceramic DM...
 
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Cedric

First Post
Congrats to Sialia and to PC both for doing such great jobs. Loved both of your stories...

I'm hoping one of these days you guys will let me try again, cause I had a great time.
 


Sialia

First Post
alsih2o said:
poor mythago, completely spent and unable to post another pic...
I know how she feels. Me, I ran all out of words. Imagine. Me.

So I drew three or four pictures yesterday. (check out my "Miscellaneous art doodles thread" http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1348024#post1348024)

Anyway, now that I'm on the mend, I just wanted to scrape a few sentences together to thank everyone. This was an incredible experience. I got a lot out of it.

I'm looking forward to next time too, although I still haven't decided whether I will compete or spectate next time around.

Mind still too fried to contemplate.

In a good kind of way.
 
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alsih2o

First Post
Sialia said:
I'm looking forward to next time too, although I still haven't decided whether I will compete or spectate next time around.

but, but, you HAVE to defend your title! it is tradition!

and next time we may eb able to sway p-cat into running it...so i can take on mythago :D
 

Sialia

First Post
alsih2o said:
but, but, you HAVE to defend your title! it is tradition!

and next time we may eb able to sway p-cat into running it...so i can take on mythago :D
No way! Much as I adore our three esteemed judges this round, I missed your presence on the podium terribly.

Not that I wouldn't like to see you square off against Mythago, and I admit I was disappointed I didn't get to go head to head with you myself . . . but . . but . . actually, I would rather like to have another go at that . . . but I miss having you also judge.
 

alsih2o

First Post
Sialia said:
No way! Much as I adore our three esteemed judges this round, I missed your presence on the podium terribly.

Not that I wouldn't like to see you square off against Mythago, and I admit I was disappointed I didn't get to go head to head with you myself . . . but . . but . . actually, I would rather like to have another go at that . . . but I miss having you also judge.

i could judge and compete if noone minded ;)
 

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