• NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.

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Pit friend
Misplacer beast
Doppelginger: Shapechanger that prefers to mimic cast members of Gilligan's Island
Mind flaker: You thought dandruff was bad
 

One more set, then I've got to get some sleep.


Ethereal Filker - sings fan-themed folksongs.

Malt Mummy - animated corpse of a victim of the Dire Shake.

Runhound - See Spot. See Spot run.

Laughterstone Eviscerator - You'll bust a gut laughing.

Droll - it kills you with its British sense of humour.

Warfogged - "the fog of war" becomes literal with this gaseous creature.

Woodlong - creatures with this template are, ah, well-endowed.

Heroes of Cattle - champions of the minotaur race.

Cape of the Fine Bath - this cape cleans the wearer and all his garments once/day.


And now for some spells. Clerics of Bacchus might enjoy the Dram domain, but beware the cleric/proctologist with the Ream domain!

Control Wines - useful when faced with Wine Horrors.

Wall of Tone - does sonic damage.

Wind Talk - a favorite of politicians.

Statute - a favorite of lawyers.

Whirlmind - brain in a blender.

Discern Vocation - detects target's job classification.

Dire Seeds - you thought dire animals were bad, just wait till you see these burrs!

Misread - turns your spellbook invisible.

Spell Burning - sets your spellbook on fire.

Breast Claws - used by worshipers of Loviatar to inflict damage while grappling.

Golden Bearding - your beard gets force armor.

Fare - single target gets -1 on spare change rolls.

Lower Waiter - brings snooty French servers down a peg.

Feather Fail - avian target loses flight ability.

Sleek, Mass - applies comb and gel to the hair of multiple targets.

Pass without Tracy - you can get into the club, but Tracy can't.

Cause Tear - a creature of 5 HD or less cries for 1d4 rounds.

Bliss - someone's been smoking the Shocking Grass again.

Obscuring Mast - makes it easy to hide on board a ship.

Miner Image - an illusion of a dwarf with pickaxe and ore cart.

Berkskin - instantly flays anyone who uses that annoying Planescape slang.

Ear's Endurance - you can withstand your bard's singing for a prolonged period.

Litterdust - blinds creatures and covers them in small pieces of trash.

Hate Metal - target scorns all inorganic items.

Frog Cloud - the source of those rains of frogs you hear about.

Paste - a cheap, temporary version of Sovereign Glue

Wine Wall - a really big bottle rack.

Sh:)tter - causes explosive diarrhea in subject.

Cent - grants you one copper piece for 1 hr/level.

Silverbard - dwarven battlesingers become hard and silvery, gaining a +2 armor bonus.

Paunch Bolt - use your body flab to propel crossbow ammunition. (Boioioiiinngggg!)

Lunch Item - allows you to eat one Fine item.

Balagarn's Iron Corn - makes maize hard as steel.

Ball Lighting - makes it easier to see your nuts.
 

I did some homework.
In random order:

arcane truckster: prestige class for heavy-vehicle driving witches

share smells: an unfortunate side-effect of having a familiar or animal companion

liceless roleplaying: shouldn't be a problem when players and GM maintain a decent level of personal hygiene

limited dish: nouvelle cuisine

stall spell: feat for when the caster can't decide which spell to cast

e-lemental: virtual elemental, usually found on the internet

spam attack: primary mode of attack of many e-lementals

attach of opportunity: usually provoced by sending virus-infected e-mails

H20: game mechanic based on a film with Jamie Lee Curtis


Hagor
 

dungeon matter: makes up dungeons

hack & stash: first edition feel roleplaying

desk of many things: cursed piece of furniture at which I have to work daily

produce fame: instant success for your bard (and he wants to make musicals...)

continual fame: prevents your bard from being a one-hit wonder

beg of holding: when your bag of holding isn't big enough and you have to ask someone to help you store the loot

bag of eric(k)s: better left unopened

Hagor
 



Morons - axiomatic dwellers of Mechanus, and complete idiots.

Trill - menacing, regenerating, green vocal ululation.

Fund Familiar - sends your toad to town with the car keys and $50.

Crock - this demon is total :):):):):):):):).

Grabrezu - hands where I can see 'em, pal!

Grieg - noted Norwegian fey composer.

Sneak With Dead - the Weekend at Bernie's spell.

Steak With Dead - unappetizing, to say the least.

Assassinade - underworld energy drink.

Mind Bland - spell makes the target's brain impervious to detection, education, or intellectual stimulation of any kind.

Monstrous Slider - kin to the Gelatinous Cube, this giant White Castle burger roams dungeon hallways preying on unsuspecting PCs. It's what you grave.

Iran Golem - Persian guardian construct.

Warrior Poet
 

Spillsword - prestige class without toes.

Troglodate - the social scene In The Dungeons of the Slave Lords.

Ravenlift - elevator to Strahd's castle.

Wall of Cthulhu - different from the regular Cthulhu how?

Peep Ones - mutant marshmallow worshippers of a horrific microwave diety.

Créping Doom - death at breakfast.

Hoop Horror - dominates the post.

Polar - near omnipotent outsider servant of cold gods.

Giralloon - four arms, CR 5, and crazy as a :):):):)house rat.

Nada - human-headed serpent got nothin'.

Lambia - gentle monster.

Thri-Kleen - very hygienic.

Warrior Poet
 

Shield Uther- Keeps King Arthur's dad safe.

Help Hound- A Saint Bernard, with a cask of brandy round its neck

Manic Missile- First level spell fires a bolt of energy, victim commences running around in a hyperactive state.

Fund Familiar- Conjures up some spare change for an arcane spellcaster's companion.

Flind Familiar- Try walking around with THIS dude perched on your shoulder!

Fond Familiar- Familiar develops a way too unhealthy interest in its master.

Scattertray- Causes everyone within 30' radius to throw their trays in the air. A riot to cast in a school cafeteria.

Mordenkainen's Magnificent Manson- Conjures mass murder Charles Manson, clad in splendid robes and jewels.

Leomund's Secure Sheltie- Conjures a dog that has a really really GREAT self-image.

Leomund's Tiny Hutt- Jabba's very young nephew comes to visit.

Combast- An exploding cat goddess

Neutralize Paisan- Italians in a 40' radius suddenly become ineffective.

Slaw Poison- Envenoms cabbage side-dishes.

Jagger of Venom- Beware the Rolling Stones' lead singer and his poisoned big lips!

Skanctuary- A spell which hides sleazy women.

Gentile Repose- Allows non-Jewish people to relax.

Clause Serious Wounds- Conjures an angry Santa, who slashes at you with a machete.
 

Into the Woods

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