word play game

[Dannyalcatraz]

Mounted Wombat - feat used by small, furry animals to become small, furry cavaliers.

Clamia - evil and cruel creatures that take pleasure in causing suffering. They particularly target those who eat them in white sauce over linguini.

Clammasu - noble creatures concerned with the welfare and safety of all good beings- except those who eat them in white sauce over linguini.

Glitch - undead computer virus that you just can't get rid of...

Trimlock - underground barbers

Grimlick - undead lollipop

Deaf Knight - an undead corrupted paladin with no ears

Dear Knight - a very freindly and helpful undead warrior

Grizzly Maskodon - Don's really ugly mask

Warbreast - secret weapon of the Amazons

Grill - Misshapen, floating brains who plan on marinating and barbecuing all humanoids - warning, Grills from Texas and Louisiana use lots of pepper!

Dryad Guard - a construct used to guard dryads

Crypt Thong - really tiny and revealing underwear for the undead

 

[genshou]

Mounted Wombat - feat used by small, furry animals to become small, furry cavaliers.

I bet Wombat would be interested in hearing there's a feat named after him/her!

Warbreast - secret weapon of the Amazons

I occasionally use the Cleavage feat from E.N. Armoury - Chainmail Bikini for female warrior cultures, so that's definitely a good/humorous/amorous explanation of how the amazons fight so fiercely.

Grill - Misshapen, floating brains who plan on marinating and barbecuing all humanoids - warning, Grills from Texas and Louisiana use lots of pepper!

6,000 raging BTUs of man-eating brain

Dryad Guard - a construct used to guard dryads

Maybe I'm just not making a connection, but I can't see what legitimate word you've altered here! Care to enlighten me?

Crypt Thong - really tiny and revealing underwear for the undead

That's just... wrong on so many levels.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Clocked Ape - unconscious monkey

Clickwork Horror - any game by WizKids

Dude Stalker - ferocious predator of the deep desert sands who strikes down unsuspecting (presumably stoned) lost surfers.

++++

Dryad Guard - a construct used to guard dryads

Based on MMII's Dread Guard. MMII p87.

I bet Wombat would be interested in hearing there's a feat named after him/her!

See post #38 this thread!

 

[demiurge1138]

Mind flyer - First, they get themselves stapled to telephone poles. Then, they eat brains!

Mind slayer - Buffy with tentacles.

Inedible (bit of a cheat) - Constructs from Mechanus that use their extremely bad flavor as a weapon.

Grigck - Cricket fey. With tentacles.

Ion Golem - Either negatively or positively charged.

Fresh Golem - Like a flesh golem, but with no unpleasant odor.

Cray Golem - Made entirely of crawfish!

Demiurge out.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Ineditable - generic name for the group of all VERY difficult writers to work with. They either think they are better than they really are, or their works are completely impenetrable, like a translation of the Bible into Tagalog using only an English-German dictionary and Alta Vista's Babelfish program.

Claw Golem - Cray Golem made with only part of the crawfish

 

[genshou]

Hold parson: siezes the nearest vicar by their religious garb and holds them fast. Fun to cast near holy gatherings.
Bigby's clenched cist: The ultimate vampire-slayer spell.
Bigby's crushing Gand: Oooh, that's gotta hurt!
Bigby's forceful hind: Just pray it isn't mating season while you are thus targeted...
Bigby's grasping sand: And you thought quicksand was deadly...
Bigby's interposing land: A more powerful version of wall of stone, this spell conjures an entire geographical area to distance the caster and target.
Horrid welting: The target has their pants or other such garments pulled down or removed, and then a bamboo cane appears and proceeds to beat their bare bottom.
Mispel magic: Oops, I think I missed a letter... (yes this is a cheat but it fits the definition nicely)
Fish: As limited fish, but with fewer limits
Mime stop: Prevents the target from making Perform (mime) checks (and thank the Lord on high).
Shadow wack: Wispy, insubstantial, and inferior.
Legend Lord: A bard with high Bardic Knowledge bonus.
Otiluke's breezing sphere: An energy ball which goes through anything with casual ease.
Greater planar bonding: Become close friends with an outsider of up to 24 HD.
Forcegage: Lets a spellcaster throw down a pledge of pure force as a symbol of a challenge to mageduel.
Plate shift: Steal the king's feast.
Boresight: Lets you know which party guests to avoid.
"Meteor warm": famous last words of too many half-orcs.
Varnish: This one's a self-explanatory spell.
True seeming: This spell only makes you think it reveals all...
Tramp the soul: Ow, I'd hate to be the target!
Rope track: Rope creates illusory bicycle or snake trails to elude pursuers.
1337 57()l2^^: 74l2637 15 8()^^84l2ol3ol 8'/ (_)83l2 1337//355.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Greater Planar Blinding - shows entire plane of existence the image of Chris Farley and Margaret Thatcher dancing the Macarena together.

Forcegag - a Bard spell that makes an unfunny joke at least mildly amusing.

Fig Cloud - buries target in rain of chewy newtons

Gato - summons extraplanar cat

Greeter Command - "Have a nice day!"

Greeter Dispelling - "Sorry, folks, the store is closed!"

Greeter Glyph of Warding - "Tresspassers will be shot!"

Greeter Magic Fang - "Man, that Polydent works great!"

Greeter Magic Weapon - "Oooooh...shouldn'ta had that 5-bean salad at lunch..."

Greeter Planer Ally - "Let me help you get those rough spots off that there board..."

Greeter Restoration - "Hey Bob! Shift Change!"

 

[hagor]

Some more:

Aristocat: class for feline NPCs
Love Silently: useful skill when your parents sleep in the next room
Stonekin: your family after meeting a medusa
creeping loom: a weaver’s worst nightmare
Tree seeing: lets you see trees as they really are, mostly used by bored rangers and druids

Hagor

 

[hagor]

True peeing: male humanoids do not have to raise the toilet seat anymore

Chain lighting: decoration for the Christmas tree

Dope trick: hey dude, now you see it, now you don’t!

Hair domain: for clerics who are going bald

control wings: is fairly obvious - take control of the wings of a winged creature

Find walk: a prerequisite to work at the Ministry of Silly Walks

clock of chaos: do not try telling the time with one of these!

hagor

 

[StupidSmurf]

Yeah, that one's way cool.

Warrior Poet

Thanks! It's funny...now that you guys mention it, it WOULD be a useful think, wouldn't it?


Here's a few more, some of them variations on already covered themes:

Bag of Pricks: Has an endless supply of irritating guys who spill your drinks, cheat at the dice, waste time with unneccesary actions, and argue all of your calls by citing obsure phrases from the PH.

Wind of Wonder: When it starts to blow, it produces a random effect.

Boots of Sped: This footwear reduces your Int and Wis to 4, and requires you to take Special Ed classes.

Gauntlets of Ogle Power: When you wear these gloves, you gain the power to stare lustfully at your target, who gets so discomforted by your staring that he/she must make a Wil save or be shaken.

Melt of Giant Strength: When you eat this toasted sandwich, you gain the strength of a giant...and breath that smells like tuna, mayo, and melted cheese.

Eye of Velma: (OK, cheating...two letter changes) When you place this eyeball in your empty eye socket, your Intelligence increases to 20, you gain a propensity for wearing baggy turtlenecks, your pockets become Bags of Neverending Scooby Snacks, and Daphne starts looking REALLY REALLY good to you....

Omulet of the Planes: This piece of jewelry has some scrambled eggs and pieces of fried pepper and onions mounted onto it. When used, it will summon a 747, an A-10 Warthog, a F-14 Tomact, a C-5 Transport, a B-52 bomber, a Ju87 Stuka, or a Sopwith Camel.

Trollbut Rope: Heavy duty rope woven from the posteriors of trolls.