[WWTBAS?] what superhero would you audition?


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The Contradictor.

My superpower would be the ability to contradict ANYTHING said to me.

The interview process would go like this:

Stan Lee: "So, what are your superpowers?"

Me: "The Contradictor doesn't need superpowers."

Stan Lee: "What is it that you do then?"

Me: "What don't I do?"

Stan Lee: "You said your name is the Contradictor... You contradict people?"

Me: "No. No, I don't."

Stan Lee: "Uh... Right. So, how then do you fight crime?"

Me: "I don't fight crime."

Stan Lee: "Okay, thanks. You can go."

Me: "No, I can't."
 

Simplicity said:
The Contradictor.

My superpower would be the ability to contradict ANYTHING said to me.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.
 

I forget who suggested this (might have been George Carlin), but I would call my self "Gravity Master", have all sorts of lighting themed stuff on my outfit and claim powers over animals. So the super villians would be completely confused by me.
 

Kahuna Burger said:
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.

Well, of course. I could have gone with the Abuser (or the Taunter), but that'd be too easy.
Maybe the Complainer would be better...

Stan Lee: What's your superpower?

Complainer: Why do I have to have a superpower? It's not like that's going to do anyone any good. You get a superpower, and then all of a sudden, somebody's trying to kill you. All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, but no, I sit under a radioactive air conditioner and suddenly I can do things. I never wanted to do things, but when do you ever get what you want? It's not like being a superhero comes with dental, and I have a terrible toothache...
 

If I were to make a superhero, he would be PatchWerk:

patchwerkrz3.jpg


His powers are to patch together any machinery into the device he needs to accomplish his task, in a kludgey manner :)
 

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