TSR Example from the worst TSR adventure module(s) ever published

[Holy Bovine]

*golfclap*

I had no idea this module had some much awesome packed into its pages.

I go to bring it forth from my bookcase. I shall neither runn nor tarry. I am not baking a cake or eating frogurt.

 

[jmucchiello]

I can't believe I missed this thread even with it's 3 or 4 resurrections. I'm also surprised none of the homage's include opposite phrasings, such as, "his face is expressioned" or "You see a nymph. She is not dressed as a cleric or a thief. She is not dressed at all. You die."

 

[howandwhy99]

We just played this adventure last weekend. Apparently we've been dancing around the thing for the entire campaign, over four years. Crazy. Thankfully we have a good DM and he rewired this whole thing to make sense in our world.

Amazingly, it's so small I think we may be done with it as of next session. So maybe two 6 hour sessions tops. Maybe not, though, as I am going more on instinct from play than knowledge of the published module.

I will say those Yetis are vicious beasts and not at all easy even at 5th level. I don't know how a lower level party could have handled them. (probably a form of parley)

 

[Diamondeye]

It may be a bit late, but I want to do one!

Encounter 3.14159

As you approach the Nymph, you see that she is riding a winter wolf, and escorted by seven bandits, one of whom is an orc cleric. All of them are armed with apples. See map 3d

If the party charges, no one is surprised. Otherwise role 1d6 and subtract 7 from the result
-1 The winter wolf offers them 100gp
-2 The nymph drops her apple in the river
-3 The bandits charge
-4 The bandits charge the nymph
-5 The bandits charge the winter wolf
-6 roll again without subtracting 7 and consult any other 1d6 chart in this module at your discretion.

If the bandits fight until dead they will suffer 100% casualties and the Nymph will wring her hands unless they charged her. The winter wolf will always assist himself in combat. If the PCs commandeer the missile launcher they will discover it has only 1 round remaining.

 

[Mark]

P.S. Or a soldier. Or a cleric.

*golfclap*

P.S.S. Or a golfer.

 

[Blair Goatsblood]

Quasqueton

Isn't "The Forest Oracle" in the same typeface that the nazis used??

 

[Lord Xtheth]

Oh. My. Gawd.

Whoever wrote this module (and I strongly suspect it was the Great Cthulhu himself) is like an evil James Joyce writing a demonic version of Alice In Wonderland.

I love the second example;

"It is plain that they are not soldiers by their haphazard way of walking. They do not seem to be joking loudly or singing as they advance."

I’ll be laughing at that for the rest of my life. Really, if there were an entire novel written like that, I would preach from it to people in the streets.

I know I'm probably WAY too late to answer this one. But check out this listing: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Satanic-Verses-Novel-Salman-Rushdie/dp/0812976711/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221871642&sr=8-1"]Amazon.com: The Satanic Verses: A Novel: Salman Rushdie: Books[/ame]

This book is written exactly like this!

Gibreel, the tuneless soloist, had been cavorting in moonlight as he sang his impromptu gazal, swimming in air, butterfly stroke, breast stroke, bunching himself in a ball, spreadeagleling himself against the almost-infinity of the almost-dawn, adopting healdic postures, rampant, couchant, pitting levity against gravity. Now he rolled happily towars the sardonic voice. 'Ohe, Salad baba, it's you , too good. What-ho, old Chumch.' At which the other, a fastifious shadow falling head first in a grey suit with all the jacket buttons done up, arms by his sides, taking for granted the improbability of the bowler hat on his head, pulled a nickname-hater's face. 'Hey Spoono,' Gibreel yelled, eeliciting a second inverted wince, 'Proper London, bhai! Here we come! Those bastards down there won't know what hit them. Meteor or lightning or vengance of God. Out of thin air baby. Dharrraaammm! Wham, na? What an entrance, yaar. I swear: splat.'

 

[Ulrick]

Anybody else who owns the Forest Oracle notice how HUGE brigand camp is? Looking at the map on p.15, "Hut B" looks about 400ft long. And the goat pen is about 500ft x 700ft. Those two goats must need their space.

I've actually run this module some years back, modified for 3.5e. It's one of those modules that when you read through it, you can find some of the quirks. But not all. For instance, one player in the group said, "Why don't we just go find the gypsies? Instead of trying to find these druids?"

At that point I'm like, "oh crap, if they go to the gypsies, then the adventure would be over sooner."

Also, Madame Riva, the one who cursed the Downs, is only a 4th level magic-user! How the hell did she get THAT kind of power?

Also...

From Page 27

If the party tells Madame Riva they already have a cure for the curse, she tells them it will not restore this year's crops. She will restore the crops if they return the pegasus to her.

Don't a lot of crops have seeds? As in, to plant next year? If she restores this years crops, next years crops would be okay, right?

The sad thing is that this module, on the surface, seems to have a lot of potential: A cursed valley, a journey under the mountains with orcs (a la "The Hobbit"), gypsies, a yeti! But in many places the wheels just fall off.

 

[Fifth Element]

Isn't "The Forest Oracle" in the same typeface that the nazis used??

You lose the thread. It's the law.

 

[(un)reason]

Roleplaying Game Credits:

:snipped:

Dragons of Despair (Dragonlance) (1984) TSR, Inc. Songs

Oh sweet zombie jesus. Could anyone provide the examples of his er, musical prowess, so we can mock that as well?