TSR Example from the worst TSR adventure module(s) ever published

Gradine

Final Form (she/they)
I am very sorry, this was not my intent. DF is an astounding game. Not for everyone, but wow.

That being said, there is a certain... mechanical tonality to both texts, isn't there?
"Finished an amulet today. It is crafted of marble. It menaces with spikes of jet. It menaces with spikes of onyx. It depicts an image of an elephant. It depicts an image of a goblin. It depicts an image if a human. It depicts an image of a dwarf. It depicts an image of me. The elephant is on fire. The goblin is on fire. The human is on fire. The dwarf is on fire. I am on fire. The elephant is screaming. The goblin is screaming. The human is screaming. The dwarf is screaming. I am screaming."
 

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Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator
Staff member
"Finished an amulet today. It is crafted of marble. It menaces with spikes of jet. It menaces with spikes of onyx. It depicts an image of an elephant. It depicts an image of a goblin. It depicts an image if a human. It depicts an image of a dwarf. It depicts an image of me. The elephant is on fire. The goblin is on fire. The human is on fire. The dwarf is on fire. I am on fire. The elephant is screaming. The goblin is screaming. The human is screaming. The dwarf is screaming. I am screaming."
“He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times.”
 

Other than WG7 Castle Greyhawk, I can't even THINK of an adventure as bad as you described, and that one only because of the nonsense and puns laced within...

Oddly, I just tweeted this today:

Random Aside: The least well-received #dunegonsanddragons module of all time was CASTLE GREYHAWK which was a tribute to the Dungeonland modules by Gary Gygax. CG's encounters broad sketch comedy with Colonel Sanders, the cast of Star Trek, and Jubilex with his pet parrot.

Unfortunately, Gary Gygax had been newly fired and someone forgot to mention that this was a parody as longtime fans assumed that it was, in fact, the long-awaited Castle Greyhawk megadungeon Gary had been working on for decades. It didn't help that the "funny" cover was actually not that strange compared to typical D&D covers. Which just goes to show you that branding is more important than people realize.
 
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Gradine

Final Form (she/they)
“He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times.”
I've never been high, but I have spent an entire 6-hour van ride in blistering heat with my high school cross country team listening to Tubthumper on loop, and I would posit that the experiences are relatable
 





Stormonu

Legend
It lives!

For the hell of it, I put one of the (in)famous description blocks into an AI story generator. This is what it produced:

A group of seven men approaches. They are following the road east, and are making good time, neither tarrying nor running. Their faces are expressionless. One is dressed as a cleric of some sort, and another is dressed as a traveling drummer. The others could be peasants or serfs going from one location to another for the harvest season. Each carries some sort of weapon. It is plain that they are not soldiers by their haphazard way of walking. They do not seem to be joking loudly or singing as they advance.

"There they come!" shouts a sergeant at the rear guard. "Sixteen o'clock! On your guard!"

The two groups, separated by about half a mile, will meet in only a minute's time. It has been decided that the patrol, which now consists of ten men, will remain hidden and silent while the enemy passes by. If they break into combat, it would be better to attack them from behind.

One soldier, who was standing just a few feet away from me, suddenly shouted out: "Halt!"

Everyone froze. We were all looking forward. Suddenly there appeared two horses approaching us on the road. Both riders wore green helmets with gold designs.

We could hear the clatter of hooves from both sides. A moment later we heard the voice of the sergeant: "Two thousand! Two thousand!"

The two columns had finally met.
 


Maxperson

Morkus from Orkus
it's a long thing... but 2 games going south in the middle of this playtest
That sucks. The players balking at some of the playtest rules?
with a lot of arguments here and on other places...
I know it can be hard, but even though things can be heated here and on other places, try to remember that nothing anyone says or does here is going to affect you or your games. Only your opinion and that of those you game with matter. And probably your significant other. :p

Don't let anyone drive you away from a game.
ian hecox fist shake GIF
 



That sucks. The players balking at some of the playtest rules?

I know it can be hard, but even though things can be heated here and on other places, try to remember that nothing anyone says or does here is going to affect you or your games. Only your opinion and that of those you game with matter. And probably your significant other. :p

Don't let anyone drive you away from a game.
ian hecox fist shake GIF
thank you... this is also what I needed
 


Mr Evil Breakfast

Still stuck in the Village
Having now....coughs.....'acquired' a copy, the whole pavilion - Chloe/Evan section has me 😂.
Lordy that's dreadful, from the writing to the mechanics of the encounter.
And as for the WildWood Inn, I've worn boxer shorts with more spatial awareness than Bolo.
 
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A friend of mine who ostracised himself from the rest of our friends a decade back sent me a copy early this year and wished me to run it for him. :ROFLMAO: I have skimmed it briefly. Has anyone run this? How did it go?
It is a solo adventure for one Dungeon Master and one Player. It is written for Krunk!, a pregenerated character with 18s in all six of his ability scores. He where's nothing but a magic loincloth that gives him a stellar armor class.

I would suggest any who play this adventure be previously intimately aquatinted.

On the bright side, I once saw this module listed for $200! I'd probably pay $²⁰⁰ for the cover art alone. It's the only reason I purchased the module anyway.
 


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