TSR Example from the worst TSR adventure module(s) ever published

[WayneLigon]

...the billy goat butts them for 1d4 worth of damage.

Billy goats do more damage than tall, strong humans do with a punch and it's automatic! No wonder millions of 0-level farmers are massacred each year by their ornery livestock.

 

[Orius]

At that point I'm like, "oh crap, if they go to the gypsies, then the adventure would be over sooner."

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Also, Madame Riva, the one who cursed the Downs, is only a 4th level magic-user! How the hell did she get THAT kind of power?

Asmodeus.

 

[Lizard]

Also, Madame Riva, the one who cursed the Downs, is only a 4th level magic-user! How the hell did she get THAT kind of power?
.

Exception Based Design.

 

[Ulrick]

This thread is hilarious...


As a side note, I had Delon the Mage actually be an 8th level vampire sorcerer concerned about his "herd" (the Downs) starving to death. Madame Riva (perhaps with the power of Asmodeus and exception based design) cursed the Downs because she knew that the villagers were all his slaves. The characters fought Delon, but I borrowed from Vampire: Dark Ages and gave Delon the Gangrel ability of melding into the earth (instead of turning into a gaseous form). Unfortunately, one of the PCs had a shovel...

 

[Knightfall]

Wow.

What a strange thread. I loved it!

It was strange and funny and weird and... I don't have the words.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Neither did the guy who wrote the module.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Oh. My. Gawd.

Whoever wrote this module (and I strongly suspect it was the Great Cthulhu himself) is like an evil James Joyce writing a demonic version of Alice In Wonderland.

Well, according to the module's cover, it was written by Carl Smith.

Carl "of Cthulhu" Smith.

 

[Jasperak]

I just had to

This scenario may be dropped into an ongoing campaign, as the player characters are traveling along a minor road in a forested region. The time is late in the day.

The Path

A fluke of the afternoon sun's rays reveals a narrow trail, partially overgrown with straight, young hardwood saplings and a multitude of weeds, leading off the road you travel. Under other conditions, you would have walked past it.{so why am I stopping?}

A successful examination by a ranger, barbarian, or skilled forester shows the man made trail to be unused by men or large manlike creatures for several months. {what about winter wolves and nymphs?} The saplings took at least four years to reach their present height, and, though they do not block the path, their unbroken state state shows that nothing of any size has passed this way for years {I thought it was months}. Any player character successfully checking finds no evidence of traps or other beings in the area. {naturally since nothing has been here for months or years} In fact, no wildlife inhabits this area at all {I guess that answers the winter wolf and nymph question}, and no birds are seen or heard--a fact that a druid (and possibly a ranger or barbarian) would notice at once. {maybe all of the woodland creatures, men, and large manlike creatures drank sleeping potions}

The Swamp

If the player characters follow the overgrown path for a mile... {because we are in a campaign and have nothing better to do than follow the first overgrown path that we find; a path that hasn't been used in months or years I might add.}

Reprinted from "Guardians of the Tomb" by Carl Smith, Dungeon #1

This guy's work needs a MST3K treatment. His stuff reminds me of one of the greatest fantasy yarns I have even been witness to. Yes I'm saying it... "The Eye of Argon" by Jim Theis

The Eye of Argon

I would love to see a video of a group at a con playing "The Forest Oracle"

 

[evilbob]

This is the best 4-yr old thread ever.

A group of men head by. They are not tarrying or running. Nor are they singing. They don't seem to be making apple pies. As far as you can tell, they're not talking about sports. They neither have sombreros nor stilts. These men are not acrobats. They have no expression as they don't dally to the west.

I laughed out loud - like many, while at work - when I read this. Oh my god this is funny. I'm not the first to say this by far, but: brilliant. I give it a 30% chance of lair.

The apples have no secret compartments. As the party approaches the apples, they hear a howl. A local winter wolf (AC 5; MV 18"; HD 5+1; hp 27 each; #AT 1; Dmg 1-8 [bite]; SA Surprise on 1-4, cold breath; SD immune to cold) has been collecting all the apples in the forest in order to lure prey to the clearing. If anyone takes an apple or gets too close or avoids the apples, the wolf leaps out of the pile and attacks. Roll 1d6 to determine surprise: 1-2: the party is surprised, 3-3, nobody is surprised, 3-5 the party is surprised, 6 the apples are surprised.

I laughed even louder when I read this. I only wish that 1-2: the wolf was surprised, as the wolf jumping out of the apples to surprise the party and being surprised would somehow have been even more perfect. That's at least a 50% chance of lair, right there.

If they succeed, Thomas escape from the cave, and he will give them 100 gold and their choice of a potion of Teleport, an oil of Transmute Rock to Mud, or a potion of Phase Door.

I CRIED when I read this. I seriously had to get up from my desk and walk away, because I was afraid people would start to get worried about me. This, after those last two, is one of the funniest things I have ever read. This thread earns a 90% chance of lair.

 

[Ariosto]

This may have been clarified already, but:

"% Liar" was intentional in The Arduin Grimoire.

"% In Liar" was a typo in Monsters & Treasure (Volume 2 of D&D, in which one could also get a magic sword with the power to "Detect Meal & What Kind").