Why are you adding so much to this story? Who said anything about consistently doing anything. I said he did it one time. Suddenly you've turned it into him doing it all the time.
One, momentary, instance of an impulsive player interrupting is
absolutely not anything like "railroading." A singular, one-off instance of being unable to do the thing you wanted to do
is not loss of agency. It simply isn't. It's an accident, an unfortunate turn of events.
You specifically and repeatedly described it as "loss of agency." A one-off instance of it, not meaning to be disruptive, just getting fired up or whatever, is a perfectly forgivable misstep. Your exact words were also quite generic, not at all making it sound like a single instance: "Usually yes. Generally when player A is talking to NPCs and player B attacks NPCs then the NPCs stop talking and start attacking. Player B railroaded player A into an encounter. He made his attempt to talk be essentially meaningless."
I think you've added alot to that example in trying to get it to make sense with your viewpoint.
I mean,
you keep calling it loss of agency, that's why I read it that way.
If one player wants to combat and the other player wants to talk - how do you establish which is being disrespectful. Is it whichever declares slower?
Absolutely not. Being disrespectful to your fellow players is doing something that can't be walked back, which directly affects them and their goals, without consulting them first. How is this a difficult concept? It's literally the way
anything like that works. Just as it's disrespectful, for example, to eat the last of someone else's food unless you ask them first, or disrespectful to spend someone else's money unless you have explicit permission first.
"I want to try to negotiate" is quite easy to back down from. "I want to physically assault them" is a hell of a lot harder to walk back. That's a clear, cut-and-dried difference. And, honestly? The respectful thing is to confer with your fellow players
regardless of what you want to do, because that shows that you care what they're interested in doing. Now, maybe it "conferring" is something as simple as exchanging knowing glances (if you play at a physical table) or a simple "How we feeling about these guys?" (if you play over voice, like I do). Communication is always superior to assuming you know how people feel.
Not sure what you are asking here.
Your example was a player forcing outcomes on other players by preventing them from participating at all--by zooming in so fast there's no possibility the other player could even
attempt to do something else or stop them, which you claimed was a denial of agency. That's being, honestly, pretty gorram rude--as I said, it's forgivable if it's a
rare occurrence, everyone gets excited now and then. But doesn't your table have an expectation that players get to
participate and
have a voice in what the party overall does? I would absolutely not want to have the game so easily pushed around by a single player, even if it's a different player every time. I expect my players to have the patience and courtesy to, y'know, let people think through stuff and make a decision. It doesn't have to be long, a minute's thought is usually enough to get a real conversation started or come to a decision.
So. Doesn't your table have an expectation that players will get a chance to talk to each other before overt actions occur?
As an example, my players have learned that I use a certain ritual phrase whenever I want to tell them "you may want to pause and think about this" without
saying those words. I say either "Is that really what you do/say?" or "Did you really do/say that?" or the like. If it's really,
really unwise, I may even ask, "Are you
sure?" if I get a yes to the previous question (have only done so once in the current campaign over the course of about three years.) The vast majority of the time, the players are just joking around or otherwise not actually acting in-character, I'm just checking in. Occasionally, a player is jumping the gun, and me asking the question gets them to take a metaphorical step back and listen to what the other players think. It doesn't prevent anyone from doing anything, since if the player says yes, and no one raises objections, I'll go along with it. But just that little bit of "hey, give it a sec maybe?" is enough to make sure players get a voice, get to participate, get to have
some effect on the action--in other words, they still have
agency, even if they don't determine what specific action occurs.