The "I Didn't Comment in Another Thread" Thread

[Snarf Zagyg]

For real: there's a "cocktail" at a restaurant here in Portland called The Wet Salad. It's a Bloody Mary with all the garnishes you can imagine: celery, carrot sticks, strips of bacon, boiled egg, a Slim Jim, asparagus, a whole dill pickle, I swear the thing weighs two pounds.

Waiter, we have a problem. I ordered some booze, not a three-course meal layered on a glass.

 

[CleverNickName]

"Waiter? Sorry to bother you, but there's a cafeteria buffet in my drink."

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

A real conversation I had with a couple of coworkers.

Bob: "What the heck is a 'Michelada' anyway?"
Joe: "It's beer with tomato juice in it."
Bob: "What? That sounds vile!"
Me: "It's more like a Bloody Mary, but with beer instead of vodka."
Bob: "Oh. Well that doesn't sound so bad." (smacks Joe on the back of the head) "What kind of salesmen are you?"

There's a lot of regional variations. I actually go without tomato juice (or Clamato, in some areas) and go heavy on the lime juice, Worcestershire, Tapatio hot sauce and Tajin (chile spice mix).

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

This dates back to prohibition. Here in the Midwest a lot of bars after prohibition ended, only carried low alcohol beverages like beer. So, instead of vodka in the bloody Mary, it was mixed with beer. Obviously, this has aged away and things are not so blue law as they used to be. Though, in the Midwest it is still common to offer a beer back with a bloody Mary that is now made with vodka.

Has anyone told the Mexicans?

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

"Waiter? Sorry to bother you, but there's a cafeteria buffet in my drink."

Too much is never enough.

 

[MarkB]

If it wasn't for Bloody Marys, I wouldn't get any vegetables at all.

Technically it's mostly fruit.

 

[Mannahnin]

For real: there's a "cocktail" at a restaurant here called The Wet Salad. It's a Bloody Mary served in a goddamn fishbowl, with all the garnishes you can imagine: celery, carrot sticks, strips of bacon, boiled egg, a Slim Jim, asparagus, a whole dill pickle, I swear the thing weighs two pounds.

I looked online for a picture of it, but quickly realized that this is not unique to Portland. This cliché posing as a drink has spread everywhere:

Yeah, excessively-garnished Bloodies have been getting sillier and sillier. Makes the one I got in Temple Bar a few years ago with a six inch prawn on top look positively restrained.

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

There's a lot of regional variations. I actually go without tomato juice (or Clamato, in some areas) and go heavy on the lime juice, Worcestershire, Tapatio hot sauce and Tajin (chile spice mix).

Snarf's Regional Brunch Bloody Mary Recipe

Ingredients
Bottle of vodka
Tomato Juice
Bottle of Worcestershire Sauce
Another Bottle of Vodka
Celery Salt
Garlic Salt
Prepared Hot Horseradish
Tabasco Sauce (or other hot sauce, if you prefer)
Fresh Ground Pepper
Kosher Salt
Tajin
Third Bottle of Vodka
Garnishes (olives, celery, other stuff)


Steps
1. Take a long pull from the vodka bottle.
2. Look at the bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Try to figure out how to pronounce it. Woo-ster?
3. Stir together the tomato juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, celery salt, garlic salt, black pepper, and Tabasco in a large pitcher.
4. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
5. No, that's not it. WAR-chest-sire!
6. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
7. Rim the glasses with a mix of celery salt, kosher salt, and Tajin.
8. Wait .... is it like a Cheshire cat? Is that bottle smiling at you? War-shire?
9. Take another pull from the vodka bottle.
10. Look at that rabbit food they call garnishes. Isn't fit to feed a hamster, is it? Throw it on the compost pile.
11. Finish the first bottle of vodka.
12 . It's just American soy sauce. That's what you'll call it!
13. Fill a glass with ice and add two ounces of vodka.
14. Look at that blood-red mix you've created. Do you really want to drink that? Naw. Pour it down the drain.
15. Drink the glass of vodka.
16. Really, a W is just two Vs, right? Vorkestershire sauce? Doesn't sound right.
17. Pour several shot glasses with vodka. Top with tabasco sauce. Drink as shooters. YES!
18. What's this here. THAT'S IT!
19-30. You don't remember 19-30.
31. Why did you wake up in the late afternoon on the kitchen floor surrounded by three empty vodka bottles?

 

[CleverNickName]

Yeah, excessively-garnished Bloodies have been getting sillier and sillier. Makes the one I got in Temple Bar a few years ago with a six inch prawn on top look positively restrained.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a well-garnished drink. You "taste with your eyes first," after all. But there comes a point where I'm no longer buying a drink, I'm buying a whole meal and three appetizers, and all of them soggy. And I can't even reach the beverage I wanted in the first place until I've excavated it from beneath all of the lukewarm seafood, pickles, and salad.

 

[J.Quondam]

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a well-garnished drink. You "taste with your eyes first," after all. But there comes a point where I'm no longer buying a drink, I'm buying a whole meal and three appetizers. And I can't even reach the beverage I wanted--I have to excavate it from beneath all of the lukewarm seafood and soggy vegetation.

I think a paleontologist would just call that "the Cretaceous era". Bleh.