But things are not balanced around 50%. This is what you get if you do not focus on any stat.
Not really.
That's the issue at high level.
At first level, the chance to hit is about 60%.
At 30th level, the chance to hit is often about 40%, even if the player pushed the stat every time and got the best magical items. Some monsters have exceptions (like low Fort, Reflex, or Will), but typically AC ~= 14 + level.
To hit increases by +15, magic increases +6, and stats increase +4 (+5 with demigod). That still leaves a +4 to +5 gap.
The +4 to +5 delta and extra gain required is due to synergies such as having more Per Encounter and Daily attack powers at higher levels, having more ways for Leaders to assist the group, etc.
But if the player does not pump his main stat every time, he will fall even more behind than 40%.
You cannot focus on everything at once but you sure can push one or two defenses or your hit very high.
Even so, high level falls apart for defense because it is extremely difficult to keep all defenses even reasonably high. If the player completely balances his stats (i.e. not pushing one specific stat every time), his 40% to hit drops even lower. If he does not balance his stats (even making up for this with feats like Iron Will), one defense can easily be 5 to 8 higher than another defense. The monster might have a 50% chance to hit one defense, but might have an 80% or more chance to hit another defense.