Active inter-player dislike mitigation-any advice?

[demjenkins]

So, maybe dislike isn't quite strong enough, but I doubt I can find civil enough language to describe it otherwise. To the point, I have two players at my table who don't get along (and it's more than just a little one-sided.) The particular player in question has stated their active "dislike", and during a non-gaming actively antagonized the other-though I'm not sure if the others caught it.

While I don't expect sunshine and rainbows, it has gotten to the point where it's outright disruptive (intentionally putting the entire fictional party in potential jeopardy-yes, I am aware it's just a game-just to mess with the other player's character, not to mention the incident above.) While actively calling him out on his behavior is not out of the question, I'd rather do so when it's just the two of us and that hardly ever happens.

Like I said, I don't expect sunshine and rainbows and a perfect jewel of a table. I don't even mind if characters are antagonistic towards each other (how often does real life throw together a disparate group of people and they get along like the care bears?) I just want to keep some semblance of peace, at least so the other players can have fun. The antagonist has always been a bit of a jerk (I don't expect that to change) and the other one's not the strongest player (both socially and actively), and I don't expect that to really change either. I just don't want total derailment.

Sorry if this rambled, lol, it's nearly 430 my time. Also, if this has been answered in another thread, please direct me to it. I haven't purchased the watchamathingy (technical term, that), that lets me search, and forum spelunking isn't my strong suit.

Thanks for any help and or pointers (or even amusing anecdotes to put my issue in perspective.) And don't hesitate to ask for clarification, I don't bite.

 

[delericho]

"We're here to play a game. Whatever your issue is, it's not my business. Keep it that way - leave it away from the table."

And if the jerk continues to cause a problem, boot him.

 

[was]

...I tend to frown upon players who intentionally disrupt the game with selfish and juvenile antics. After talking with the neutral players, I'd suggest pulling him aside and talking to him. I would tell him that he can either choose to end his disruptive behavior or choose to walk away from the game. Make it his choice.

 

[Umbran]

I am assuming you are all adults? Then it turns up as some variation of:

"Folks, I expect everyone here to behave like mature adults. We are here to play a game. If you cannot control your dislike of a person at the table, you'll be asked to leave."

Basically, like some of our moderation policy here on EN World. You are free to dislike a person, but we expect you to show some basic respect for everyone at the table. Stop being a jerk, and play.

 

[demjenkins]

Thanks for the suggestions, folks. I'll hopefully be able to take him aside and talk. I can't necessarily boot him unless game location were to move; he's one of the roommates at the apartment hosting us. That information would probably have been helpful up there in my original post.

I was hoping for some creative ways to subtly leash him at the table, just in case he doesn't listen, but I think I have a few ideas: he made an oathbreaker paladin.

Actually, thinking about it now that I've had a chance to sleep, I have no idea what I was expecting lol. Other than maybe someone showing me how to hack real life to bring up an interface similar to World of Warcraft's guild control (if only!)

 

[Wednesday Boy]

I was hoping for some creative ways to subtly leash him at the table, just in case he doesn't listen, but I think I have a few ideas: he made an oathbreaker paladin.

I'm not sure if you're joking but I recommend not trying to deal with it in the game. In-game restrictions will just present a hurdle for the player to avoid while being antagonistic. And messing with someone's character can create sore feelings instead of encouraging them to be a kind player. I think addressing player expectations directly with a frank, face-to-face conversation will have much more mileage.

 

[Doug McCrae]

I was hoping for some creative ways to subtly leash him at the table, just in case he doesn't listen, but I think I have a few ideas: he made an oathbreaker paladin.

Subtle's not going to cut it. That's just a way of you avoiding a personal confrontation you no doubt find unpleasant. But you have to be brave.

It's not an in-game problem so it can't be fixed by in-game solutions. It's a player problem and it can only be fixed by the player changing his behaviour or by changing the makeup of the game group.

 

[delericho]

Thanks for the suggestions, folks. I'll hopefully be able to take him aside and talk. I can't necessarily boot him unless game location were to move; he's one of the roommates at the apartment hosting us.

IMO, you need to be prepared for the possibility of doing just that. Even if that means finding a new place to play.

I was hoping for some creative ways to subtly leash him at the table, just in case he doesn't listen, but I think I have a few ideas: he made an oathbreaker paladin.

Never use an in-game solution to try to fix an out-of-game problem. Speak to the player and try to persuade him to change his actions; don't try to leash the character - you'll just come across as playing favourites for the other guy.

 

[KingsRule77]

Boot the problem. Move the game. Problem solved. No mercy.

 

[demjenkins]

I'm not sure if you're joking but...

Mostly lol. Definitely talking to him (and possibly my entire table, depending on who's there tonight).Yes, people; talking's good, singling out is bad. I just like having multi-layered plans at hand in case he says "Sure, I got you, keep the peace!" but does it anyway. I want to find a solution (if talking fails and he makes an intentional mess again) to react with at hand, something that won't needlessly create drama or strife. Kicking him off is possible (even if it means shutting the game down for a week or three while we find another location). It may just come down to that and incompatible personality types.

Hopefully, my worries are for naught and he listens the first time. I sincerely hope he does, because I'm leaving what happens tonight (as a social group, not as story characters and tellers) largely up to him.

Thanks, sincerely, (again?) for the discussion. I'm by and large a silly person (perhaps a little too silly, at times, as you may have noticed) and talking things through to a neutral party helps me sift through what's usable and what's not lol.

Oh, still going to mess with his character, but that's because he left it up to the GM (oh, hey, that's me) how it happens (within reasonable discussion.)

EDIT: [MENTION=6680793]kin[/MENTION]gsRule - but I'm not a Sith, and I'd rather avoid that hassle because it could take a while to find someplace else.