Well, I usually think that the problem is really that gamers only see 2 ways

Either they try to play 100% according to their alignment, or they don't like alignments in the game.
So if I want to play a Lawful character that tells lies, the gamer type 1 will tell me "no, you MUST not tell a lie, or the DM should strip you of your Lawfulness", and gamer type 2 will say "see, alignments are a straightjacket, let's ditch them!". However, who is the straightjacket really? "Lawful" written on my PC sheet, or the DM type 1?
I can understand the type 1 when dealing with Good vs Evil, that if you're Good you shouldn't make exceptions when it's convenient, but I think it's a special case. Lawful vs Chaotic is more liquid, there are 100 different individual things that are either Lawful or Chaotic: loyalty, sincerity, not breaking the law (but whose laws may depend), respect authority (but there can be many), traditionalism, moral standards, etc. Why should a PC abide to each of them? Why cannot someone choose the lawful way for 80% of the topics, and still qualify as "Lawful" for game purposes?