Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
So, Paka advances 2-0, and Halivar advances by default. WildGazebo and Taladas are split 1-1, as are NiTessine and Hellefire.
Tiebreaker to follow.....![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
Tiebreaker to follow.....
Ceramic DM -- Fall '06 ** yangnome wins! **
- Thread starter Rodrigo Istalindir
- Start date
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
Tiebreaker – WildGazebo vs Taladas
WildGazebo – Some very powerful and evocative imagery, but almost too much. The narrative thread that should anchor everything together isn’t strong enough to hold, and instead of feeling something concrete at the end, I’m left thinking ‘Huh?’. This is one of those times, I think, where the short timeframe for Ceramic DM really hurts – I think if the writer had gotten an outside opinion before submitting, they might have filled in some of the blanks. Picture use is pretty good, especially the bleeding Mary at the climax.
Taladas – This story had an intriguing beginning – I’m a sucker for stories with foreshadowing. Unfortunately, for foreshadowing to work, you need some space between the portents and their realization, some time for the sense of dread and the reader’s investment in the characters to develop. Still, the scene with the demon leaving the body was jarring and well executed. I think, though, that the story would have been better had the reason for the Reverend’s depression been revealed at the end. Use the other scenes to hint and tease and then *blammo*. The picture use is solid, and like WildGazebo’s story the bloody scream is the most dramatic and effective.
This is a tough call. I think picture use is roughly even. WildGazebo does slightly better on per-picture basis, but the overall flow of the story dilutes their impact. Both make excellent use of the one picture, though. Had Taladas re-worked the structure to deliver the payoff at the end, he’d have won, but this one goes to WildGazebo by a hair.
WildGazebo advances, 2-1.
Tiebreaker – NiTessine vs Hellefire
NiTessine -- A marvelous little story. An interesting character at its center, one that would be welcome to appear again. The prose overflows with little touches that give the story weight and presence and a sense of place and time that makes it feel like part of a more expansive work. The names and titles and so forth are an exceptional touch. The final third of the story and the denouement are a bit of a letdown, but that’s partly a result of how strong the setup and scene with the beholder were. The picture is is very good – the establishing shot of the protagonist is solid, and by working the illness into the picture, it gives it an impact that carries through the story. The torturing of the beholder is superb, essential to the story, and a perfect example of story use in Ceramic DM. The apple stretches things to the breaking point, though. Poetic license is ok, but you always run the risk of losing any relevance of the real picture to the story.
Hellefire -- An interesting approach, and well-executed. The story drops you right into an alien encounter with little exposition, letting the reader’s initial ignorance enhance the alien flavor. The ETs are truly non-human, but there is enough in common to not totally alienate (
) the reader from the protagonist. The use of Elvis as a civilization-altering envoy is clever, although I tweaked to it earlier than the author probably intended, lessening the impact of the revelation at the end. The scenes on the alien spaceship are solid and detailed; the scenes on Earth are a little too pat, though, and seem a little forced. Still, an excellent little story. The picture use is solid, but lacked any single image that really tied the story together. The crashed spaceship, though, was clever, and a better example of how to take liberties with a picture and still keep it consistent with the rest of the setting.
Two solid entries, both chock-full of little details that really make their respective stories come alive and feel three-dimensional. NiTessine’s picture use was a little stronger, though, and the beholder scene was near-perfect Ceramic DM.
NiTessine advances, 2-1.
Congratulations and thanks to all the competitors. This was an exceptional Ceramic DM round.
WildGazebo – Some very powerful and evocative imagery, but almost too much. The narrative thread that should anchor everything together isn’t strong enough to hold, and instead of feeling something concrete at the end, I’m left thinking ‘Huh?’. This is one of those times, I think, where the short timeframe for Ceramic DM really hurts – I think if the writer had gotten an outside opinion before submitting, they might have filled in some of the blanks. Picture use is pretty good, especially the bleeding Mary at the climax.
Taladas – This story had an intriguing beginning – I’m a sucker for stories with foreshadowing. Unfortunately, for foreshadowing to work, you need some space between the portents and their realization, some time for the sense of dread and the reader’s investment in the characters to develop. Still, the scene with the demon leaving the body was jarring and well executed. I think, though, that the story would have been better had the reason for the Reverend’s depression been revealed at the end. Use the other scenes to hint and tease and then *blammo*. The picture use is solid, and like WildGazebo’s story the bloody scream is the most dramatic and effective.
This is a tough call. I think picture use is roughly even. WildGazebo does slightly better on per-picture basis, but the overall flow of the story dilutes their impact. Both make excellent use of the one picture, though. Had Taladas re-worked the structure to deliver the payoff at the end, he’d have won, but this one goes to WildGazebo by a hair.
WildGazebo advances, 2-1.
Tiebreaker – NiTessine vs Hellefire
NiTessine -- A marvelous little story. An interesting character at its center, one that would be welcome to appear again. The prose overflows with little touches that give the story weight and presence and a sense of place and time that makes it feel like part of a more expansive work. The names and titles and so forth are an exceptional touch. The final third of the story and the denouement are a bit of a letdown, but that’s partly a result of how strong the setup and scene with the beholder were. The picture is is very good – the establishing shot of the protagonist is solid, and by working the illness into the picture, it gives it an impact that carries through the story. The torturing of the beholder is superb, essential to the story, and a perfect example of story use in Ceramic DM. The apple stretches things to the breaking point, though. Poetic license is ok, but you always run the risk of losing any relevance of the real picture to the story.
Hellefire -- An interesting approach, and well-executed. The story drops you right into an alien encounter with little exposition, letting the reader’s initial ignorance enhance the alien flavor. The ETs are truly non-human, but there is enough in common to not totally alienate (
) the reader from the protagonist. The use of Elvis as a civilization-altering envoy is clever, although I tweaked to it earlier than the author probably intended, lessening the impact of the revelation at the end. The scenes on the alien spaceship are solid and detailed; the scenes on Earth are a little too pat, though, and seem a little forced. Still, an excellent little story. The picture use is solid, but lacked any single image that really tied the story together. The crashed spaceship, though, was clever, and a better example of how to take liberties with a picture and still keep it consistent with the rest of the setting.Two solid entries, both chock-full of little details that really make their respective stories come alive and feel three-dimensional. NiTessine’s picture use was a little stronger, though, and the beholder scene was near-perfect Ceramic DM.
NiTessine advances, 2-1.
Congratulations and thanks to all the competitors. This was an exceptional Ceramic DM round.
Last edited:
NiTessine
Explorer
Excellent. Thank you for your critique and observations. I liked the beholder scene quite a bit myself. I feel similarly about the ending, but I was running out of time. I blame most of the typos, grammatical errors, and tautologisms on the same problem.
So, anyone figure out the real name of the Dragonlord?
So, anyone figure out the real name of the Dragonlord?
Wild Gazebo
Explorer
"Example- Pilot for Pilate, furry for fury, penitents for penitence. (tell me if that's a European spelling)"
No. It most certainly isn't. In order of error...idiocy...typo...miss-edit.
Antiquated use of consumption: wasting of the body. Derived from it being a synonym for tuberculosis. The real question is why 'penitence'.
Thanks for the readover.
No. It most certainly isn't. In order of error...idiocy...typo...miss-edit.
Antiquated use of consumption: wasting of the body. Derived from it being a synonym for tuberculosis. The real question is why 'penitence'.
Thanks for the readover.
maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
Wild Gazebo said:
Hmmm. I hadn't thought of consumption in the tuburcular mode, I think the conspicuous descriptor threw me off...
Congrats to all of the winners, I sent in my round 1B judgements so we must be waiting for Lady Death again.
Deuce Traveler
Adventurer
Congrats to Paka. Sorry, but my story was going to be a two-parter, since I was hoping to advance. I see that I should have done one complete story at a time now.
Anyway, did anyone figure out who Robert, Sheila, and Coach Hank were and why they feel responsible for the world being as it was?
Anyway, did anyone figure out who Robert, Sheila, and Coach Hank were and why they feel responsible for the world being as it was?
