Conan 2009 Teaser Poster

[HeavenShallBurn]

Good to hear it's not dead; usually when I see a site not have any significant updates for a year or more, I think of it as dead. The ad, it was an actual trailer for the film or just a 'name - coming soon' thing? Unusual that it wouldn't be up on their site.

It was an actual trailer, not very long, but full motion with sound. I liked the animation, and the soundtrack seems a lot like CtB.

 

[Klaus]

I don't know - I prefer Conan as the son of a blacksmith who is captured by "vikings" while raiding them and who escapes into the wilderness by breaking free from his captors, braining them with chains.

The CtB version has him being captured as a child, strapped to pushing a big wheel with other children for his entire adolescence, has him put into training as a pit fighter, and eventually he doesn't escape, he is forced out of the pit fighting business (by a trainer who had pity on him or something?)

Forgive any details incorrect in that, but Whuuu? Where was the heroic Conan I read about in the books? The Ahnold /Milius version was insipid with a weak character.

Don't even get me talking about the crucifixion scene, whichever film that was in. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Ahh! I've got to go and lie down now

Cheers

What I meant is that CtB is better than CtD.

Plus, the sequence of Conan escaping wolves to fall into that warlord's cairn and getting his kewl equipment is just too D&D to pass up!

Now shhh, lie still.

 

[Plane Sailing]

There was a crucifixion bit in one of the REH stories (can't remember which one right now). There was some sort of revolt in a city where Conan was captain of the guards.

Yep, that's the story I'm thinking of - it is the one which ends with, effectively, a giant Hezrou being summoned (but slain with massed hail of arrows).

The REH Conan *is* too bad-ass to die. A vulture comes down and he kills it with his teeth, and he doesn't actually die before he is rescued.

Plus, the sequence of Conan escaping wolves to fall into that warlord's cairn and getting his kewl equipment is just too D&D to pass up!

But that is taken directly from a Conan story, except that in the story the warlord skeleton comes to life and attacks him! That is *even more* D&D than the feeble film where it is just a skeleton.

OK, going for a lie down now

 

[Emirikol]

I think you folks are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too picky. We're danged lucky to have ANYTHING at all. We're danged lucky to have the less-than-perfect Milius Conan. We're danged lucky to have those movies, that helped inspire more people to play this D&D game. ..I don't consider us lucky to have the TV show, I'll give that...but the rest! Danged lucky.

REH was a crazy nut with an idea that never got fully fleshed out. He didn't produce enough Conan to "give a feel" for 'what is conan' before he levelled the ender to his crainium. If he'd have written that stuff nowadays, people would laugh at the brevity of it. It took bad pastiche writers, ARTISTS, and fans to finish what we all "feel" is Conan and Hyboria world.

This "perfect" conan version that everyone seems to have is a black-lotus dream. I'd claim that Frazetta made more out of Conan than REH himself!

Maybe they'll do like Batman redux, that might be neat Still, who wants to see Tower of the Elephant redone for the 55th time. The story isn't that great!

jh

 

[Emirikol]

What I meant is that CtB is better than CtD.
Plus, the sequence of Conan escaping wolves to fall into that warlord's cairn and getting his kewl equipment is just too D&D to pass up!
Now shhh, lie still.

The special editions shows Ahnold getting bitten by the wolf and cussing. It's hilarious.

jh

 

[Emirikol]

Uh oh...not Millenium Films...http://www.millenniumfilms.org/

We might have a 'different' kind of Conan alright...

CONAN: I should smite you where you stand!
PRIEST OF MITRA: Thou wouldn't dare strike down a priest of the true god!
CONAN: Hey, you mean THE true god?
PRIEST: Of course you imbicile, what did you think I was talking about?
CONAN: Well, then, thou art forgiven for thyne insults. We are brothers. Where were you baptized?
PRIEST: HUH?
CONAN: I thought so! [cleave]

jh

 

[WayneLigon]

I think you folks are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too picky. We're danged lucky to have ANYTHING at all.

No, you're not 'lucky' when you're given sub-standard fare, nor should you be accepting of it. That's like watching the old Batman TV series and saying 'well, we're lucky we're getting any sort of superhero on TV'. Attitudes like this are why producers think they can foist off crap on people because 'the fanboys' will be so glad to get even substandard scraps that they'll still make their money back.

Sure, there are some people you'll never please no matter what. Sure, you can be too picky. If people were choosier about what they spent their money on and didn't just drop their cash like a crack whore drops her dress at anything that even resembles what they's really like to see, we'd have better TV, better movies, better everything.

We deserve better than Ahhnold and we have for 20 years.

 

[Templetroll]

Conan the Destroyer was pretty bad. Although it did hit on notes closer to REH's stories, the character of Conan wasn't anywhere near REH's cimmerian.

CtB is much better.

Watch "Conan the Destroyer" as D&D movie - it has the varied group of characters meeting up with some odd reason to travel together and encounter strange people, kill them and take their stuff.

It was great in that there was that nice 'twist' at the end.

 

[Klaus]

Watch "Conan the Destroyer" as D&D movie - it has the varied group of characters meeting up with some odd reason to travel together and encounter strange people, kill them and take their stuff.

It was great in that there was that nice 'twist' at the end.

Sorry, no can do. Too busy thinking of Olivia d'Abo's neckline in CtD.

 

[Dragon-Slayer]

I think the worst travesty is the actual translation of Conan to film so far, which is not necessarily Arnold's fault, but in the direction.

Having read a fair amount of R.E.H. over the years, it is very obvious that Howard detested civilization, a sentiment that I understand and share. The films equate a barbarian to an idiot, Howard wrote his barbarians as intelligent and canny, if overly superstitious. Kull, even as king has a wild barbarian heart, Bran Mak Morn, king of the Picts is intelligent and strategic in his decisions. Likewise, Conan is not written as a fool or an idiot. He may be ignorant of society's ways and means, but he is not an imbecile.


Quotes from Robert E. Howard:

Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.


I always find myself instinctively arrayed on the side of the barbarian,
against the powers of organized civilization.


Barbarism is the natural state of mankind. Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance and barbarism must always ultimately triumph.




What we get in films:

"Conan! There are six of them against one of her!"

"One..two..three...I think you're right."