Did I do the right thing?

[Darth K'Trava]

See, and now you're sounding much more reasonable again - like the KenM I was defending toward the beginning of the thread. I gotta ask - were you maybe a little drunky the other day when you posted that bit of nastiness?

Or had a bad day....

If you were married or similarly committed, I personally wouldn't have seen anything wrong with locking her in a room until the chemical dependency went away enough to make her see reason, as long as she was treated very well otherwise. I've told my wife I'd do that if she ever got addicted to anything like that, and she'd do the same thing to me. Not that that is likely.

But we're weird. And in a newer relationship (or even in some older ones), that could obviously cause you all sorts of legal problems. :\

I'd be surprised if you did.... but then children of addicts become one of two things: dependent like the parent or abhor the notion all-together. In my case, Mom used to smoke (she's since quit) but I can't stand smoking or the stench of it. However, my sister smokes and won't quit. So, either you're gonna follow in the footsteps or you're gonna go all out "I HATE IT!!" (like I did).

 

[KenM]

This woman thought, mistakenly, that despite the problems you have had with people with drug problems in the past, that you woul choose to continue being with her even after she told you what was really going on. Frankly, I think her expectation was a good deal more reasonable than yours.

When we first met and were getting to know each other, I told her flat out that I don't think I can have someone that does drugs in my life. She also told me flat out that she used to do alot of pot, but she was done with it. She said she did not like the blackouts, ect.. Thats why I fell so betrayed and let down, she flat out lied to me, IMO. So why she thought I would accept it, I don't know.

 

[fusangite]

I told her flat out that I don't think I can have someone that does drugs in my life. She also told me flat out that she used to do alot of pot, but she was done with it. She said she did not like the blackouts, ect.. Thats why I fell so betrayed and let down, she flat out lied to me, IMO. So why she thought I would accept it, I don't know.

Wishful thinking. Part of the reason you're in so much pain too. Wishful thinking is part of falling in love -- choosing to believe someone will love you unconditionally no matter what your head tells you.

 

[KenM]

If I knew she was still a drug user, I never would have made an effort to get to know her and become friends. I would have been civil to her and all, but nothing father then that. The reason I would not have taken it far is because I knew it would have ended bad and we would end up resenting each other, and thats what happened.