Dissatisfaction with Your Gaming Group?

Ramien Meltides

First Post
I've got a regular D&D 3.0 group that meets every two weeks or so. We have 5 players and 1 DM, and 4 out of those 5 players (yes, I am including myself :) ) are pretty decent. However, I am finding it more and more difficult these days to keep going back for 6+ hours of gaming with this group for a number of reasons.

First, let me go over why I joined the group and why I stick with it even now. First, the DM's storytelling abilities are rather good. His NPC's are believable, his tales thrilling, his plots intricate enough to intrigue and exciting enough to keep me interested.

But...the problems follow. First, I think there are some fundamental differences in playing style between myself and the DM. I prefer open rolling, he rolls everything behind the screen. I prefer rolling skill checks myself, he makes them for us. I prefer standard "average" hit points per level, he likes rolling for each level gained. These differences are minor, and if they were the only barriers I faced, I wouldn't complain one bit. Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

As I mentioned above, his storytelling ability is pretty darn good, but his resolutions to some of his plot lines leave a bit to be desired. Our party often flounders around from one plot hook to the next with little overall direction - granted, some of that blame belongs on us and the party leader, but it's often difficult to tell in this game which threat is the most pressing until we're already moving on to the next.

Second, I suspect the DM of favoritism. One of our players is blind, and the DM rolls all that player's dice behind the screen. Again, not a big deal until I realized that the DM and the blind player are both very good friends (the DM drives the blind player to the game every session) and the blind player's PC is virtually dripping with powerful magic items, to include two artifacts, at 12th level or so. Add in the fact that this player's paladin mount can change size between tiny and large, gains a full attack even after charging, and travels to the Astral Plane at will - well, it just looks fishy to me. I'm one of those players who prefers the focus of the story to be on the player characters, and it just doesn't feel all that good when the DM is rolling dice for this character and that character pulls off some amazing combat strikes to kill the big evil bad guy.

Third, I feel that the DM goes way too easy on us as a party. Last session, I joked that the undead guardians of the dungeon must have been programmed to "seriously injure" rather than "kill" intruders - twice, the said undead guardian turned away from a staggered or unconscious opponent to attack a fresh one. I understand a lack of enthusiasm for killing PC's, but avoiding it outright removes a great deal of the challenge in the game for me. Oh well, I suppose it means something good - I doubt I have to worry about my current character dying anytime soon. The party sorcerer does a lot of silly things in combat (see below) and I've been certain that he should have died a few times over during the course of this campaign (his hit points are around the 40 mark while everyone else is at or above 80+, and he's consitently facing off with bad guys in melee - how he's lived this long, I have no idea).

Fourth, the DM seems unwilling to work with me on some issues. I was playing a dwarven wizard at first, and this was fun, but there was an NPC wizard in the party who was higher level and I essentially felt like a "tagalong." I sent the Dwarf Wizard away and made a ranger/archer type to fill another hole in the party composition and have been playing this character for a while instead. Now, the NPC wizard is gone, and I'm tempted to bring back the Dwarf Wizard since I think that'd be a lot more fun now without looking like a chump - but it's difficult to work things out. See, when the Dwarf Wizard left the party, he was one level below the party average (He was 8th level when the rest of the party was at or near 9th). Now, the party average is 12th level, and my archer just hit 10th (I missed a couple of sessions unfortunately). So, I started out under the party average, and remain under the party average for missing some sessions. I asked the DM if I could bring the Wizard back at one level below the party average (i.e., 11th level) - I didn't feel it was an unreasonable request. I've done quite a few things for the game outside the gaming table that I thought might be worth some consideration - I converted and painted three miniatures for the players, brought a custom battle map to each game, and contributed a great deal of e-mail storyline and roleplaying material. So far, though, it's no dice. At this point, I'm considering sticking to my guns - either I get the Dwarf Wizard back at 11th level (12th soon if the party keeps advancing this quickly - I want something at or near party average so I'm not a "tagalong" again), or I might just find something else to do on the weekends.

And now we come to the final point that's bugging me about this game - the player dynamics. Our group is pretty good - the players all have good attitudes. But in character, we bicker a lot. There's a bit of a lack of trust in the group (our blind player often has the DM whisper responses in other languages so we don't get a clue what's going on), and that's never been something I enjoy. Give me a group that trusts each other enough to do everything openly any time! The group has a leader, but that leader rarely if ever consults with the entire party to discover the prevailing opinion - to his credit, he's getting better at that. Meanwhile, we have another player who seems to have some kind of learning disability. He takes copious notes and has an excellent attitude in play, but constantly offers nonsensical suggestions and is nigh-useless in combat without a great deal of coaching. And, in a very irritating manner, he refuses to read the rules and must always be reminded how things work after 26+ sessions. I can only explain Initiative so many times before I begin to get unhappy.

So...you fine folks out there in ENWorld...what should I do? Drop the group? Or hang tough?
 

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However, I am finding it more and more difficult these days to keep going back for 6+ hours of gaming with this group for a number of reasons.

That sounds like you dread sessions.

Time to quit.

Do something fun.
 

The only dissatisfactions I've ever had with gaming groups are as follows:

DM runs combats like he has another life to live after this one
Players want to play too much and socialize too little (or vice versa)
Players think that because it's a home game that they don't need to roleplay
DM runs adventures as single canned events with no coherence to the overall campaign
We played at one guys house and we had to pay for parking downtown (8=9 bucks)
Too few players
TOo many players
Too many players named Jason in the same group (I think we now have three..hell, I can't get my kids' names right, how am I going to figure out three jasons?)
Too few women
Too many women
Too many elves
DM always makes up the adventure off the cuff, thus once you figure him out the entire rest of the campaign is just the same story over and over and over and over and over
DM doesn't make combats intersting enough
Players don't make combats interesting enough
Other players don't make their characters coherent with anyone elses so it's just like playing online deathmatches of ALIENS v.s PRedator
Players without a sense of humor or a sense of immaturity (not enough that is)

jh
 

It's not that the games are un-fun. It's just that I suspect I could be having MORE fun (specifically, in a game that suits my preferences better - i.e., knowledgeable players, a group of PCs who trust each other, and a DM who isn't afraid to get a little rat-bastardy).
 

Sounds like a typical group. ;)

Major suggestion- talk to them, let them know your problems, let the GM know you want to roll your own dice, etc.

Write up a cheat sheet for the slow player, combat from beginning to end and place it where he can see it at the beginning and end of the combat or through out the session (hell, paper clip it to the GM's screens on the Players side- use large font so it can be seen).

When the leader makes commands say no. "I want to do this- who's with me?" No one is, okay, do what you want.

Bickering can wear thin at a table. Talk over it, inturpted the bickering with gaming, or something totally unrelated- "ran over a dog today. I am so bummed. How was your day? Okay they was no dog, but there was a big bug on my wind shield."

If it doesn't work out, put up a cal for a GM and players at the local game store or hunt on EN for a new group, set up a game and just don't show to the other group that weekend- you like them then contact the first group and say- "situation not resolved, have to move on."

Good luck- hope it works out where you stay with the group.
 


I've spoken to the DM about the minor issues, but he insists that's the way he wants to run his game - and I can't argue with that.

I've made a cheat sheet for the slow player on an index card - he lost it. I made him a custom miniature - he didn't want it. I guess he prefers to have his elven sorcerer look like a bearded barbarian :)

The leader IS improving after I aired some of my complaints at the table. It's a slow process.
 


Ramien Meltides said:
...or I might just find something else to do on the weekends.

I've been there. Pretty recently, too. In the end, you have two choices (as I did): keep gaming or don't. You have to make it all about you and maximize your fun. I do this by decreasing my investment. That means no more customized or painted minis--not even when I DM and not even for my own player characters unless I'm really motivated. No extra prep time, either. Whatever is taking up the non-fun time gets eliminated. In your case as in mine, those out-of-game emails have to be curtailed. Also, I gave a couple of campaigns nicknames to drive home my point. You might call yours The Blind Paladin Always Wins Campaign, or The Nobody Ever Dies Game; or just name it after that paladin character or the wizard NPC (but you may have missed the boat on that bitter nickname). Don't commit to do anything until after the paladin has committed or acted. All this should drive home the point of your dissatisfaction. Above all, make sure the GAME is more about PLAY than it is about WORK.
 

Ramien Meltides said:
It's not that the games are un-fun. It's just that I suspect I could be having MORE fun (specifically, in a game that suits my preferences better - i.e., knowledgeable players, a group of PCs who trust each other, and a DM who isn't afraid to get a little rat-bastardy).

If you leave your group, don't leave because you think there maybe might be a better one out there somewhere, leave because you're not enjoying the group you are in. It's unproductive to get into a mindset of always looking for something better, you forget to enjoy what you are doing now. It's like missing ALL the tv shows because you were channel surfing. Either you like the game you're in and want to keep playing, or you don't. Don't use your longing for some imaginary ideal group as an excuse to leave, if you really want to leave you probably don't need the excuse.
 

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