does a nice, shy, meek guy have a chance in hell?

[Starman]

Building self confidence is important, but it can be tough. I really struggled for a long time with it. You know what really helped me? Faking it. Seriously. I just started acting like I was totally confident about everything and anything. Inside I wasn't, but I wasn't showing anyone that. Eventually I started becoming more confident on the inside. I even had one person tell me that I'm intimidating because I'm so confident. It was more than faking it, of course, but it helped me out. Maybe it will work for you, too.

 

[glass]

I am in the same boat (29, single, hopeless romantic). I have faith that I will not live my life w/o someone to share my love with.

I am also 29 and also single. It's getting crowded in this boat!


glass.

 

[Warrior Poet]

I live in a horrible little town in Pennsylvania. An anime club wouldnt do very well around here. And I dont really like anime beyond Tenchi. There isnt even a game store anywhere near here. Hell, book stores dont last more than a year in this town.

Have you thought about moving? Sometimes it can help give you new perspective/new start on life if you change your environment. I don't know about you, but any town that can't keep a bookstore alive would kill me, so I'd move (but that's just me). Lots of space out there, lots to see, lots of people in that space to meet . . . .

Warrior Poet

 

[Rel]

Aaron, what is it that you do with your time? If you don't have a job or friends or girlfriend and such, how do you spend your days and nights (aside from going out and drinking). I'm not asking this to be nasty or make you feel bad but I know that I get depressed when I start to have too much time for too long (I'm self employed and too much free time means my company isn't generating much money).

 

[Desdichado]

I agree. I'm not self-employed, but my job often has me sitting chained to a desk with little to do.

When I have too much free time and not anything to spend it on, I end up wasting away my days posting on message boards, but I also end up feeling kinda useless and lame. Bored = depressed, at least for me.

If you don't have one already, get a hobby that you can indulge in whenever, that's not dependent on anyone else. Mini painting, for instance, or working out, or ...I dunno, something. Something that you feel a real sense of accomplishment from working on.

 

[fusangite]

I live in a horrible little town in Pennsylvania. An anime club wouldnt do very well around here. And I dont really like anime beyond Tenchi. There isnt even a game store anywhere near here. Hell, book stores dont last more than a year in this town.

Why do you live there? Your pension is mobile throughout the state, right?

 

[Rel]

If you don't have one already, get a hobby that you can indulge in whenever, that's not dependent on anyone else. Mini painting, for instance, or working out, or ...I dunno, something. Something that you feel a real sense of accomplishment from working on.

Actually my suggestion would be to find some kind of volunteer work that isn't too hard on the back. I think that helping other people is a lot more of a confidence builder and (by definition) social activity than doing anything for yourself. Might as well put some of Aaron's greatest asset (niceness) to work making other people's day and life a little better. That's really the environment in which that attribute shines brightest and seems least out of place and (potentially for women that he'd encounter) off-putting and clingy.

Someplace like a nursing home might be perfect. It is full of two things: People who need a little help and NURSES.

 

[Infiniti2000]

Might take you up on that.

fusangite, from what I've seen, LostSoul is definitely someone you want in your gaming group. He's an especially good DM, too, putting the Evil back into the BBEG. This assumes that he's the same one I'm thinking about -- i.e. who gave up on his campaign log! Arggh!

 

[Infiniti2000]

Someplace like a nursing home might be perfect. It is full of two things: People who need a little help and NURSES.

Definitely not. Having worked as a dietary aid in a nursing home while in high school, I can guarantee you that this is not a good idea. You have one chance in maybe a hundred thousand of finding a suitable woman there, and then the atmosphere of the place will totally remove any romantic attitudes. Go to a hospital instead.

 

[Desdichado]

Someplace like a nursing home might be perfect. It is full of two things: People who need a little help and NURSES.

?

But yeah, that's a good idea too. Anything to give you a sense of accomplishment, and usually helping someone else is more effective in that regard. Plus you get to meet people. That's usually a plus.