Faux pas - putting your worst foot forward

[Belen]

So back in law school I come in at the middle of a conversation where one of my friends is telling this story about how this woman gave up doing lab research on animals and switched careers after having a dream where St. Francis of Assissi told her to stop and she took it as an actual visitation and message from the saint. I laughed thinking it was a funny story. I don't remember if I made a comment about my thoughts on such a belief but I think I said something about my amusement at the story. Dead silence and my friend looks at me hurt and angry. I didn't realize it was his wife who he had been talking about and that it was not intended as a story with any amusement aspects to it.

Ouch.....double ouch...

 

[Belen]

In high school, this chick told me that a friend of mine was sleeping with his brother's fiance. (I did not know that he has just broken up with her.) Like an idiot, I asked him about it in public with said fiance in the same American History class as us.

Silence.

The next day, I receive a call from her 8 foot tall troll-like fiance.

It was not pretty, not pretty at all.

Never listen to bitter chicks.

 

[Joshua Randall]

The next day, I receive a call from her 8 foot tall troll-like fiance.

Hmm, is that some kind of template? 'Cuz I've never fought one of those before.

 

[sniffles]

Not liking the smurfs is a smurfing crime! That's like not liking giant fighting robots, or not liking the Muppets! It's Un-American!

I guess I'm unAmerican then.
But I love the Muppets.

I commit social faux pas all the time now. I had part of my lower intestine removed and then went through chemo, and now I burp all the time. Really loudly. No control whatsoever.

"Hey, did you see CSI last night? I liked the part where 'braaaaaaaappp!' - Oh, sorry."

 

[I'm A Banana]

I guess I'm unAmerican then.
But I love the Muppets.

There is hope for you yet!

Now, you're going to be visited by some men in suits, wearing sunglasses. Don't resist them. They're going to take you to a nice place, with good people, and you will learn to like the smurfs...yeeeessssss.....

BTW, I seem to remember the creator of the smurfs was some northern-european artist..

 

[Voadam]

Ouch.....double ouch...

Yeah, I felt really bad and apologized immediately when somebody (I can't remember if it was my wife or him) explained the situation to me. Going from having a good time with friends to realizing I had ignorantly kicked my friend in the gut emotionally and laughed in his face while insulting his wife was not my finest moment. Saying "What? Oh crap I'm sorry!" was pretty much all I could think of at the time.

 

[Rel]

Yeah, I felt really bad and apologized immediately when somebody (I can't remember if it was my wife or him) explained the situation to me. Going from having a good time with friends to realizing I had ignorantly kicked my friend in the gut emotionally and laughed in his face while insulting his wife was not my finest moment. Saying "What? Oh crap I'm sorry!" was pretty much all I could think of at the time.

No, no. See what you should have done is "rolled with it". When he gives you that cold, hard stare, you just say...

"Hehe, well, you gotta admit man, that's pretty bizarre."

*more cold, hard stare*

"Chicks like that are k-razy man!" *laugh*

*more cold, hard stare*

"But those crazy chicks are hot in the sack dude!" *punch friend lightly in the shoulder* "You lucky dog!"

*coldest, hardest stare in history*

"Anyway...I gotta run. So you guys have a great afternoon." *give wink & gun to friend* "And you and that crazy wife of yours have fun TONIGHT!"


Then run. It's really quite simple.

Anybody who says you can't run from your problems just isn't running fast enough.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Reminds me of an old joke:

A guest at a manor home in England was enjoying a nice dinner with the host and other gentry from neighboring areas. After dinner, all repaired to the smoking room for cigars and libations. Feeling a bit "confident" after the dinner wine and his second brandy, the guest decided to impress his host with his knowledge and recognition of British history. He approached what he thought was a marble bust of Queen Victoria and remarked that "She was a stately and remarkable woman, if not particularly attractive."

To which the host replied, "That's my mother."

An uncomfortable silence followed. Then the guest said, "Do you have a revolver in the house?"

Warrior Poet

 

[billd91]

He approached what he thought was a marble bust of Queen Victoria and remarked that "She was a stately and remarkable woman, if not particularly attractive."

To which the host replied, "That's my mother."

An uncomfortable silence followed. Then the guest said, "Do you have a revolver in the house?"

Warrior Poet

It's too bad more people aren't as witty as Oscar Wilde and Bernard Shaw as portrayed by the Monty Python gang.

"His Majesty is rather like a stream of bat piss."
"What!?!"
"One of Shaw's, sire."
"You bastards. Uh, Ahem... What I meant was His Majesty shines out like a shaft of gold when all around is in darkness."

 

[reveal]

I was alwaya partial to Kids in the Hall.

Scene is inside of a bar at a golf club (the 19th hole).

Kevin McDonald walks in with a golf bag and puts it down. Dave Foley is sitting at a table drinking.

Dave: Nice day out today.

Kevin: Sure is.

Dave: How'd you shoot?

Kevin: 1 over. You?

Dave: Me? Oh no, I hate golf. Hate the people who play it even more.

Kevin: Then why did you just ask me how my game was?

Dave: Cuz I'm no good at small talk, ya prick.