Feeling bad or emotional problems - Play less or more?

[SnowleopardVK]

Actually it's not so easy to take these kinds of problems to your friends. Because all they're likely going to say are things like "It's all in your head" or just won't want to hear it. Like friends telling their friends who suffer from clinical depression to just "get over it".

They may be trying to be helpful, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Very good point. I've had experience with this issue.

Due to arguments, fighting, stubbornness, and stuff like that I've spent the past few years having a very unstable relationship with my parents. I'm just now managing to get over it, and I'm only managing to do it by cutting ties with them completely, going on government support while I finish university, and supporting myself after that.

A good number of my friends don't really understand the stress and emotional problems the situation brings up, especially because I try not to trouble them with it. Many give the unhelpful "get over it" advice, some don't understand that a person and their family aren't obligated to love each other and say I should try to fix things with my parents. It's advice like that that makes me not want to socialize with them while I'm in a bad place.

On the other hand there are a few friends of mine who understand. Most of those have gone through depression, and a few don't like their own family (maybe not to the degree of hate that I have for mine, but it's still something we can agree on). Those friends are the people I truly love, they're the ones who I want to socialize with when I'm depressed because just being with them reminds me that things aren't all bad, and as it happens they're the ones I game with.

So this was just my personal opinion on it. I like gaming when I'm depressed because the people I game with are the people I love. If they were just people that I liked, or worse, people I didn't really like then I probably wouldn't want to game when depressed. I'd want to be doing whatever the people I love were doing so that I could be with them.

 

[CuRoi]

Over the years I've gamed in tough situations. In some cases, it was worth it to "stick it out", in others it was a bad idea.

I've told the story before, but once I was running a game and the owner of the house we were at informed me we might have to quit early because his wife's dad was in the hospital literally on his death bed. I was concerned andtold him we coudl put the game off until later, he insisted it wasn't necessary. By the time the wife came in the room bawling, I asked her directly if there's was anythign we coudl do and offered to leave. She also said having people around was a good for her. It was just too hard for me to run a game thinkign of her father and with the pain of her sobbing on her husband's shoulder.

By the time the mother-in-law came over to spend the night straight from the hospital, I just apologized and packed up and left at that point. Several of the players also agreed it was a bit past time to pack it in and let the family deal with their grief in privacy. (The father in law recovered by the way, so it was ultimately a good thing - just way past my level of gaming awkwardness and I was relatively new to the group.)

Prior to that a childhood friend of mine had been diagnosed with cancer shortly after I got back in touch with him. He lived out of state, but I started driving out to pick him up and bring him to our weekly DnD game. Those were some tough games to run, and I even got in an argument with him once during the game just out of sheer stress. Anyway, it was entirely worth it because he made some new friends and I got to spend a little more time with him. Good times, good memories.

So, sometimes when things are tough in your life, you probably should set gaming aside. Other times, it's worth it to hang out with friends and put the pains of life aside for a bit.

 

[Celebrim]

I'd be very uncomfortable knowing as a DM that I was being relied on to provide mental theraphy. The job is too close to amateur psychology experiment as it is. Granted, many psychologists are quacks IME and granted sometimes what is really missing is the sort of safe social interaction, group acceptance, and relaxation that an RPG can provide, but looking at it to cure emotional problems beyond boredom or feelings of isolation is probably asking too much of your DM. Actually seeing your fantasy escapist entertainment focused role play as a form of therapy is probably asking for trouble. The problem isn't so much that its nothing like therapy, as it is that its too much like it.

The best RPG groups are good friends, and good friends know that there is a time to game and there is a time to do other things. Sometimes its better to schedule a different activity in place of your gaming. Sometimes you need to be there in a role other than gaming buddy. And if you are really struggling, and your RPG group isn't the sort that you'd feel comfortable talking about it with, find someone who does.