I find I don't do nearly enough of either NPC-creation or crypt-mapping these days. And it's not just time, I'll often waste hours posting on Internet bulletin boards!
Feeling bad or emotional problems - Play less or more?
- Thread starter Jon_Dahl
- Start date
I find I don't do nearly enough of either NPC-creation or crypt-mapping these days. And it's not just time, I'll often waste hours posting on Internet bulletin boards!
I've never had the feeling "I don't feel happy today, I'll skip the D&D game!" which I think is what the OP is referring to. I guess I find playing D&D a lot less socially demanding than attending a dinner party or other social gathering where I'm expected to be my (best) self. As a player you roll dice, kill monsters, maybe make the occasional witty quip - what's not to like?
RedTonic
First Post
I think that is probably a key part of the difference. Personally, I find socializing draining instead of invigorating, regardless of whether I enjoy the social experience. The "next day" experience for me is akin to a hangover (which is funny, because I've only had one alcohol-induced hangover, ever), complete with headache and fatigue.
I used to be an introvert in denial, but now I embrace my hermit nature and I'm happier to have regularly scheduled social engagements--and I find that I therefore skip fewer of them.
G
Guest 85555
Guest
I find I don't do nearly enough of either NPC-creation or crypt-mapping these days. And it's not just time, I'll often waste hours posting on Internet bulletin boards!
Boards can eat up your time for sure. I try to limit my time spend posting in forums, and generally avoid heated debates (which you can spend hours on without realizing it) for this reason.
Aberzanzorax
Hero
The simple answer is that "it's complicated."
Depression often leads to a cycle where people will withdraw, which will cause them to become more depressed, which will lead to further withdrawal. The initial "treatment" for depression is to encourage patients to force themselves to engage in activities (particularly exercise or activities that involve social interaction) even when they don't feel like it. This helps break that cycle.
But that's depression, and it also isn't necessarily roleplaying as the activity. For some, roleplaying is mentally taxing (depression can slow your ability to make decisions). For some, roleplaying is emotional (depression can blunt your emotions). It might not be the best choice for a person who is depressed.
Grief and mourning (which need not be tied to death--could be a breakup, could be mourning the loss of a brother's sanity) are another matter. They are sometimes related to depression (can trigger depression, or can be more a more common response in someone already depressed), but not always. Sometimes people who are grieving need time alone, they need to come to terms with what they are grieving, and to move on. Taking time away to actually deal with the problem (for instance to think about it, what it means to your life, how you're going to move forward) even if crying and feeling sad during the process can be a very healthy way to resolve it.
Then there is stress. Stress can be caused by both negative events and positive ones. A person who is at capacity for stress might not feel they can handle a positive stressful event. They might need time to destress which can be in the form of a nap, a soothing bath, time reading, etc. I could imagine a person very excited about and enjoying the planning of their upcoming wedding, but also overwhelmed. For them, going to a gaming group, interacting, doing math, etc. might just put them over the top...and they might need a break where they can just shut down.
And, of course, there is the possibility of all three of these, as well as additional factors coming to play all at the same time.
But, more specifically, and personally...yeah, I usually would rather game when I'm bummed out than not game. But to each his own, and I don't know if I'd be as inclined to game if a major event had recently happened as if I just was feeling sad.
In response to rpgs being a great way to distract yourself, that's true for some. For others, they remain focused on their problem and are distracted from playing...and may find another activity a better distraction. Also, sometimes distraction is not the ideal way for a person to work through their emotions, as I've outlined above.
There ARE unhelpful and even harmful ways of dealing with emotions, and there are people who instinctively try to resolve things in ways that are not effective. However, unless you know what's really going on, and unless you know what is healthy and what isn't it's best not to judge, and sometimes not even helpful to give advice.
Often friends will give the exact opposite advice of a trained professional in an attempt to be helpful, because they are personally invested, because they don't know what is actually the most healthy way to resolve an issue, or because they don't fully understand the issue.
Depression often leads to a cycle where people will withdraw, which will cause them to become more depressed, which will lead to further withdrawal. The initial "treatment" for depression is to encourage patients to force themselves to engage in activities (particularly exercise or activities that involve social interaction) even when they don't feel like it. This helps break that cycle.
But that's depression, and it also isn't necessarily roleplaying as the activity. For some, roleplaying is mentally taxing (depression can slow your ability to make decisions). For some, roleplaying is emotional (depression can blunt your emotions). It might not be the best choice for a person who is depressed.
Grief and mourning (which need not be tied to death--could be a breakup, could be mourning the loss of a brother's sanity) are another matter. They are sometimes related to depression (can trigger depression, or can be more a more common response in someone already depressed), but not always. Sometimes people who are grieving need time alone, they need to come to terms with what they are grieving, and to move on. Taking time away to actually deal with the problem (for instance to think about it, what it means to your life, how you're going to move forward) even if crying and feeling sad during the process can be a very healthy way to resolve it.
Then there is stress. Stress can be caused by both negative events and positive ones. A person who is at capacity for stress might not feel they can handle a positive stressful event. They might need time to destress which can be in the form of a nap, a soothing bath, time reading, etc. I could imagine a person very excited about and enjoying the planning of their upcoming wedding, but also overwhelmed. For them, going to a gaming group, interacting, doing math, etc. might just put them over the top...and they might need a break where they can just shut down.
And, of course, there is the possibility of all three of these, as well as additional factors coming to play all at the same time.
But, more specifically, and personally...yeah, I usually would rather game when I'm bummed out than not game. But to each his own, and I don't know if I'd be as inclined to game if a major event had recently happened as if I just was feeling sad.
In response to rpgs being a great way to distract yourself, that's true for some. For others, they remain focused on their problem and are distracted from playing...and may find another activity a better distraction. Also, sometimes distraction is not the ideal way for a person to work through their emotions, as I've outlined above.
There ARE unhelpful and even harmful ways of dealing with emotions, and there are people who instinctively try to resolve things in ways that are not effective. However, unless you know what's really going on, and unless you know what is healthy and what isn't it's best not to judge, and sometimes not even helpful to give advice.
Often friends will give the exact opposite advice of a trained professional in an attempt to be helpful, because they are personally invested, because they don't know what is actually the most healthy way to resolve an issue, or because they don't fully understand the issue.
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My experience is with longtime depression.
To me, all the things that can make you feel a little better when you are down becomes much, much more important, such as e.g. comfort eating and, yes, comfort gaming. It cuts both ways, though. The gaming highs are higher and the good spots are more important, but the lows are also much lower.
You also become a worse player; when things don't go your way, it's much harder to express your needs and wants. Often, when there is a difference in opinion, it can be worked out by just communicating, and minor setbacks can be bridged by talking to the DM and the other players. When you are depressed, these can turn into insurmountable obstacles, pushing you into that downwards spiral of self doubt, self loathing and lack of drive and initiative that is always a danger with depressions. You feel bad due to what's happening at the gaming table, but it's absolutely impossible to open your mouth and say something about it.
Depressions are quite nasty too; you don't really ever get totally free from them - you just learn to live with them...
To me, all the things that can make you feel a little better when you are down becomes much, much more important, such as e.g. comfort eating and, yes, comfort gaming. It cuts both ways, though. The gaming highs are higher and the good spots are more important, but the lows are also much lower.
You also become a worse player; when things don't go your way, it's much harder to express your needs and wants. Often, when there is a difference in opinion, it can be worked out by just communicating, and minor setbacks can be bridged by talking to the DM and the other players. When you are depressed, these can turn into insurmountable obstacles, pushing you into that downwards spiral of self doubt, self loathing and lack of drive and initiative that is always a danger with depressions. You feel bad due to what's happening at the gaming table, but it's absolutely impossible to open your mouth and say something about it.
Depressions are quite nasty too; you don't really ever get totally free from them - you just learn to live with them...
Ulrick
First Post
About five years ago I used to game three times a week. I ran two games and played in a third, and then had the occasional tabletop miniature wargaming on top of that.
This was during a time of my life when I worked at a terrible job for little money, had few friends away from the gaming table, and basically had few prospects in life because I struggled with depression. There wasn't any kind of specific catalyst for this, but I knew I was in trouble.
The gaming was an important distraction. It gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, particularly since I GMed twice a week, I had an obligation to my players.
But as Tuft said, "the gaming highs are higher and the good spots are more important, but the lows are also much lower." So when the games were good, they were really good. But if they were bad... oh man, the depression got worse. Because I would think: "Why do I bother playing if its this bad? I should have been doing something more constructive."
The gaming also gave me some distance from my problems. But after about six months of playing constantly, I knew I had to make some changes and deal with the real causes of the depression (the bad job, living conditions, few friends outside of gaming, etc, etc.). As I dealt with these, I gamed less in part because a better job took more of my time.
Now I game maybe once a week, and run every other week. I've just got too many other commitments besides gaming.
So, in my experience gaming was a welcome distraction. But... I eventually had to deal with my problems to get out of the rut I was in.
This was during a time of my life when I worked at a terrible job for little money, had few friends away from the gaming table, and basically had few prospects in life because I struggled with depression. There wasn't any kind of specific catalyst for this, but I knew I was in trouble.
The gaming was an important distraction. It gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, particularly since I GMed twice a week, I had an obligation to my players.
But as Tuft said, "the gaming highs are higher and the good spots are more important, but the lows are also much lower." So when the games were good, they were really good. But if they were bad... oh man, the depression got worse. Because I would think: "Why do I bother playing if its this bad? I should have been doing something more constructive."
The gaming also gave me some distance from my problems. But after about six months of playing constantly, I knew I had to make some changes and deal with the real causes of the depression (the bad job, living conditions, few friends outside of gaming, etc, etc.). As I dealt with these, I gamed less in part because a better job took more of my time.
Now I game maybe once a week, and run every other week. I've just got too many other commitments besides gaming.
So, in my experience gaming was a welcome distraction. But... I eventually had to deal with my problems to get out of the rut I was in.
the Jester
Legend
If I'm bummed out, escapism is a great way to, er, escape whatever is bumming me out.
EXCEPTION: The cause is the game, a player or the gm.
EXCEPTION: The cause is the game, a player or the gm.
frankthedm
First Post
Less. I'm a horror fan and play games to escape to a world worse than the real world, where survival against the horrors of the setting are an achievement. My entertainment tastes make our world seem a brighter place. If something is actually bumming me out, I'll be finding something else to do.
"Doing something constructive"? Try "things go so bad for me because I am such bad player, and people don't listen to me because I am such a dislikable person, and I cannot do anything right, and... and..."
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