Game session abruptly canceled

[Voadam]

Speaking as a parent, piling two small child into the car, driving an hour, keeping them up past their bed time, then driving them an hour back home, does not sound like a "fun time." That's a totally valid reason to say, "Sorry, see you in a couple of weeks."

The short notice sucks, but they were hoping to make it, but childcare plans did not happen.

That's a totally valid reason to say, "No, sorry its not going to work if we can't get a sitter" from the beginning when the OP suggested that if they didn't get a sitter it would be fine to bring the kids along with them. It would be a valid reason to say "OK" at first but then call later after coming to that conclusion and say "On second thought, its not going to work if we don't get a sitter, sorry." Instead they said "OK" and never said otherwise until the OP called them to find out if they had a sitter or would be bringing the kids with them when they came.

 

[pawsplay]

So why did they seemingly agree to bring the kids?

They agreed they were invited to bring the kids, which is not quite the same thing.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

They agreed they were invited to bring the kids, which is not quite the same thing.

Yeah right. If they tried that on me they would have heard the last of me. That's not even the excuse of an excuse.

 

[Lockridge]

Hi folks,
I was planning not to post in this thread anymore with the attitude of "they'll learn". I feel it necessary however to address a disturbing trend that I'm seeing in this thread.

Many of you, I suspect, play with FRIENDS, not acquintences. Also, I suspect that many of you are either young in age or do not have kids. I'm sorry if I'm labelling but bear with me.

Many posters are stating that the parents are to blame for this situation and that the OP should go find new people to play with. Much of this blame looks as though its manufactured based on negative assumptions of the circumstances and motives of the parents. In some of your posts the parents appear uncaring and even demonized.

I warn you all not to go down the path of excluding your friends from games based on their family obligations (many posters have interpreted these obligations as failures). I would hope that your friends are more than just D&D buddies. I know the people I play with are life-long friends who would stick their necks out for me if I needed it just as I would for them.

The idea that such friendships should end because of D&D is truly sad. The idea that someone who has played in a group of friends for years stops being called or invited to games once they have families is incomprehensible to me.

When the first couple in our group had a baby we knew that they would not be attending for a while and the rest of us worked around it. We gave them a couple of months and then we started playing exclusively at their house. When the second couple in our group had a baby we took some time off and then had the difficult decision of where to play. Each couple would try to take turns finding a babysitter or perhaps only one parent would show up. And in many instances they would cancel because of lack of a babysitter, sickness or some other reason.

At NO time would any of these friends be excluded from being invited, nor were they blamed if they couldn't make it. We knew that they WANTED to join the game but couldn't.

I know that you cannot imagine the demands of having and raising children if you don't already have children of your own (nephews, neices and babysitting DO NOT COUNT - sorry) but try to imagine having a completely unpredictable and powerful force in your life that can change the way you feel in a minute. Replace the word "child" with "migraine headache" (not too far off). Just try to imagine your frustration - you want to keep in contact with your friends - you want to keep playing the game you love. But you can't always do it. Then imagine your friends giving up on you. Calls and emails start to slow to a stop. Friends you've known for years just stop...

So I say: Don't let your friends drop out of your life just because they move on with theirs. Life changes. Not accepting that will leave you very lonely.

 

[boerngrim]

Update

Well, M and I have talked and made our peace. M is an EnWorlder and has been reading the thread. Being able to work this out in this forum has really helped me . Thank you to all of you. I figured that fellow gamers were the only ones who could understand the situation from both points of view.

I did overreact. I did and do appologise for and regret that. I think that he agrees that we both were wrong to get nasty in the callback.
I truly believe I would not have been angry if we had an understnding that no sitter = no session to begin with.

This isn't my first time gaming with people who have kids, or having a parent bring kids to the session. Although it is the first instance of both parents playing. I really do accept that the kids come first. I really do understand that taking the kids anywhere can be a major pain in the rear. I didn't think it was unreasonable to ask for the concession of playing at my place this one time, since we'd played at their home the last year and a half to two years. I understand that if one of the kids is sick all bets are off. I do understand that with kids generally speaking you never know. We play at M & K's house primarily for that reason, and also because I want to include both M & K.

The situation with the pet tending was that I had to drive 30 minutes in the opposite direction to tend the pets, 2 birds, 2 dogs and a cat. The dogs being let out to potty being the only real time constraint. So having the session at my place with the kids was my idea of meeting halfway. I figured we could get together and get some gaming in for a few hours between the dog's potty breaks. I figured wrong. I'll know better if it comes up again.

My place is fairly kid friendly and safe. One or both of my parents would have been there, we are upstairs downstairs neighbors in a two appartment house. They don't usually miss an opportunity to see their great grandkids. There's a pretty decent pile of playschool toys and the little kid friendly star wars toys, but true it's not home. The kids do seem to enjoy visiting there, but we haven't tried to game there with both kids either.

Anyway live and learn right?
Thanks

 

[Ourph]

Well, M and I have talked and made our peace.

Hey, that's great! Glad to hear it.

 

[ShadowDenizen]

Well, glad we could provide some (relatively!! ) neutral perspective.
It would suck to lose friendships over something so trivial in the grand scheme of things!

 

[Hypersmurf]

5. NEVER get kids involved with gaming.

Hey! My parents took us to all their D&D games. That's how I got started!

-Hyp.

 

[Blood Jester]

Sorry dude. My jaw is still on the floor. Stop kicking it will ya?
Dinner plans or a D&D game - It don't matter.

As for your comment about a child being a child. Wow. Just wow. I'm not even going to argue. I really wouldn't know where to start. How do you tell a blind man what a color is? And your comment about the "human race". Again wow. Humans reproduce. I think all the parents out here who have raised kids have a big giant smirk on their face right now.

Wow. Ok, I'm going to go try to catch that jaw. Once I have it I'll be back to observe with that big giant smirk.

You are assuming I do not have children?

Funny.

 

[Herobizkit]

At least he isn't a libertarian raccoon...Cheers, -- N

You mean a libertanuki?