Gaming and orgies don't mix

[Torm]

What really strikes me as odd is that, in general, people seem to have less of a problem with "swingers" - who generally admit what they're doing isn't strictly speaking right, but, "hey, take it easy, baby" - than they do with people who try to be responsible and have the strength of their convictions that they are doing what is right, but differ with them on dogma. I kinda get it, but it is still weird.

 

[Mark Chance]

What really strikes me as odd is that, in general, people seem to have less of a problem with "swingers" - who generally admit what they're doing isn't strictly speaking right, but, "hey, take it easy, baby" - than they do with people who try to be responsible and have the strength of their convictions that they are doing what is right, but differ with them on dogma. I kinda get it, but it is still weird.

Didn't you get the memo? If you love, honor, and respect your spouse in a "traditional" (gotta put that word in quotes since it's a bad word) manner, then you're close-minded and quite probably, worst of all, judgmental (the root of all modern deadly sins). Before too long, such "traditional" behavior has people running around using "he" and "men" as generic terms in their writing (As in, "If a person is reasonsable, he believes in the unalienable rights of all men.")

 

[Torm]

Didn't you get the memo? If you love, honor, and respect your spouse in a "traditional" (gotta put that word in quotes since it's a bad word) manner, then you're close-minded and quite probably, worst of all, judgmental (the root of all modern deadly sins). Before too long, such "traditional" behavior has people running around using "he" and "men" as generic terms in their writing (As in, "If a person is reasonsable, he believes in the unalienable rights of all men.")

Not that I have any problem with the "traditional" (but non-abusive) man/woman relationship - not at all! But while all of what you said DOES apply to me, you might not want to be so quick to lump me in with tradition - scroll back to my two posts previous to the one you responded to. Then again, I guess I AM traditional - a tradition that reaches back in some ways to before 1 CE, actually.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Not that I have any problem with the "traditional" (but non-abusive) man/woman relationship - not at all! But while all of what you said DOES apply to me, you might not want to be so quick to lump me in with tradition - scroll back to my two posts previous to the one you responded to. Then again, I guess I AM traditional - a tradition that reaches back in some ways to before 1 CE, actually.

It all depends on who's POV about what is "tradition"....

 

[DaveStebbins]

Didn't you get the memo? If you love, honor, and respect your spouse in a "traditional" (gotta put that word in quotes since it's a bad word) manner, then you're close-minded and quite probably, worst of all, judgmental (the root of all modern deadly sins). Before too long, such "traditional" behavior has people running around using "he" and "men" as generic terms in their writing (As in, "If a person is reasonsable, he believes in the unalienable rights of all men.")

While I can appreciate the dry sense of humor (well-done, Mark ), I stand behind my conviction that the proportion of people who are close-minded and judgemental is much higher, IME, among traditional-minded people than among those who espouse alternative life-styles. I am not saying that such attitudes are a majority among traditionals (I'm a traditional myself), just that they occur more often. If my previous posts gave a different impression, I apologize for being unclear.

-Dave

 

[Darth K'Trava]

While I can appreciate the dry sense of humor (well-done, Mark ), I stand behind my conviction that the proportion of people who are close-minded and judgemental is much higher, IME, among traditional-minded people than among those who espouse alternative life-styles. I am not saying that such attitudes are a majority among traditionals (I'm a traditional myself), just that they occur more often. If my previous posts gave a different impression, I apologize for being unclear.

-Dave

Dave: I don't practice any sort of "alternative lifestyle". In fact, I had to tell a certain poster here "no" on something along his alternative lifestyle that we'd discussed in private email. But that doesn't mean that I'm "close-minded". I have a friend who'd fall into THAT category.... Just because I don't believe it's right, doesn't mean I'm gonna hold that judgment against them. There's nothing wrong with being different. Nothing at all.

 

[Acquana]

Er ... wait ... What year is this?

I'm not too surprised. Haven't really had this bad of a thing happen, but I've heard of some stuff.

On the other hand, I believe we have lost 4 or 5 women from role playing groups for sexual or sexual related issues. This is the primary reason that in my game, we currently have no women.

First off, get over yourself.

Second off, he does not intend to go back to that group. Third, none of them read ENworld, so it's a non-issue, and even if it was, he wouldn't have shared the experience with the rest of his group.

Lastly, I already addressed the subject of this thread with Emperess. I suggest you go back and read that response.

[Initiating Attack Womb Sequence] So wait ... lemme get this straight ... It's the mere fact that women game that causes this to happen? Not anything particularly dealing with the moral makeup or personal issues of said groups? Just the ovaries? Uh ... huh.

In your defense, I suppose where the aspect of sex is involved (hetero or no), human instinct takes over ... but um ... that's everywhere. Work, school, gaming, whatever. Isn't it a bit archaic to blame females in general for this? Would this even be a problem if the guys just ... I dunno ... refused? Or said that the table wasn't the place?

I'm familiar with how often couples are made or broken in LARPS, in the one I played in briefly there were what were known as SOLAR Sluts. Chicks who only seemed to go the games to get some. But ain't it funny how the responsibility always lies with the chick? Wasn't there some other partnet involved ...?

It has to do with female gamers only in the sense that sometimes sexual issues can come up in the game, and this was a very clear example of that. Obviously, I suppose a guy could hit on another guy, but I would think that would be more rare. It's just an interesting story. Nothing more.

Yeah ... and there were a good chunk of gay guys at those LARPS too. Too bad I never heard of any SOLAR Man-whores.

If I could actually audibly roll my eyes you'd hear it over the internet. [/Attack Womb Power Down]

 

[Timeboxer]

In addition, because of the way people put thoughts together, since the shooter is a man, the automatic gender assumption becomes male for any neuter nouns following.

I have to admit that I think that "automatic gender assumption" is learned, not innate. (Although it's really really hard to unlearn.)

 

[Timeboxer]

Since the topic has come up, my wife and I are faithful polygynists - not swingers, but we have dated the occasional woman (3, actually, in 13 years) together, before, with the intent of her coming to live with us as family.

Probably totally unrelated to the thread, but I'm on Torm's side of the fence, too. >.> Though I usually just call it "polyamory," as I'm somewhat "eh" about the idea of traditional marriage as it's nowadays constructed. Not that I've ever been able to actually put this into practice, but.

There, that wasn't ordinary, was it?

 

[fusangite]

I have to agree with those who have observed that this is not about people's sex or gender; it is about their social behaviour. Negative social dynamics can be created in games when people place another social agenda, be it sex or something else ahead of the group's collective enjoyment of the game. If some of the people I'm gaming with are part of some relationship pyramid scheme, I'm indifferent. If they use the game to recruit people for their scheme, I'm going to be as annoyed as if they use the game to demonstrate Amway.

That stated, of all social behaviours, sexual behaviours are more likely to unbalance or damage a social dynamic than are many others.