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We have posted some rules on fake promotional posts.
Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within
- Thread starter megamania
- Start date
Aeson
Adventurer
I listened to portion of an interview with astronaut Jim Lovell as he talked about orbiting the moon and seeing Earth first time. He could hold his thumb up and hide the whole planet. He thought about the 5 billion people, and everything he knew just being behind his thumb.
It had to be surreal. I often think about wanting to go to space. Looking back, could handle what I was seeing?
It had to be surreal. I often think about wanting to go to space. Looking back, could handle what I was seeing?
trappedslider
Adventurer
well, i finished the promposal section for my story..if any of you care to read it and leave comments https://docs.google.com/document/d/1q_GGoqL2MWkJqYbdzdffSiBC6K4I0xrHpnr9TfnkYWA/edit?usp=sharing
Aeson
Adventurer
I skipped around and looked at your notes at the end. I'm not sure they announce arriving flights like that, but I believe the announcement would use the whole location "Los Angeles, California" mainly because just using LA could be confusing to some like foriegn travelers. Also the line above it is missing the word one.
jonesy
A Wicked Kendragon
The phrase "subvert the expectations" has been thrown about a lot lately for a particular reason. I don't think I was ever quite sure what it meant, especially since my background is in information technologies where subversion refers to a very specific thing (by now 20 year old brand of version control software). Imagine my surprise when I finally realized that subversion means the same thing as the word overthrow. So, when I'm controlling the versions of my software using said system I'm literally overthrowing the previous administration. 
jonesy
A Wicked Kendragon
"Shoot Seth." sounds weird to me, even in the context it's said.
Aside from random spelling mistakes, it reads like one of those this-really-happened-to-me diary-style novels. Which isn't a bad thing if that's what you're going for.
Aeson
Adventurer
I watch response videos on YouTube often. Many are responses to flat earthers and conspiracy nuts. Why can't I meet these people IRL? I don't think they exist. It can't be possible that people actually think the earth is flat or an out of focus star is a space ship or the moon is a projection. I think the conspiracy is these people are actors so the responders can have content. It's all fake.
trappedslider
Adventurer
what spelling mistakes? Nothing is flagged for being spelled wrong.
jonesy
A Wicked Kendragon
Well, ignoring the question of when is a comma or semicolon missing or not (since that can be a story telling style decision):
- line 9: missing word "as" after word "smiled"
- line 17: personally I'd place a second "that" after the single one
- line 17: replace "mentaly" with "mentally"
- line 18: replace "need" with "needed" as otherwise the sentence has a time frame mixup
- third to last paragraph has the word "theartics"
trappedslider
Adventurer
here's what i love about google docs, you can flag things with a comment,instead of having to say line whatever,makes it so much easier for the writer. The last one easy to find since it was the last word.
Aeson
Adventurer
No one warned me when I took this job about all the kamikaze deer doing strafing runs across the street. So far I have avoided them I did have a young buck run in front of me tonight. He just ran full steam ahead. I have gotten into the habit of looking for others in the direction the deer came from.
megamania
Community Supporter
Aliens apologize. They would not have done that if they had known we were trying to free their POW from Area 51
Aeson
Adventurer
That's why I always look where the first one came from.