Head over heels for a girl.

[kenobi65]

Man, this is hard. We've all been there. Being sixteen is NOT a fun way to be.

No, it tends to not be...and it's probably even harder for many of us on these boards, given that gamers aren't always the most socially-adept critters on God's earth (lord knows I wasn't).

Ferret, when I was 16, I was in your shoes. There was this girl...Susan Burns. Pretty, smart, kind. She liked me as a friend (she wasn't terribly popular in school, either), but not beyond that. I carried a torch for Susan for years...from age 13 until age 20. We were always friends, I would repeatedly make nudging advances to make it something more, and would always be (graciously) rebuffed. I simply couldn't get it through my head that my feelings weren't being reciprocated.

So, what happened? I finally figured out that she was being honest with me, and I moved on. She eventually married someone else, as did I.

It's really hard, at 16, to believe that things can be different, or even better, when you're older, and that the heartbreak you're feeling now won't feel that way forever. All I can say is, trust me, you'll get over it.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Ferret, when I was 16, I was in your shoes. There was this girl...Susan Burns. Pretty, smart, kind. She liked me as a friend (she wasn't terribly popular in school, either), but not beyond that. I carried a torch for Susan for years...from age 13 until age 20. We were always friends, I would repeatedly make nudging advances to make it something more, and would always be (graciously) rebuffed. I simply couldn't get it through my head that my feelings weren't being reciprocated.

So, what happened? I finally figured out that she was being honest with me, and I moved on. She eventually married someone else, as did I.

It's really hard, at 16, to believe that things can be different, or even better, when you're older, and that the heartbreak you're feeling now won't feel that way forever. All I can say is, trust me, you'll get over it.

What is worse is the girl I carried a torch for from 16 to 21 was not really honest with me. She actually would go out with me for a time. We would break up, get together break up. Thanks to me "love" addeled brain, it took me years to figure out that she only went out with me when she had nobody better around.

Trust me Ferrett, what you are feeling isn't really love. Love actually has little fear. Now marriage, that has plenty of fear

 

[Dark Jezter]

This sort of thing makes me glad my teenage years are far behind me.

Ferret, I think every guy has been in your situation. I remember my first real big crush. Like yourself, I was sixteen years old and just starting to discover women. I had english with a sweet, pretty little thing named Melanie, and after knowing her for a few weeks I began to discover that I was thinking about her a lot. Not long after that, I'd managed to convince myself that I was in love with her.

Nothing ever came of it other than flirting (curse my teenaged shyness and insecurity). Looking back, though, I realize that I wasn't in love, just infatuated.

I wish you luck with this girl, but don't be too devastated if things don't work out: Those teenaged crushes can be real killers; they'll lead you to believe that you're in love when in reality your feelings are based mainly on a physical attraction.

 

[Pielorinho]

Nothing ever came of it other than flirting (curse my teenaged shyness and insecurity). Looking back, though, I realize that I wasn't in love, just infatuated

I don't know that I'd go that far: I do think that the emotion that teenagers feel isn't fairly characterized as "just" anything. On the contrary, it's an overwhelmingly intense emotion, made all the more intense by the lack of anything to compare it to.

Love is a fair word for it, but you have to remember that there are many types of love. Teenage crush love i
edit: Dammit, kitten that I am fostering, STOP RUNNING ACROSS THE KEYBOARD AND LET ME FINISH MY POST!

Teenage crush love is one of the more painful types, but it's also one of the more powerful, all-consuming types. You can respect that power even while recognizing that the best thing to do in this instance is not to pursue it.

Daniel

 

[Buttercup]

This sort of thing makes me glad my teenage years are far behind me.

Good lord, yes. I remember how intense all my feelings were at that age--it was like being a walking open wound.

Ferret, I imagine that you think you will never recover from this. You can't imagine things every being right again, being able to forget her, being able to move on. But it will get better!

 

[MrFilthyIke]

Good lord, yes. I remember how intense all my feelings were at that age--it was like being a walking open wound.

I like that line Buttercup.

 

[Thunderfoot]

Ferret - First off, I'm glad that you went out with her. It may or may not be the only time. I had a young lady that I was quite fond of of, she returned my gestures and I asked her out. She said no. Soon after, I found someone else and later married her (we just had our 17th anniversary BTW). Why do I tell you this. Two reasons

1) I later found out that when she found I had gotten married, she cried for a week. Why, she never got up the nerve to go out with me, because she was worried what her parents would think (she was a rich, smart girl and I was a "loser" musician) She actually did want to go out with me. However, she had no conviction - I was better off without her.

2) I found someone better. Someone who was real with me frm the beginning.

What advice do I offer - None. But I offer you some things to think on.

Are you totally different and what are her social habits, could she be stringing you along, or even embarrased that others mght think you are a couple?
Has she given you ANY other indication other than the fertive glances and long pauses before speaking that she MIGHT be interested in you?
Is this the first time you've EVER thought about a girl in this context before? (Your hormones are raging at the moment BTW)
What does she bring to the relationship other than being a trophy? (This isn't meant as derogitory - but more as food for thought.)

I also agree that Buttercup has spoken wisely and from the female perspective, but young girls too can have messed up feelings. BE VERY CAREFUL!!! You can and are liekly to make a mistake whatever you do. IT"S OK!!! it's called life and you will learn from it... and so will she.
Good luck, I'm glad I'm no longer 16....

 

[BOZ]

thunderfoot, i think you need to re-read ferret's posts...

 

[Kanegrundar]

Ferret, 99.9% of the time that a gal tells you that "it's not you, it's me" it's you. It likely isn't anything huge, although this obsessive side could swing my opinion the other way around, but there's something that she sees in you that she doesn't like in a boyfriend. I know it sucks, but pack it up, move on, and don't linger over it. There are many many more fish in the sea. Even if the fish aren't biting at the moment, just give it time and they will.

One more thing: there are few to no emotional wounds along these puppy love lines in your teenage years that will make it so that you can't love again. Just let this one go, and all that pain will pass.

 

[Tinner]

Dude, you're 16.
You shouldn't even be worried about love, and/or finding "THE girl."
What you should worry about is learning to be yourself, and be relaxed and comfortable around all kinds of girls.
Your teen years are all about learning experiences.
Chalk this girl up as a learning experience, and ask out someone else.
If this girl by some strange chance IS interested in you, seeing your confidence and maturity will impress her.
If she (most likely) isn't interested in you ... wel hey, you're on a date with another girl anyway, right?
Obsessing over this chick is just going to make you crazy, and creep her out.
If you run into her, and you honjestly are just going to the mall, then by all means, be friendly and mature and invite her to tag along.
But don't freak out and torture yourself coming up with schemes to get her back. That way lies madness and stupidity.

Remember, you're young. Date early, and date often.
Sixteen is a stupid age to look for commitment and faithfulness.
Try looking for someone fun to talk to who likes you for yourself.

Good luck!
I was an obsessed teenage dork once too!
Now I've been happily married for five years to a beautiful gamer girl.
Your turn will come, but you've got maybe 10 years of maturity, and emotional pain between then and now.
Ride out these relationship wrecks, and soon enough you'll get the hang of it.