Head over heels for a girl.

[Warrior Poet]

I do think TB's "don't take crap" and "be ready to fail" advice, though, is probably good advice for any relationship.

Yeah, this is key. It's part of why I suggested Ferret go out in the world and do some things for himself, and to reclaim the power over himself that he gave away. Self-possession is a big thing. If Ferret's comfortable with himself, confident in himself, then he's attractive (to plenty of people beyond this chick), and he's still cool if meeting someone fails, and can just move on.

Warrior Poet

 

[Warrior Poet]

girls like guys who irritate them. It gives them something to "fix." A perfectly nice person is no challenge, and therefore not worth having.

What's the old joke? A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change. A woman marries a man thinking he will.



Warrior Poet

 

[Teflon Billy]

Yeah, I know. I was trying to approach it from the angle that he's already in the "friend" stage, so just move on. Don't try and circle back around (or somehow backtrack) to the "more than friend" stage. Instead, achieve escape velocity and go meet other people. No reason he can't be polite (I said friendly; should have clarified), but polite as in just being decent to another human being, not polite as in "polite will make her want me/polite is my modus operandi to becoming her boyfriend." Because I don't think he should try to get her as a girlfriend, I think he should forget her and move on. Life's too short.

Warrior Poet

Ahh. Points taken

 

[DaveMage]

Wait, wait....

I have the answer.

Ferret needs to go on a date with Teflon Billy.

 

[Kanegrundar]

Entering the Friend Zone is the easiest way never to get any action with a chick. I firmly believe that.

 

[fusangite]

In the same vein (and I think I've thought it through this time), girls like guys who irritate them. It gives them something to "fix." I don't agree that you have to be a real jerk, but when looking for relationships, girls have a love/hate relationship with being irritated. A perfectly nice person is no challenge, and therefore not worth having.

Clearly it's not the whole story, though. Otherwise the women in my seminars would all constittue solid dating opportunities.

 

[DaveMage]

In the same vein (and I think I've thought it through this time), girls like guys who irritate them. It gives them something to "fix." I don't agree that you have to be a real jerk, but when looking for relationships, girls have a love/hate relationship with being irritated. A perfectly nice person is no challenge, and therefore not worth having.

I think it boils down to women/girls like to be challenged by men/boys, as opposed to fawned over.

 

[Teflon Billy]

I hate to contradict the World's Handsomest Gamer (TM) --

Quoted cause I love seeing it in print

But game playing is an important first step in establishing a relationship. Some people won't go any further until you demonstrate that you are adept at playing.

See, you aren't really contradicting me at all.

The line that inevitably comes up in these threads is "Jerks get the Girl, but nice guys get the Wife" or something to that effect.

and it's always worth pointing out how wrong that is...

"Jerks get the girl, and can decide how to proceed from there" comes a lot closer to the truth in my experience.

I know -- psychobable.

Naw, I've seen your wife. You've done something right

I do think TB's "don't take crap" and "be ready to fail" advice, though, is probably good advice for any relationship.

It's good advice for every waking moment of your life.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Wait, wait....

I have the answer.

Ferret needs to go on a date with Teflon Billy.

I don't swing that way brother, neither am I a chickenhawk

 

[EricNoah]

Wait, wait....

I have the answer.

Ferret needs to go on a date with Teflon Billy.

I sense an EN World contest with "Win a Dream Date with Teflon Billy!" mentioned somewhere coming soon...