I'm in the process of recruiting new players into our group. Wanting to like the new player doesn't have much to do with the new player trying to change our group. As the DM, I'll always listen to advice, it helps me improve. But if the new guy starts making suggestions right off the bat, no matter how polite he is about it, he's going to come off as a creepy-weirdo-stereotypically annoying D&D player. He's also going to come off as a problem player and make me wonder if I've made a mistake inviting him to the group.
Just like you said, if I was a new player to an established group, I'd want them to like me. Which means, I'm not going to be the "know-it-all" and start suggesting to them how they could improve their gaming when I barely even know them.
This player entitlement just amazes me. I'd never act like this towards a DM or a new group of players. Even if done with good intentions, it's just socially bad form.
Yup, two times. I dunno Oryan our stars must be in alignment or something...I'm liking/agreeing with everything from you today! lol. (honestly never really noticed if I haven't or didn't before. But today definitely.)
Especially agree with the last paragraph. I wouldn't dream of doing this.
I'd go in, knowing what I know...when I'm told "oh no, we do it this way" I'd say, "OH! Ok. Where do I find that?" and try to work it in...asking questions all the way for things I was unfamiliar with.
It's trite and cliche, but I've found over the years my 5th grade teacher was correct..."the only dumb question is the unasked question." So I'll ask about stuff I don't know/am unfamiliar with. There's no shame in asking questions about something you are unfamiliar with...whether it is considered, now, "errata" or not.
I would not presume to go in and "teach" or "change" a group I had just joined (nor would I want to)...I am also not narcissistic enough (and by narcissistic, I mean feel that my way is the "right/better/good" way) to believe my way is the right/better way...it may be
for me. But that's all it is.
After some play, if I wasn't having fun their way...then I know the group may not be for me and, if I am unable to make certain changes with DM approval, I have a choice to make, for myself and my enjoyment of the game/group.
(Apologies for any unintentional offense in the above. I do not mean to insinuate the OP is "narcissistic", simply saying I am not/would not be in the above scenario of joining a new group. "Socially bad form" as Oryan says.)
But, again, whatever happens, good luck and happy gaming...however it goes for you.
--SD