D&D 5E "I’m that DM. . ."

Oofta

Legend
Kind of inspired by a conversation on the other thread, I'm the DM that doesn't let people stand in the back never getting attacked. Enemies use tactics that make sense to me. I don't use dungeons very often, so there are frequently no choke points. Enemies will work together so if the tank in front has sentinel, multiple enemies (frequently sending the weakest first) will rush past to get into the best tactical position. Enemies will regularly flank to get to the PCs with the worst AC. Intelligent humanoids will always have ranged attacks even if they are not included in the general stat blocks, all my orcs carry javelins (and I allow PCs and NPCs alike to throw multiple javelins).

If that sharpshooter archer elf always stays in the back, enemies will hear of this tactic and feint an attack from the front with low-level troops while sending their heavy hitters around back to focus fire on the guy who took out one of their champions a couple of weeks ago. Other times intelligent enemies will recognize which PC is the healer and focus fire on them first.

Not all the time of course. But for every tactic a PC will take to be "safe" there will be times the enemy will use tactics to counter that. Casters and archers are in as much danger as the front line fighters. While I don't run a particularly lethal campaign, that caster or archer in the back is just as likely to be targeted as the front line. Perhaps even more if they think being 100 feet or more away from the rest of the party when the fighting starts is a good idea.
 

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I'm that DM that rolls dice behind his DM-screen and then exclaims "Oh, wow!" only to make players nervous because nothing will happen.

I'm that DM that will level up pets/mounts so they don't die outright at the first round of combat.

I'm that DM that likes to give the PCs an enormous amount of useless wealth at an inconvenient locations at low levels, then giggle as the players struggle to transport it all to safety and convert it to portable cash.
 


prabe

Aspiring Lurker (He/Him)
Supporter
Kind of inspired by a conversation on the other thread, I'm the DM that doesn't let people stand in the back never getting attacked. Enemies use tactics that make sense to me. I don't use dungeons very often, so there are frequently no choke points. Enemies will work together so if the tank in front has sentinel, multiple enemies (frequently sending the weakest first) will rush past to get into the best tactical position. Enemies will regularly flank to get to the PCs with the worst AC. Intelligent humanoids will always have ranged attacks even if they are not included in the general stat blocks, all my orcs carry javelins (and I allow PCs and NPCs alike to throw multiple javelins).

If that sharpshooter archer elf always stays in the back, enemies will hear of this tactic and feint an attack from the front with low-level troops while sending their heavy hitters around back to focus fire on the guy who took out one of their champions a couple of weeks ago. Other times intelligent enemies will recognize which PC is the healer and focus fire on them first.

Not all the time of course. But for every tactic a PC will take to be "safe" there will be times the enemy will use tactics to counter that. Casters and archers are in as much danger as the front line fighters. While I don't run a particularly lethal campaign, that caster or archer in the back is just as likely to be targeted as the front line. Perhaps even more if they think being 100 feet or more away from the rest of the party when the fighting starts is a good idea.
This sounds similar--in like play outcomes--to what I do from time to time, which is to specifically set up a scenario so the party's "standard tactics," whatever they are, won't be the best solution, because I want to watch the party figure that out, and figure out how to get past it.
 

Celebrim

Legend
I'm that DM...

That never plays by the RAW because I always have problems with it.

That ends up rewriting the entire game from the engine up by the time I'm three years into a campaign resulting in PCs not needing to actually buy rule books for the game because I literally have my own rulebook at that point. Sucks to be a publisher, but at least I create demand for dice and PC miniatures.

I'm that DM that writes 50 pages of notes to run a 16-hour adventure, and then ends up totally winging the last session which is the climax because by that point I'm tired of writing.

I'm that DM that takes a quality prepublished adventure that lots of people have enjoyed and then adds 20 pages of notes to it because I felt it was clunky and had lots of holes. (Call it 'The Seth Skorkowsky Principle', because I'm not alone in this.)

I'm that DM that runs a campaign for like 8 years, then put it aside because of DM burn out "for a little while" only to end up running another equally complex campaign for the next 4 years that started out with the intention of being just something easy to prep.

That can't be a player, because dang it, why do published games have to have such badly thought-out rules that whenever I'm a player I break them like eggshells and leave the poor GM that graciously agreed to run a game for me winging everything.

That bases the in game weather on googling what's going on in a real-world location.

That improvises fantasy/sci-fi locations by googling a real-world location and making anagrams of the name or uses google translate to obscure the name.

That improvises prices by googling for the real-world equivalent and converting modern dollars to game currency.

That googles a random name generator any time I need to name a PC.

That basically is googling up the answer to everything the whole time I'm GMing.
 




Lanefan

Victoria Rules
I'm that DM that writes 50 pages of notes to run a 16-hour adventure, and then ends up totally winging the last session which is the climax because by that point I'm tired of writing.
Same here, but in my case it's mostly because I keep forgetting they can play faster than I can write.
 

Mad_Jack

Hero
I'm that DM that will occasionally pull out those giant minis and set them to the side in plain sight.

In one game my players failed to stop a tribe of bullywugs from completing a summoning ritual for their tribal "god". They almost quit the game when I placed a 6-inch diameter ceramic garden frog on the table. :cool:


Another time I put a live cat on the table... :D (But I was just kidding that time, lol.)
 

el-remmen

Moderator Emeritus
I'm that DM that when the players joked one session about facing a sharktopus because of an unintended reference coming up in game while scouting an underwater fortress, made sure this happened when the sahuagin priestesses in the temple performed a summoning the next session. . .
313546000_659562622463989_3132854018947942472_n.jpg


I modded a toy shark with some sculpting clay and had a make it work moment. . . .

312816586_428740696080009_2724359076012322646_n.jpg
 
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