Damage on a miss is an excellent mechanic for a game. Damage on a miss is a terrible mechanic for a simulation.
You *can* justify it. But it's so much easier to say a miss is a miss. Everyone understands that.
What I find interesting is that we've accepted damage on a miss for spells. Fireball for 5d6, save for half. Is the fact that the other party is the roller what makes this acceptable and uncontroversial?
What if damage on a miss was re-written as "You cannot miss with this attack. You still make an attack roll, but if you would have missed, you instead strike a glancing blow for half damage."? Would that be more acceptable?
Fireball in previous editions never required an attack roll. Also, you are trying to compare AC to saves which is a false thing to do. Most AoE spells were always like an explosion. While you may not have been hit dead on with a fireball, you still had to get away from the concussion or the flame which makes sense. Comparing melee combat and AoE does not make sense. It's like comparing a toaster to a banana.