IRON DM 2020 Tournament Thread

Wicht

Hero
As for all the questions, after the first round I figured answering questions was not that important given the word count limit - it is just impossible to answer or even suggest an answer in many cases (esp. as something as complicated and immediately irrelevant like "how does one make a sword from negative energy?"

But I can answer one question, about the elevator right now: In space or not, a ship moves up and down relative to other things and itself - and also spelljamming ships land (or at least some of them do) as opposed to the controls that point it left or right.

The sword question was just a rambling sort of question which had no bearing on anything one way or another. :)

As for the Elevator, I was willing to cede it for the purpose of the adventure, and I do know that the ships move up and down... but I couldn't remember if the original Spelljammer rules talked about this at all relevant to actual physical mechanics. I have a memory that each ship has a helm powered by spells, and looking at the pictures, the illithid ships had these frilly wings, but a lot of them were just boats in space sans wings. Magical flying ships that don't need wings to fly don't need elevators or rudders to steer either. If it was all telekinesis, then, much like the typical ufo of yore, the ships just move where you want them, however you think of them moving. To put it another, way, does the sail on a spelljamming merchant vessel actually do anything in space? I simply could not remember and a brief google search did not educate me further than my initial memories. I suppose I could have dug out my spelljammer box set, and seen what it said but that level of research seemed unnecessary as, again, I was willing to allow it as necessary for the purpose of the adventure. Nothing says every spelljammer has to work exactly like every other one anyway.
 
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Wicht

Hero
I enjoy the Judges critiques as much as I enjoy the entries themselves. I find them to be an immensely helpful learning tool, both for writing more of these entries, and for writing adventures generally. I don't think either of my entries would have been as good (such as they are) if I had not read the critiques of the earlier matches before writing.

There's a drawback to that, though: It may have been one of the reasons that I had such a hard time writing the latest one - I kept second-guessing how everything would be judged, until I was no longer enjoying myself. When I began to run out of time and just had to get something on the page, I had to let that go.
You can only play to the judges so much. In the end, you need to be satisfied with your own work and learn to speak with your own voice. Granted, trying to write a pastiche in the style of a favorite author has a satisfaction all its own; but I think such an exercise should be the exception, not the rule, and in the end is just a part of trying to learn your own style.
 

Thanks and commiserations to @el-remmen - that one was very very close and could have really gone either way, unanimous verdict or not. After reading your entry i thought using Spelljammer to square the fantasy/sci-fi circle of the ingredients was a stroke of genius and that your Binary Suns and Cursed Sword would be really hard to get past.

I can't argue with any of the critiques of my entry. My ogre wasn't precisely and literally ogre-y, so that was always a bit tenuous and i knew the hook was weak. The adventure was originally a Delta Green story, but I dumped that because I didn't want to deal with all Delta Green's setting-specific tropes, but one thing Delta Green DID have was a bunch of somewhat crazed superiors who sent you on weird missions with no or insufficient explanation, and my hook was a holdover from that. Having said that, what I should have done is relegated the last paragraph about Shakespeare's grave (which adds cool factor to the whole thing, but isn't structurally necessary) to a separate codicil post outside the judgeable portion of the adventure to reclaim wordcount and improved the hook a bit. @Rune seem to have been absolutely reading my mind on this adventure when it came to translating what I actually wrote into the vision I had in my head, and their mention of what happens when the sword is stored in a sealed container is exactly how i envisioned it, and what i should have used for the hook. The pawnbroker keeps the sword in a locked safe or the sealed boot of a car or something and Eldritch Hilarity Ensues.

I did want to address a couple of questions that @Rune made though, because i thought of them at the time and while i couldn't explicitly talk about them in the adventure due to word count, knowing about it does add to the thing as a whole.

The Bardic College in “Play” is more clever and more central to the goings-on. I think the choice of Shakespeare wasn’t entirely necessary, but is entirely understandable. I do wonder if Christopher Marlowe wouldn’t have fit the adventure a little better; Doctor Faustus could have been autobiographical!

(This section does raise some questions, although I’m not entirely certain that they need answers within the scope of the adventure. Did Shakespeare leave a copy of the play in Praecipua? Did he make a copy of a play that was already there? If the latter, why is the play in Praecipua written in his language and style? These strike me as good questions to follow up on in a future installment. If such is even a possibility, of course.)

I deliberately chose Shakespeare partly because Shakespeare is The Bard with a capital 'B', and so was a better fit for the 'Bardic College' ingredient. But it did reach a bit beyond that. Lovecraft and his work of course have a well-founded reputation of racism, and i wanted to flip that about in this adventure a little. So rather than the standard Lovecraftian story construct where some funny-looking foreigner secretly practises unspeakable rites that horrify good honest white anglo-saxons (and heaven help us if a white man breeds with one of these awful creatures!), I tried to make it the other way around. Poor Pakistani immigrant Pamir is a victim twice over, exploited and stolen from by shonky white managerial type Coulthard, and used and discarded to madness and death by Ffoulkes. And the sane, sensible presence is Ronica (who is in my head of Afro-Caribbean descent - Ronica is a common Jamaican girl's name according to Google, and her surname Marshall came from the legendary Barbadian cricket player Malcolm Marshall, and she studies colonialism into the bargain). And of course, what's more emblematic of high Anglo-Saxon culture than Shakespeare? It amused me to make him a twisted warlock writing unspeakable tomes, and spreading his taint to new worlds, rather than the taint coming to Good Old Wholesome England from without....

Besides, if you're running a CoC game and you can't do anything with Shakespeare's tomb, then you're not trying. And the circumstances of his death remain unknown (mutated into a Ffoulkes-like ogre and taken down by agents in Walshingham's employ, probably, who then went back and purged the unholy bits out of his plays, which is why the chant of the three witches in Macbeth, for instance, is clearly stylistically different to everything else in Shakespeare ) The inscription on his grave: ''Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare, To digg the dust encloased heare, Blest by the man that spares these stones, And curst be he that moves my bones.'
 

FitzTheRuke

Legend
The adventure was originally a Delta Green story...

I've been thinking about running it in Delta Green! My usually IRL game, now on Zoom loves to play short Delta Green games between longer D&D campaigns. It seems like the perfect lengths, and would probably take us two to four sessions (depending on how much I flesh out to build ambiance.)
Lovecraft and his work of course have a well-founded reputation of racism, and i wanted to flip that about in this adventure a little. So rather than the standard Lovecraftian story construct where some funny-looking foreigner secretly practises unspeakable rites that horrify good honest white anglo-saxons (and heaven help us if a white man breeds with one of these awful creatures!), I tried to make it the other way around. Poor Pakistani immigrant Pamir is a victim twice over, exploited and stolen from by shonky white managerial type Coulthard, and used and discarded to madness and death by Ffoulkes. And the sane, sensible presence is Ronica (who is in my head of Afro-Caribbean descent - Ronica is a common Jamaican girl's name according to Google, and her surname Marshall came from the legendary Barbadian cricket player Malcolm Marshall, and she studies colonialism into the bargain). And of course, what's more emblematic of high Anglo-Saxon culture than Shakespeare? It amused me to make him a twisted warlock writing unspeakable tomes, and spreading his taint to new worlds, rather than the taint coming to Good Old Wholesome England from without....

At least two of my players (probably three, actually) would absolutely notice and love that about it.

As an aside, when I read your entry, I laughed out loud and told my wife about how you'd used "redundant ogre" right from the start. As a student, she liked it. I thought your use of both definitions were really clever.
 

I've been thinking about running it in Delta Green! My usually IRL game, now on Zoom loves to play short Delta Green games between longer D&D campaigns. It seems like the perfect lengths, and would probably take us two to four sessions (depending on how much I flesh out to build ambiance.)
Wow, thanks, that's a massive compliment! If you do ever end up running it, please let me know how it went, I'd love to hear about it.
 

el-remmen

Moderator Emeritus
The new standings, halfway through round two:

IRONDM2020-bracket-rd2.5.jpg
 

Wicht

Hero
Judgment for Round 2, Match 2
@Iron Sky vs. @FitzTheRuke


Wow. One of these entries is definitely easier to grok than the other. But does that make it better, worse, or not really matter in the end. Let’s find out.

Our first entry, Iron Sky’s Postmortem (hereafter TPK) aka. Death Race in the World Space, is a post death extravaganza boiled in Norse myth and served with a side of steam punk. The terminology and presentation takes a bit of getting used to, but in essence, the PCs will have the chance to aid powers and potential powers to somehow wrest control of a mythic lantern for control of the universe by engaging in a scavenger-hunt/race.

Our second entry, FitztheRuke’s Race to the Bottom (hereafter Hag) is a more typical offering which also features a race as the PCs pursue an evil hag through old dwarven tunnels. This entry is less ambitious in scope than its competitor, but is also somewhat tighter and easier to follow.

Both adventures were turned in on time, and were under the word count. So let’s take a look at what they actually offer us, beginning with

Lets deal with the ingredients in the order the were given to the contestants, beginning with Window of Opportunity. In TPK we have a broken window in the lantern which the PCs will have to try to enter, if…, and this is I think an important point,… if they are working for the Enlightened thing and flying an airship. Otherwise, as far as I can tell, they will never encounter it. As might be clear in my judgments to date, I find ingredients which may or may not be encountered by the PCs a less than optimal use, and in this case it only has about a 33% chance of ever getting used. In Hag, we have two uses of a window of opportunity, both a bit less literal, but also more within the normal range of the term’s meaning. The second use in particular, as a few moments of battle in the midst of a mine-car race, is a bit scripted, but also highly cinematic. The DM has to hope, of course, that the window passes before they defeat the hag so that they will have to fight here elsewhere. But I think Hag has the clearly better use of the ingredient.

Then we come to the rather interesting ingredient of Nameless Things. I think that Hag has something of an advantage in this ingredient as well, but it’s a closer thing and requires a bit of explanation because in some ways TPK clearly works harder with the ingredient and at first glance the nameless things of Hag seem rather generic, being simply monstrous humanoids without names. Yet,… yet… yet, TPK works too hard to be clever and in a rather rare instance of this, undoes some of its own work because of its offering of a secong go at the ingredient. At the same time there is an elegant kind of poetry and tragedy to the simplicity of Hag’s use. What I mean by this is that the Things in TPK are initially a reference to a kind of counsel; at least, the Norse Things were gatherings for the purpose of governance and I am assuming that this is the implied meaning in TPK; though I must admit it is never spelled out and I am making an educated guess that we are meant to accept the classical understanding. And two of these Things are indeed by design nameless so as to not be subject to magical control. If this was the only use of Thing, we would be good and I might give it to TPK even though it’s a bit muddy that this was the intended meaning. But as we go on in the entry, we then have Thing used in reference to the English idea of a thing, meaning an item. And our attention is called to this use rather pointedly and yet none of these things are unnamed, rather they all are given named characteristics. What these additions manage to unfortunately accomplish is the creation of confusion in the mind of the reader as to the meaning of the first use of Thing as a Norse style counsel. If using a Norse term, stick with that use of the term for the sake of clarity. On the other hand, the things of Hag are humans who, through strange magics, have lost their identity, their humanity, and even their very memories. They are individuals who are bereft of all that makes them who they are, with names stolen by magic, and humanity further stripped away. The fact that the PCs are going to kill many of these things, only to, one hopes, discover what they actually were, that they did have identities and families, becomes a rather powerful thing. So again, advantage Hag.

Which brings us to Weird Magic. Here I have to give the slight advantage to TPK. The weird magics of Hag are mostly just weird because the author says they are. In truth, by most rules as written, there are pretty standard explanations for most of what is done. We shall assume that what is meant is that she calls upon energies that are different from what most other wizards call upon as they bend the laws of time and space. TPK takes a risks by interpreting weird as wyrd, meaning fate magic. Its not a perfect implementation of this, but the whole matter of the PCs having a chance to undo fate is stronger than what Hag offers, so in this case the risk pays off.

But on the Unlightable Lantern the advantage swings back to Hag, which has a rather glorious little malevolent magic item in the lantern, which when it is attempted to be lit, steals your very essence, a little at a time. The lantern in TPK, on the other hand is hard to light, but not actually unlightable, especially as the whole quest of those following the path of enlightenment is essentially to use a radioactive substance to “light” the lantern. Not being able to burn a flame in a lantern due to the wind is not the same as not being able to light it. Though one does wonder whether there is not a simpler, arcane way of lighting the lantern then bringing radioactive ore into it.

On the matter of Occupied Mine, which is truthfully one of the easier ingredients we have something of a wash, as both adventures offer mines which are suitably occupied and integral to the adventures.

And then we come to Old Ways. This is a tricky one because in TPK, the use of the ingredient is not spelled out explicitly (unless I am missing it), and we have to search for the ingredient. But the entirety of the adventure is basically asking the PCs to choose sides between the old rigid ways of doing things, or the new, more innovative and free-form ways. In Hag on the other hand, the old tunnels are just that: old tunnels. I have to give the advantage to TPK here.

And then Faster Car. In Hag we simply have six cars and one of them is providentially faster than the others. In TPK the PCs have the chance to upgrade their vehicle so it becomes faster. In neither case did I think it was particularly a good use. Which is a shame, since, as both adventures are a race, I think more might have been done with the ingredient. So we’ll call this one a wash.

As we get to the end of the ingredients, Hag has a definite advantage, but not an overwhelming one,… so lets move on…

Let’s talk about…

In the matter of useability, I think that Hag is the clear favorite. There is a lot going on in TPK, it is presented in a somewhat muddy way (the result of time constraints I am guessing) and each choice of the PCs at the beginning requires a whole different set of plans on the part of the DM. Essentially there are three adventures here, each running side by side with the other. You also have the matter of the DM having to run not one, but two other teams of powerful individuals, and, on the part of the poor DM, this whole scenario would likely end up being something of a nightmare to plan and run. The hook is very situation specific, but once it is taken the PCs have little choice but to follow through, one would assume. One remaining problem with useability is that it assumes a longer running campaign, with preknown enemies who are also dead. This makes it a rather niche offering, certainly not suitable for a wide variety of groups.

All that being said, once I did Grok all that was going on in TPK, I really liked quite a bit of it. It’s a bit outside my normal area of play, but it is well done and decently thought out, and gives a wide variety of choices, at least initially as to how the PCs want to go within the adventure. There’s a great deal going on, and most of it is fairly interesting, with a fair amount of opportunity for roleplaying. It is a case where the more I read it and understood it, the better I liked it.

Hag on the other hand, is more linear, but it does not necessarily lose much because of that linearity simply because the action keeps moving. The setup requires the PCs to make the choice to investigate, but all things being equal, though the hook is a bit weak, it will probably work most of the time. And once the PCs are in the adventure they are likely to see it through to the end. My main complaint about it is that as a scenario, its actually a little on the short side. This is not totally bad, but I am left wanting just a little bit more. On the other, other hand, the rather horrific discovery by the PCs at the end that the monsters they have been killing were in fact the missing townsfolk is horrific enough to be worth the price of admission. It may be bad of me, but I really like that twist.

So where does that leave us?

TPK is a bit of a mess on first read, and I had to really work to get it. Some of that may have been a limited amount of sleep fogging my brain a little, but I think a lot of it was simply presentation and the use of terms both archaic and non-standard so as to require both research and assumptions as to their meaning. But once I did make it through, giving it two or three good rereads, it started to come together, and I found a lot there to like. My final impression was far more favorable than my initial impression.

On the other hand, Hag is easily understood, and if anything is almost too simple. But the ingredients are well used, and they tie together in a nice cohesive package. And a lot of that simplicity is hiding some rather well put-together ideas, such as the unlightable lantern, the true identity of the nameless things and the nice little cinematic mine-cart chase. There are a few weaknesses here and there, and aside from the emotional impact of the reveal at the end concerning the true nature of the monsters, I don’t know how memorable it will be a month after it has been played through.

Still, when all is said and done, FitztheRuke and The Race to the Bottom are the winners of this match in my estimation. We’ll see what the other other two judges say, whether they agree with me or not…

Postmortem (TPK)
Rules 6
Ingredient Use

Window of Opportunity 1
Nameless Things 1.5
Weird Magic 1.5
Unlightable Lantern 1
Occupied Mine 2
Old Ways 2
Faster Car 1 (total 10/14)
Useability 3
Appeal 5
TOTAL SCORE 24/32

Race to the Bottom (Hag)
Follows Rules 6
Ingredients

Window of Opportunity 2
Nameless Things 2
Weird Magic 1
Unlightable Lantern 2
Occupied Mine 2
Old Ways 1
Faster Car 1 (total 11)
Useability 5
Appeal 5
TOTAL SCORE 27/32
 

FitzTheRuke

Legend
@Wicht I'm glad to see you got that bit!

I definitely intended their very likely slaughter of the poor cursed townsfolk to shock the players, in particular if they figure out how to cure them in the end. I think it's the right balance - if they save some of them, they can easily be forgiven (by the townsfolk, the law, or themselves) for the mistake, but they could also feel true remorse. A good opportunity for role-playing, I think.

I get what you mean about the Faster Car in my entry. I cut more than I thought I had from what made the third minecart faster than the others. It wasn't until I read my entry again a few days later (I submitted it with something like 15 minutes to go, in something of a rush) that I noticed that I had left much of it out. (I also noticed a bunch of other tweaks I should have made, naturally.)

I agree with, and appreciate all your criticisms of my entry. Thanks for the nod.
 

Iron Sky

Procedurally Generated
Herein lies the risk of having several options for each ingredient. The main window of opportunity I intended was the chance PCs have to act if they're efficient with the race and get there before the other teams. The main old ways I intended were the decaying railways though I'm glad you liked the use I didn't really think about. I'm also not sure what the named things that weaken the ingredient are... I don't think I ever used the word thing unless it was for a Thing. The various ores collected to complete the relative missions?

As for using the race rules, all the GM needs to do is roll a dice once for each rival faction whenever the PCs do and note progress or strain for the other factions. I'm not sure how I could make the race much simpler than that?

If you think thinks and sees the world the same way you do, read an Iron DM judgment I guess. :p

Regardless, thanks for the critique, @Wicht, I definitely learn something from every judgment!
 
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My thoughts on the last two entries:

I like how the two entries couldn't be more different from one another. Postmortem went unexpectedly deep on its lore and setting, providing a type of adventure that is really unique in its structure. I'm a bit sad its originality didn't earn it more points, though it is hard to disagree with the critique regarding the use of the ingredients.

Race to the bottom on the other hand is fairly mundane as far as adventures go, but also pretty straight forward to run because of it. It is an easy plug and play adventure in my view. Simplicity can be a good thing. Its use of the Unlightable Lantern is also very strong, and very reminiscent of classic TSR modules.

Fitz already expressed some of his disappointment with his own entry, and his writers block. I can see what he means. It is not exactly an entry that blew me away. But, I do understand the adventure easily, and I feel it is something just about any DM could put in their campaign as a side adventure, without much trouble. In that respect, I think the mundaneness actually did it a lot of favors. Structurally, it is a solid and cohesive adventure. Not spectacular, but easy to run.

Postmortem impressed me more. But if I had to choose which of the two to actually run as a DM, it would probably be Race to the bottom. I love the bitter irony in the name of the adventure btw.
 
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