[Iron] IronNPC -- RAY SILVER WINS!
- Thread starter Nifft
- Start date
M on Saturday -- any time after 4
Malin Genie
First Post
Due to RL problems I will have to withdraw (if it's any indication, this is the first time I've gotten to a computer since the round started...)
As these problems are unlikely to abate over the next few weeks I will make it a complete retirement rather than an adjournment.
I have read Ray's entry and truly believe that he deserves to go through to the next round - I doubt I could have beaten that.
Apologies to all concerned, especially Ray and Nifft.
Good luck to all the competitors.
As these problems are unlikely to abate over the next few weeks I will make it a complete retirement rather than an adjournment.
I have read Ray's entry and truly believe that he deserves to go through to the next round - I doubt I could have beaten that.
Apologies to all concerned, especially Ray and Nifft.
Good luck to all the competitors.
Nifft
Penguin Herder
Round 1, Match 1 -- JUDGEMENT!
Ray Silver:
- Awakened Feline: 4
- Bastard Sword of Passion: 8
- Costume Ball: 3
- Desecrated Fortress: 10
- Envious Green Dragon: 1
- Faerie Ring: 8
Ingredient Total: 34/50
Personality: 16/20
Utility: 17/20
Total: 67/100
---
Notes:
Bad first
Green Dragon: charming story, illustrates how she deals with problems, but ultimately irrelevant to her use -- the problem could have been ANY monster.
Awakened Feline: useful at a certain stage in her development, but adds little to her as a character over time.
Costume Ball: The costumes hide faces (like that of the Demon-Priest), fine -- how then does the prince judge who's the prettiest maiden? Can't have it both ways.
What was Good
Bastard Sword of Passion: Nice.
Faerie Ring: Interesting usage, though I wonder how the humans got it back to their castle.
Desecrated Fortress: Great! This is a haunted locale with a good, dark history.
Personality: I like Analia. She's got class and spunk. Her ultimate goal isn't spelled out, but I think it's safe to assume she'd like a party wandering by to help her clear out the zombies and help a new forrest to grow over the desecrated ruins.
Utility: She's great at any stage of her development. I'd definately drop her last stage into a haunted wood.
----
Judgement:
The winner, by default, is Ray Silver. It's not unusual in IronDM for an entry to show great use of three ingredients and marginal ("tacked-on") use fo the other three. So, I'd consider this entry above-average, despite the fact that I have no other entry with which to compare it.
Well done, Ray Silver!
-- Nifft
Ray Silver:
- Awakened Feline: 4
- Bastard Sword of Passion: 8
- Costume Ball: 3
- Desecrated Fortress: 10
- Envious Green Dragon: 1
- Faerie Ring: 8
Ingredient Total: 34/50
Personality: 16/20
Utility: 17/20
Total: 67/100
---
Notes:
Bad first
Green Dragon: charming story, illustrates how she deals with problems, but ultimately irrelevant to her use -- the problem could have been ANY monster.
Awakened Feline: useful at a certain stage in her development, but adds little to her as a character over time.
Costume Ball: The costumes hide faces (like that of the Demon-Priest), fine -- how then does the prince judge who's the prettiest maiden? Can't have it both ways.
What was Good
Bastard Sword of Passion: Nice.
Faerie Ring: Interesting usage, though I wonder how the humans got it back to their castle.
Desecrated Fortress: Great! This is a haunted locale with a good, dark history.
Personality: I like Analia. She's got class and spunk. Her ultimate goal isn't spelled out, but I think it's safe to assume she'd like a party wandering by to help her clear out the zombies and help a new forrest to grow over the desecrated ruins.
Utility: She's great at any stage of her development. I'd definately drop her last stage into a haunted wood.
----
Judgement:
The winner, by default, is Ray Silver. It's not unusual in IronDM for an entry to show great use of three ingredients and marginal ("tacked-on") use fo the other three. So, I'd consider this entry above-average, despite the fact that I have no other entry with which to compare it.
Well done, Ray Silver!
-- Nifft
Wippit Guud
First Post
Might as well consider me pinged as well, just post the specs at 7pm tomorrow, and I'll get to creating.
Re: Round 1, Match 1 -- JUDGEMENT!
I'm sorry your were busy Malin, I would have liked some compeition, as this is a first time Iron anything for me. I am glad you liked my entry though.
I was going to add a thread of Karnax going through all of her stages, but as this was approaching a small novella, and I had other ingrediants to consider, I didn't.
For those interested, I was going to have him order her to send rich-looking intruders toward his lair, so that he might take their wealth (and have a snack). While reluctant at first, for belligerent and greedy humans she made make an exception (particularly those with axes). In return for her cooperation, Karnax would occasionally made raids on the town bordering the forest (something he probably would have done anyway, but it's nice to have additional incentive), in order to make the humans continually fear the woods. This would have slowed their reckless advance, and allowed her more time to develop her powers, which would make more sense.
At the time the cruel lord found her, Karnax would have staged another raid during the construction of the castle. The lord knew of these raids, and was ready this time. Karnax would have still been fairly young, and surpise tactics from hired adventurers put him low. At the death of this, her last friend (or at least, ally of sorts) would have truly put her in deep despair.
She's rather well-favored toward druids as a result of both Raylorn and Swiftclaw, though I'll admit Swiftclaw was more a convienient way for her to put a little more force behind her campaign to save her forest. Perhaps Swiftclaw's predator mentality allowed her to learn how to be a bit more ruthless.
True that. I put that comment about the demon-priest's face in at the last second because I wanted to emphasize the reason for it being a costume ball and not just a fancy party. Though one could rationalize that while everyone was in costume, not necessarily everyone was wearing a mask.
Thanks. Fairy revenge is fun to write!
They didn't. They built their castle around Analia's tree and her ring. The ring was an enchantment sown into the ground itself.
Thanks! I thought it would make a really cool image, having a dryad's tree in an old, crumbling fortress.
Thanks! Her ultimate goal... well... It's basically she wants the woods back the way they were, or failing that, to keep them as natural as possible. Not exactly a world-shattering goal, but a good one for a fey.
Also, was my format ok? We're all kind of breaking new ground here, so is there anything you'd like me to change for easier reading for all in the future rounds? Thanks again Nifft! Looking forward to Round 2!.
I'm sorry your were busy Malin, I would have liked some compeition, as this is a first time Iron anything for me. I am glad you liked my entry though.
Nifft said:
I was going to add a thread of Karnax going through all of her stages, but as this was approaching a small novella, and I had other ingrediants to consider, I didn't.
For those interested, I was going to have him order her to send rich-looking intruders toward his lair, so that he might take their wealth (and have a snack). While reluctant at first, for belligerent and greedy humans she made make an exception (particularly those with axes). In return for her cooperation, Karnax would occasionally made raids on the town bordering the forest (something he probably would have done anyway, but it's nice to have additional incentive), in order to make the humans continually fear the woods. This would have slowed their reckless advance, and allowed her more time to develop her powers, which would make more sense.
At the time the cruel lord found her, Karnax would have staged another raid during the construction of the castle. The lord knew of these raids, and was ready this time. Karnax would have still been fairly young, and surpise tactics from hired adventurers put him low. At the death of this, her last friend (or at least, ally of sorts) would have truly put her in deep despair.
She's rather well-favored toward druids as a result of both Raylorn and Swiftclaw, though I'll admit Swiftclaw was more a convienient way for her to put a little more force behind her campaign to save her forest. Perhaps Swiftclaw's predator mentality allowed her to learn how to be a bit more ruthless.
True that. I put that comment about the demon-priest's face in at the last second because I wanted to emphasize the reason for it being a costume ball and not just a fancy party. Though one could rationalize that while everyone was in costume, not necessarily everyone was wearing a mask.
Thanks. Fairy revenge is fun to write!
They didn't. They built their castle around Analia's tree and her ring. The ring was an enchantment sown into the ground itself.
Thanks! I thought it would make a really cool image, having a dryad's tree in an old, crumbling fortress.
Thanks! Her ultimate goal... well... It's basically she wants the woods back the way they were, or failing that, to keep them as natural as possible. Not exactly a world-shattering goal, but a good one for a fey.
Also, was my format ok? We're all kind of breaking new ground here, so is there anything you'd like me to change for easier reading for all in the future rounds? Thanks again Nifft! Looking forward to Round 2!.
Wippit Guud
First Post
Well, not that I'm saying my layout will be better, but I plan on writing the story as it progresses through the statblocks...
Statblock 1
Story
Statblock 2
More story centering around that period
etc...
It's the format a few of us use in the Rogue Gallery threads where we take an NPC through their entire life, 1 level at a time.
Statblock 1
Story
Statblock 2
More story centering around that period
etc...
It's the format a few of us use in the Rogue Gallery threads where we take an NPC through their entire life, 1 level at a time.
I was going to do that, but the writer in me didn't want to interrupt the flow of the story with stat blocks. 
Yours does make more sense, though.
Yours does make more sense, though.Similar Threads
