It'll sound like this...
(to the tune of Pulp's 'Mile End')
He didn't have no where to live, / he slept behind the cupboard door,
'til Hagrid said / "I know this place on a Scottish moor."
It was on the fifteenth floor, / fat woman’s portrait ‘cross the door.
You had to give the password / to calm her down and get inside. / It smelt as if someone had died;
Scabber’s corpse was full of flies, / the bathroom sink was blocked,
Myrtle’s not all there at all. / Ooh, / it's a mess alright, / yes it's
Hog - Warts.
And now he's living in the sky! / He never thought he'd live so
high, / just like Heaven / (if it didn't look like Hell.)
The stairs are always quite a howl, / the dining table smells of Owl
(not just on Friday, / every single other day.)
Beware, Malfoy comes out tonight, / with Crabbe and Goyle to have a fight,
and maybe hex somebody if you win the duel.
Ooh, / it's a mess alright, / yes it's
Hog - Warts.
Oo-ooh / Nobody wants to be Herm's friend
'cause she's a mudblood tart, / ooh / as if that was
something to look smug about. / That outcast giant with his dogs
raises dragons in the bogs. / Down by the Quidditch fields,
someone sets old Snape on fire. I guess you have to go right down
before you understand just how, / how low,
how low a potions teacher can go. / Ooh, / it's a mess alright, / yes it's
Hog - Warts.
Lalala...
Well I was going to do 'This is Hardcore' but....
