Kicking a player out of the group.

[hong]

There's nothing wrong with asking someone to leave if their gaming style doesn't mesh with yours. It doesn't mean they're not your friend. It doesn't mean you can't socialise outside the game. Not doing one activity together is not the end of a relationship; unless that's the ONLY thing the relationship was based on, in which case it wasn't much of a relationship to start with.

It's not like everyone in a gaming group is joined at the hip. You Are Allowed to do stuff in each other's absence.

 

[mhacdebhandia]

Jeez, you miss one session . . .

Yeah, I agree with Hong and the majority of posters in this thread. If your playing styles don't mesh anymore, and you can be honest about your reasons for wanting him out of the game, I think it's fair.

I don't play with some of the people I consider good friends because their styles get on my nerves, and I'm sure the reverse is true.

 

[3catcircus]

I'm kind of shocked and dismayed by almost every single response I've seen so far.

We are talking about a 20+ year friendship vs. a game. How can anyone risk throwing away a friendship over a stupid game? Don't you ensure that the people you game with are your friends, first?

I've kicked people out of a group over my 20+ year span of gaming - due to them doing un-friend-like things to deserve not being my friend any longer - not due to their roleplaying skills degrading.

Rather than throw your game into turmoil and potentially risk friendships, change your game. You, as the DM, should improvise, adapt and overcome. Without your players, you have no game to DM.

If it is "stink" as in hygiene problem, why didn't you vet the person before allowing them into the group to begin with; more importantly, why did you, as I read from your post, put up with it for 20+ years?

 

[hong]

I'm kind of shocked and dismayed by almost every single response I've seen so far.

We are talking about a 20+ year friendship vs. a game. How can anyone risk throwing away a friendship over a stupid game?

It's character building.

 

[hong]

Jeez, you miss one session . . .

Total hit point damage inflicted for the session was in the region of 3-4,000. It was good.

 

[Li Shenron]

I'm kind of shocked and dismayed by almost every single response I've seen so far.

We are talking about a 20+ year friendship vs. a game. How can anyone risk throwing away a friendship over a stupid game? Don't you ensure that the people you game with are your friends, first?

...

Rather than throw your game into turmoil and potentially risk friendships, change your game. You, as the DM, should improvise, adapt and overcome. Without your players, you have no game to DM.

As I said in the previous post, I don't think that kicking out the player means breaking a friendship! If the player is misbehaving, perhaps it's because he doesn't enjoy playing and it's best for him to play something else... First time we tried to play a RGP a couple of our long-time friends (very nice people with good sense of humour) joined us for the first two evenings, but really they were not into the game, they were just trying to laugh about everything - from choosing silly PC names to doing stupid things in the middle of the battle - so we kicked them out and played with 2 players less... Nothing wrong with it, if different players want different games I wonder how can some real friend get upset if you make him notice it.

 

[mhacdebhandia]

I would hope that a twenty-year friendship could survive a thing like this. That's why I think it's important to make it clear that it's a matter of people not having fun playing with each other because of style, not personality.

 

[S'mon]

I would hope that a twenty-year friendship could survive a thing like this. That's why I think it's important to make it clear that it's a matter of people not having fun playing with each other because of style, not personality.

Yup. Definitely read 5 Geek Social Fallacies (in my sig).

 

[mhacdebhandia]

Read it before, and agreed with every word. Friends don't have to do everything together; friends don't have to like everyone their friends like.

 

[S'mon]

Sorry, was aiming that at the thread-starter, mhac.