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Murder is the Pits

Kahuna Burger

First Post
In the courtyard of the Red Dragon, Petra seems quite at ease, and the more perceptive of you get the impression that this sort of hiring might be something she does regularly, just without the added issue of hunting murderers.

"OK, this is very simple, I have to sell you as up and coming gladiator stars and I need to see what I have to work with! I want to see a quick drill from you against Mr Stuffy," she waves towards the jousting dummy beside the stables, "and I want to see some style as well!"

ooc:[sblock]those who are interested in the adventure can either do as she is asking or approach her directly to sell your less martial talents. In addition to your description of fighting style, give me an attack (take ten) average damage and a perform glad check (take ten if you wish). its cha based and you can add any static bonuses to your attack roll such as weapon focus or a masterworked weapon, but not variable bonuses/penalties such as from power attack, two weapon fighting or temporary magical effects.[/sblock]

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Michael pokes his head out, medical bag slung over one arm.
He examines Mr. Stuffy for a moment, then shrugs. Fighting Mr. Stuffy doesn't really look likely to cause anyone harm, even by accident, so it's hardly likely he'll be needed out here.
He goes back into the inn.


First Post
Ha! I'll beat the stuffing out of that thing...

Sunny Perriwinkle, having followed Petra into the courtyard, hears her little speech and "steps up to the plate."

"Please blindfold me first, Petra," says Sunny, tearing off a bit of his shirt and wrapping it around his eyes.

[Assuming Petra does as Sunny bids...]

"Now, why don't you wiggle that silly jousting dummy and attempt, as best you can, to keep me from hitting it, will you?"

[Assuming Petra takes control of the dummy and moves it around...]

"Why, this is as easy as one -- two -- three..."

[Sunny pulls out his oversized bastard sword suddenly]


[Sunny casts True Strike -- even while exhorting a fictional crowd to spur him on...]

"TWO: Beware ladies and gentleman! Beware... the BLIND MUSKETEER!!!!!"

[Sunny clumsily steps into combat position and, a moment later, aims a great overhead strike at Mr. Stuffy]


[WHACK! At +15, Sunny's bastard sword hits unerringly true, despite him being blindfolded (thanks to True Strike), doing 2d8 + 3 damage to Mr. Stuffy or, on average, 12 points.

Whipping off his blindfold, seeing the damage he's done to Mr. Stuffy, Sunny smiles...]

"I'm just glad that fellow wasn't flesh and blood...in which case, I might even consider taking OFF my blindfold..."

[Sunny has no ranks in perform - Gladiator, but might have some circumstantial bonuses for his ridiculous display. Else, his check is 10-1 (charisma) = 9 ]

"Oh, and if that's not scary enough..."

[Sunny pauses for a second and then suddenly summons a Dire Badger, which promptly attacks poor Mr. Stuffy. The Dire Badger, after doing what dire badgers do to stuffed sparring partners, vanishes in a burst of ozone-tinged air]

"I think that Mr. Stuffy is, how shall I put it... non compos mentis, eh?"
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The man with the probe
Vanitri steps out of the inn and looks at Mr. Stuffy. He grins, draws his rapier, and begins to dance around Mr. Stuffy tauntingly, occasionaly rolling and striking him at odd angles, often hitting critical spots. At one point, he takes out a dagger and throws it at Mr Stuffy.

[sblock]Attack with the rapier, 11 (or 13 flanking), damage is about 5 (3.5, rounded up to 4, +1) or 8 with a flanking (sneak attack adds 3.5, round down). With Dodge, and Mobility, he floats around quite freely. He can dance tauntingly (Dance 13, Intimidate 11, Bluff 14, depending on what skill he'd use), and would be a gladiator roll of 11. The thrown dagger is a 12 attack with 4 damage (2.5 rounded up +1)[/sblock]

Vanitri, looking satisfied, sheaths his weapon and steps back. He recovers his dagger (which mysteroiusly hit Mr. Stiffy in the groin) with a smile and turns to Petra. "I hope that was good enough for you. Lil'sis should be out in a sec to talk to you as well."


The man with the probe
two said:
[WHACK! At +15, Sunny's bastard sword hits unerringly true, despite him being blindfolded (thanks to True Strike), doing 2d8 + 3 damage to Mr. Stuffy or, on average, 12 points.

OOC: Don't you have a 50% miss chance when blind or unable to see the target? :uhoh:
What you have reads better, though him missing horendusly would be entertaining.


First Post
Bront said:
OOC: Don't you have a 50% miss chance when blind or unable to see the target? :uhoh:
What you have reads better, though him missing horendusly would be entertaining.

True Strike takes care of this:

"You gain temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during your next attack. Your next single attack roll (if it is made before the end of the next round) gains a +20 insight bonus. Additionally, you are not affected by the miss chance that applies to attackers trying to strike a concealed target."

It's a good gimmick...which, being a gimmick after all, should play well in the pit. I assume.

Rystil Arden

First Post
*Zaeryl appears outside of the inn, and turns to Petra.*

"This one does not like taking orders...but it has come to our attention that there is a greater need for this 1000 golden coins than we had previously known. Therefore, we request a spot in your group...it is difficult to ask forgiveness from a flesh-creature who does not understand why we act the way we do, but we will do so if necessary...That is all, and we recognise your authority to continue exlcuding us if that is what you wish. We assume that this is what will occur and have only attempted a conciliatory action because the one called Sunny suggested it to us inside of the inn."

[OOC: My character only came out because Sunny popped his head back in the RDI and asked him to try, and I am not trying to undermine the decision to kick him out from before, so feel free to continue kicking him out and my feelings as a player will not be hurt at all, OK? :D]

Kishwa Dogteeth

First Post
"Me Kill Mr.Stuffy fer ya" the orc named Fang Flemflinger said as he drew his massive greatsword from his back. "An me do it real pretty like"

After backing up 80 feet, Fang began grunting and spitting like a wild animal, and then, quite suddenly he broke into a charge. "GGGGGAAAAAAAAAA!!!" he yelled, seemingly out of his mind as he charged with amazing speed, and then finished his charge with a mighty overhead shot.

"GAAAAAAAAA" Fang yelled again, as he followed up the power shot by grabbing and chewing on Mr.Stuffy.

A few seconds later he was finished. "Taste like chicken" Fang joked, as he began laughing in the most sickening way imaginable.

"Tol ya I kill him pretty" he added. "So what'cha tink? Me hired?"

OOC- Fang is posted. Here are his rolls from his previous rage greatsword attack...
Attack- 10+9=19, Damage 2d6+13
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Knight Otu

First Post
(Kishwa, please don't forget to update your character sheet in the character thread.

Kahuna Burger, if you don't mind, I'll take the judge position for this thread)

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