Empath Negative
First Post
Okay, maybe a FEW of you do... but how many? Below, I'll attempt to explain what the classes are and why they are what they are.
For example, when many people think Fighter, what they think is this guy:
When REALLY... they should be thinking about THIS guy...
A fighter isn't just a guy who swings a sword... he's a man with a preternatural gift for murdering people with just about anything he can get his hands on. He isn't simply "talented", he's more than just "gifted", he is the God of Steel and Punishment made carnate. Waves upon waves of foes will crash upon his mortal shore. Poets write in ink what he writes in blood, and his pen is all the more deft and precise.
That's what a fighter is.
But if that's a fighter, what makes a sorcerer? That's easy and can be summed up similarly.
Meet perhaps the only human being that could qualify as a sorcerer on our particular plane of existence:
If you can't see it, I can't help you. The woman oozes charisma and beauty. And not even just like "i wanna freak dat, yo", but "I wish to serve you because uh, wait, what? Sure, here's my paycheck and my savings, and my car keys. Burn down my house? One moment please."
That raw oozing almost freakishly too perfect beauty... that's what a sorcerer is. For a woman that looked like that... looked that good... would it surprise you... REALLY SURPRISE YOU... if she had magical powers?
If Katharine McPhee busted out with "rope trick" I'm not entirely convinced anyone in the room would be especially shocked. "Oh, well, yeah, that makes perfect sense".
If Katharine McPhee is a sorcerer then this guy is definitely a wizard:
and this guy is an high level wizard:
And if that guy is a high level wizard, this guy is an EPIC level wizard:
Hell, he even has a spellbook out.
Wizards are beings who, through intellect, alter the very fabric of our lives if not reality. If you live in relative peace and harmony right now it's thanks to contestant number 3 in the grouping above because if he hadn't come around our world would be very much different and probably not quite as... populated.
Wizards, through experiment, understanding, and research bend consciousness and knowledge to suit their goals. I don't really need to talk too much about Wizards because most people have a pretty good idea of what they are...
but I do need to talk about Paladins because peoples concept of Paladin seems wildly off.
This guy is a Paladin...
His name is Rolad Deschain, and if you haven't read the books that contain his story you haven't lived. though he's an imperfect (both as a paragon of good and other ways) example, real life good guys usually end up corpses and there haven't been a lot of epic quests in recent years that also involved murdering people.
I can think of no class that comes with the inherent awesome that the Paladin does because no class comes with the internal turmoil that the Paladin does. Think about it, your job is to murder people left and right and yet still uphold the truth of goodness, light, and law. Forever drawn to darkness yet eternally vigilant against it. Knowing that you are damned should you ever turn your path from the light but always dimly aware that the question "What is the greater good?" will always haunt you.
How anyone can play the game of dungeons and dragons and not bust out the butcher knives over who gets to play the Paladin is beyond me. No one at the table has a better chance for plot hooks and drama than this guy. No one reeks of epic like this guy.
Which brings us to Barbarians, of course. If Fighters are the guys with preternatural gifts at murdering then Barbarians are nature's answer.
People usually think about a guy like this when they think Barbarian...
When really, they should be thinking about this guy:
Michael Phelps is *built* for what he does. Swimming doesn't require a great deal of "talent" per se, which isn't to detract from what they do. Instead swimming in this instance is based almost exclusively on physical gifts that few mortals possess. Seriously, simply *being* Michael Phelps is Michael Phelps' advantage in the pool. Don't believe me?
This is an entire article on why Michael Phelps s, and I'm not making this up...Transhuman... and he describes in detail all of the unique physical advantages Michael Phelps has when he does what he does.
That's what a Barbarian is. They are a member of a select group of people that are evolutionarily adapted to be more physically powerful, dexterous, and hardy than their so-called civilized "superiors". They don't *need* the fighters training, or the Paladins good fortune, all they need is an ax and there you go.
The Bard can be summed up, really, with one picture:
I'm not even talking about his capacity in a particular political party. I'm talking strictly as a politician he was amazing at what he did. Agree or disagree everyone but EVERYONE knew he was the guy running the show and knew he was damn good at being a politician who knew how to command others, and get them to do what he wanted them to do. Don't believe me?
People have written BOOKS about his "powers of eye contact". One legend says that his powers of maintaining eye contact were so potent, and so necessary that he had drinking glasses with reflective bottoms brought to the white house so that even when he was looking into his drinking glass he'd still be looking into your eyes.
The kind of compulsion the bard is a master of is that sort of thing. That "I own this room and everybody in it" quality.
Just exchange the word "Bard" with "Politician" and you pretty much know everything you need to know about the essence of the bard.
The Cleric, is, of course, Tricky. Posting a picture of the Pope isn't simple enough. Nor pictures of mormon missionaries. Though they are religious figures in their own right, neither captures what essence of what makes a Cleric a Cleric.
This guy does though:
Meet a Cleric of the Gods of War. He doesn't simply make war, he espouses its virtues. Seriously, read up on this guys philosophy sometime. He not only found war beautiful, he believed in reincarnation BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KEEP COMING BACK AND KILLING PEOPLE IN EVERY ERA.
If he's a Cleric of War, meet a Cleric of Healing...
Sara Josephine Baker went into the sick places of the world and healed the children of New York City. She captured Typhoid Mary. Twice. She prevented blindness, and malnourishment on a massive scale. Diseases that once ran rampant through city schools were struck down. If you've ever heard of a "school nurse" thank Sara Josephine Baker. Ever eaten a free lunch at school? Thank Sara Josephine Baker.
Again, she wasn't simply a Doctor... her entire life was devoted to healing and she was spectacularly good at it. She was the very essence of what she espoused to believe in.
We all know whose picture is going up here for Monk. Yeah, I'm rolling with it... because let's face it in the public consciousness no one else comes close.
Tell me he doesn't look like he could snap your face in twain with one hand. Go ahead, lie if you want but we both know it.
And here's the thing a lot of people don't know about Bruce Lee. He was the real deal. He wasn't just a BAMF. Oh no, he lived the life too. Even "words to live by" are frighteningly "monkish".
The Monk is a culmination of discipline and adherence to a philosophy made physical. It is true belief in the concept that "My Body is a Temple" and when they're talking about "Flurry of Blows" they're talking about this guy.
Watch him [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKU-XoTPJmQ&feature=related"]kick[/ame], seriously, just his kick. It's said he has the world's fastest, and his punches were just as lightning fast.
When you play a Monk you are playing someone with the skill of Bruce Lee. *YOU* are your world's Bruce Lee.
Meet Teddy Roosevelt...
Or, perhaps more appropriately... Teddy Roosevelt...
That's right, we've had a Ranger... a bonafide Ranger.. Not like the Michael Jordan example where he exemplifies a Fighter, or the Norman Borlaug example where we can imagine he was a Wizard.
No, Teddy Roosevelt WAS AN ACTUAL RANGER in every meaningful definition of the word.
Love of nature? Check.
Ridiculously resourceful? Check.
Tough as nails? Check.
HE EVEN HAD ANIMAL COMPANIONS!
There's nothing more I can add to the definition of Ranger than "Just... just read up on Teddy Roosevelt and you'll get it... you'll completely get it".
The Druid can be summed up wholly by a single quote by one philosopher....
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. ”
— Henry David Thoreau, Walden, "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"
If you can grasp that, truly wrap your head around it... then you'll know what the Druid is and there's nothing more I can speak on the subject. The druid loves all, and feels at one with, all that is life, and the druid is loved in return. The druid acts as the consciousness of the natural world and seeks to blur the distinction between the two completely.
And finally... rogues. Perhaps the most difficult because there are so many... but one that I've found rather fascinating, though I've never purchased any of his products is this man:
And that's because of a single specific story that tied every roguelike characteristic of his together in the way that afghan really holds your room together.
It's the story of how Steve Jobs hadn't had a license plate in years... and the peculiarity of how he got away with it.
The reasons Steve Jobs could be considered a rogue are many... but if you want to really get to the heart of what the rogue is it's found in this story...
The story of how one of the wealthiest men in America drove to work everyday and never bothered to put a license plate on any of his cars. It's a lovely thing.
Brilliant, deft, clever, charismatic. He's a wizard without magic, only intuition and raw skill. Survivor, thinker, explorer. Dreamer.
For example, when many people think Fighter, what they think is this guy:
When REALLY... they should be thinking about THIS guy...
A fighter isn't just a guy who swings a sword... he's a man with a preternatural gift for murdering people with just about anything he can get his hands on. He isn't simply "talented", he's more than just "gifted", he is the God of Steel and Punishment made carnate. Waves upon waves of foes will crash upon his mortal shore. Poets write in ink what he writes in blood, and his pen is all the more deft and precise.
That's what a fighter is.
But if that's a fighter, what makes a sorcerer? That's easy and can be summed up similarly.
Meet perhaps the only human being that could qualify as a sorcerer on our particular plane of existence:
If you can't see it, I can't help you. The woman oozes charisma and beauty. And not even just like "i wanna freak dat, yo", but "I wish to serve you because uh, wait, what? Sure, here's my paycheck and my savings, and my car keys. Burn down my house? One moment please."
That raw oozing almost freakishly too perfect beauty... that's what a sorcerer is. For a woman that looked like that... looked that good... would it surprise you... REALLY SURPRISE YOU... if she had magical powers?
If Katharine McPhee busted out with "rope trick" I'm not entirely convinced anyone in the room would be especially shocked. "Oh, well, yeah, that makes perfect sense".
If Katharine McPhee is a sorcerer then this guy is definitely a wizard:
and this guy is an high level wizard:
And if that guy is a high level wizard, this guy is an EPIC level wizard:
Hell, he even has a spellbook out.
Wizards are beings who, through intellect, alter the very fabric of our lives if not reality. If you live in relative peace and harmony right now it's thanks to contestant number 3 in the grouping above because if he hadn't come around our world would be very much different and probably not quite as... populated.
Wizards, through experiment, understanding, and research bend consciousness and knowledge to suit their goals. I don't really need to talk too much about Wizards because most people have a pretty good idea of what they are...
but I do need to talk about Paladins because peoples concept of Paladin seems wildly off.
This guy is a Paladin...
His name is Rolad Deschain, and if you haven't read the books that contain his story you haven't lived. though he's an imperfect (both as a paragon of good and other ways) example, real life good guys usually end up corpses and there haven't been a lot of epic quests in recent years that also involved murdering people.
I can think of no class that comes with the inherent awesome that the Paladin does because no class comes with the internal turmoil that the Paladin does. Think about it, your job is to murder people left and right and yet still uphold the truth of goodness, light, and law. Forever drawn to darkness yet eternally vigilant against it. Knowing that you are damned should you ever turn your path from the light but always dimly aware that the question "What is the greater good?" will always haunt you.
How anyone can play the game of dungeons and dragons and not bust out the butcher knives over who gets to play the Paladin is beyond me. No one at the table has a better chance for plot hooks and drama than this guy. No one reeks of epic like this guy.
Which brings us to Barbarians, of course. If Fighters are the guys with preternatural gifts at murdering then Barbarians are nature's answer.
People usually think about a guy like this when they think Barbarian...
When really, they should be thinking about this guy:
Michael Phelps is *built* for what he does. Swimming doesn't require a great deal of "talent" per se, which isn't to detract from what they do. Instead swimming in this instance is based almost exclusively on physical gifts that few mortals possess. Seriously, simply *being* Michael Phelps is Michael Phelps' advantage in the pool. Don't believe me?
This is an entire article on why Michael Phelps s, and I'm not making this up...Transhuman... and he describes in detail all of the unique physical advantages Michael Phelps has when he does what he does.
That's what a Barbarian is. They are a member of a select group of people that are evolutionarily adapted to be more physically powerful, dexterous, and hardy than their so-called civilized "superiors". They don't *need* the fighters training, or the Paladins good fortune, all they need is an ax and there you go.
The Bard can be summed up, really, with one picture:
I'm not even talking about his capacity in a particular political party. I'm talking strictly as a politician he was amazing at what he did. Agree or disagree everyone but EVERYONE knew he was the guy running the show and knew he was damn good at being a politician who knew how to command others, and get them to do what he wanted them to do. Don't believe me?
People have written BOOKS about his "powers of eye contact". One legend says that his powers of maintaining eye contact were so potent, and so necessary that he had drinking glasses with reflective bottoms brought to the white house so that even when he was looking into his drinking glass he'd still be looking into your eyes.
The kind of compulsion the bard is a master of is that sort of thing. That "I own this room and everybody in it" quality.
Just exchange the word "Bard" with "Politician" and you pretty much know everything you need to know about the essence of the bard.
The Cleric, is, of course, Tricky. Posting a picture of the Pope isn't simple enough. Nor pictures of mormon missionaries. Though they are religious figures in their own right, neither captures what essence of what makes a Cleric a Cleric.
This guy does though:
Meet a Cleric of the Gods of War. He doesn't simply make war, he espouses its virtues. Seriously, read up on this guys philosophy sometime. He not only found war beautiful, he believed in reincarnation BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KEEP COMING BACK AND KILLING PEOPLE IN EVERY ERA.
If he's a Cleric of War, meet a Cleric of Healing...
Sara Josephine Baker went into the sick places of the world and healed the children of New York City. She captured Typhoid Mary. Twice. She prevented blindness, and malnourishment on a massive scale. Diseases that once ran rampant through city schools were struck down. If you've ever heard of a "school nurse" thank Sara Josephine Baker. Ever eaten a free lunch at school? Thank Sara Josephine Baker.
Again, she wasn't simply a Doctor... her entire life was devoted to healing and she was spectacularly good at it. She was the very essence of what she espoused to believe in.
We all know whose picture is going up here for Monk. Yeah, I'm rolling with it... because let's face it in the public consciousness no one else comes close.
Tell me he doesn't look like he could snap your face in twain with one hand. Go ahead, lie if you want but we both know it.
And here's the thing a lot of people don't know about Bruce Lee. He was the real deal. He wasn't just a BAMF. Oh no, he lived the life too. Even "words to live by" are frighteningly "monkish".
The Monk is a culmination of discipline and adherence to a philosophy made physical. It is true belief in the concept that "My Body is a Temple" and when they're talking about "Flurry of Blows" they're talking about this guy.
Watch him [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKU-XoTPJmQ&feature=related"]kick[/ame], seriously, just his kick. It's said he has the world's fastest, and his punches were just as lightning fast.
When you play a Monk you are playing someone with the skill of Bruce Lee. *YOU* are your world's Bruce Lee.
Meet Teddy Roosevelt...
Or, perhaps more appropriately... Teddy Roosevelt...
That's right, we've had a Ranger... a bonafide Ranger.. Not like the Michael Jordan example where he exemplifies a Fighter, or the Norman Borlaug example where we can imagine he was a Wizard.
No, Teddy Roosevelt WAS AN ACTUAL RANGER in every meaningful definition of the word.
Love of nature? Check.
Ridiculously resourceful? Check.
Tough as nails? Check.
HE EVEN HAD ANIMAL COMPANIONS!
There's nothing more I can add to the definition of Ranger than "Just... just read up on Teddy Roosevelt and you'll get it... you'll completely get it".
The Druid can be summed up wholly by a single quote by one philosopher....
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. ”
— Henry David Thoreau, Walden, "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"
If you can grasp that, truly wrap your head around it... then you'll know what the Druid is and there's nothing more I can speak on the subject. The druid loves all, and feels at one with, all that is life, and the druid is loved in return. The druid acts as the consciousness of the natural world and seeks to blur the distinction between the two completely.
And finally... rogues. Perhaps the most difficult because there are so many... but one that I've found rather fascinating, though I've never purchased any of his products is this man:
And that's because of a single specific story that tied every roguelike characteristic of his together in the way that afghan really holds your room together.
It's the story of how Steve Jobs hadn't had a license plate in years... and the peculiarity of how he got away with it.
The reasons Steve Jobs could be considered a rogue are many... but if you want to really get to the heart of what the rogue is it's found in this story...
The story of how one of the wealthiest men in America drove to work everyday and never bothered to put a license plate on any of his cars. It's a lovely thing.
Brilliant, deft, clever, charismatic. He's a wizard without magic, only intuition and raw skill. Survivor, thinker, explorer. Dreamer.
