It's a fair discussion. For a people who are supposed to be chaotic good and be all about personal freedoms, elves tend to be portrayed as rules and tradition junkies. Of course, even in real life people tend to often be bad at the things they pride themselves in being good at: Samurai were often dishonorable, Christians can be very judgemental, Americans are not very free, and Vulcans are usually pissy. (I hope that didn't offend).
Darfin, on the other hand, is a good example of his people. Within reason, you are free to do what you like. He has no metaphorical toes to step on. In addition, he was an adventurer himself, and he's living his youth vicariously here. I completely understand that Escella would constantly curtsey and defer to him, but he will also constantly shake his head, wave a hand, give his permission, and express his desire that they carry on as if he were just one of the group.