[OT] Hey there, Dr. Midnight, what's going on with your love life right now?

[Dr Midnight]

Alison, not Mary...

She's proposing that her sister come along with us on Thursday, which I'm now feverishly trying to back out of. eeeyikes.

 

[Dire_Groundhog]

Lizard people...

she smells like a pile of leaves in the autumn sun

That smells like trouble, in the form of a lizard cleverly disguised as a human.

Be careful. Especially with her sister around. They may look small and frail, but their little lizard arms are wirey and strong!

Otherwise, good luck! The whole sister thing seems... interesting.

 

[Talon]

Don't be so hasty Doc. This could be a test. How old is the sister?
If she's a lot younger, then she maybe a big part of Alison's life, and if you can't handle her sister being around then, she may feel that you are not the guy for her. Besides, if the sister likes you, you score bonus points.


If the sister is near to the same age or even a little older, then if it doesn't work out with Alison, go for the sis. =]

Chris

 

[Pielorinho]

She's proposing

Given that it's a first date, that was a scary line to read!

As for her sister coming along, I can imagine a couple of possibilities:

THE BAD:
She's regretting a second date, and so she's diluting the datitude of it by bringing her sister along.

THE GOOD:
Given her crappy dating choices in the past, she's given her sister veto power over her future lovers. You're good enough that she's subjecting you to the Sister Test.

I'm inclined to think it's the latter: if I was trying to dilute datosity, I'd invite along several of my friends, in order to make it a "friends' night out."

Maybe you could make a graceful compromise. Assuming dinner-and-a-movie, perhaps you could meet the sister for the movie and have dinner alone? That way, you'd get in some date time while still letting the Sister Test occur.

Of course, I had pretty bad experiences with personals when I tried them out, so maybe I shouldn't be giving advice.

Daniel

 

[Dr Midnight]

Oh, I'm CERTAIN it's a test. I've got two good reasons for avoiding this particular bear trap.

1. She (the sister) is there to evaluate me. She'll be judging me, Olympic-style, on charm, looks, wits, and dismounts. As soon as they're safely out of earshot, I'll be the topic of speculative discussion. I know how things work. I'd rather not put myself under the third-party microscope quite so soon.

2. Two girls, be they sisters or friends, plus one male date equals bored date. They'll have tons of things to talk about, and I'll be sitting there playing with my napkin. I've been ignored by girls in pairs before.

So, I'm trying to cautiously reschedule.

 

[Quickbeam]

OK Doc, your pal Quickbeam needs some help here:

1) Why is she attempting to bring her sister along?
2) What, in particular, about having her sister tag along bothers you?
3) What were/are your plans for the date on Thursday?

Now on to the comments:
1) Great news, I hope everything continues to progress in a manner that exceeds your expectations!!
2) Alison sounds like a lovely lady.
3) Autumn leaves do smell nice...until they get moldy, that is !!
4) Confidence and a "don't give a darn, like me or leave me" attitude work wonders when dating. I'm not saying that you should behave in a boorish manner and hope the world accepts it. But I am saying that projecting self-confidence helps attract positive responses in social situations. Nobody wants to be with a person that doesn't feel comfortable with who they are -- that is an ironclad, irrefutable fact of life.
5) Once again congrats!! Keep us posted.

 

[Pielorinho]

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. -Oscar Wilde

Okay, he wasn't exactly a ladies' man. But he had a point: especially in romantic matters, isn't it a GOOD thing that she'd want to gossip about you? You don't gossip about people that you're not interested in.

Still, I can see how it could be boring to be the third wheel on a sistercycle.

Good luck!
Daniel

 

[Dr Midnight]

Hi, my pal Quickbeam-
1) she says her sister's up from wherever it is that she lives, and this is the only day this week that she'd be able to get together.
2) see above.
3) no plans... I was going to let her put things together. I never get more interesting than dinner and a movie.

Pielorinho, I see what you mean, but at this stage opinions are fragile. She could get her sister's opinion on my weight or whatever, and she might think "Hmm, she's right, this is kinda undesirable." I had a girlfriend who always talked about me behind my back, QUITE unfavorably, and then would let me know in an argument. It kinda soured how I deal with the sistercycle.

 

[Quickbeam]

* mutters to self...Damn overlapping posts *

Doc:
Do NOT chicken out on this test if that's what you really believe it to be!! Part of the test is to see if you're confident enough to place yourself in potentially awkward situations. If you back out, then you've already failed the test. Go on the "date" and let her sister tag along. Be charming; be polite and interested in their banter; be gracious; schedule activities that aren't geared towards a couple on a date; and be yourself.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of such silly games. But it sounds like you enjoy Alison's company, and if she's worth a second date then play along. You have nothing to lose, unless you allow yourself to be bothered by her sister's scrutiny. Be above such petty insecurities -- after all, you're a cool enough guy for Alison to test.

 

[Old Fezziwig]

Oh, I'm CERTAIN it's a test. I've got two good reasons for avoiding this particular bear trap.

1. She (the sister) is there to evaluate me. She'll be judging me, Olympic-style, on charm, looks, wits, and dismounts. As soon as they're safely out of earshot, I'll be the topic of speculative discussion. I know how things work. I'd rather not put myself under the third-party microscope quite so soon.

2. Two girls, be they sisters or friends, plus one male date equals bored date. They'll have tons of things to talk about, and I'll be sitting there playing with my napkin. I've been ignored by girls in pairs before.

So, I'm trying to cautiously reschedule.

Hey there. I'm not going to beef with the second one, except to say that maybe it won't work that way this time. As for the first, if she is interested in you and had a good time on your last date, she wants to like you, unless you do something horrid, I'd think it'd work out fine. No, it's not the ideal situation, but it does give you the opportunity to figure out some stuff — I mean, you should know pretty quickly if it's an attempt to (as Pielorinho put it) "dilute datosity." Also, there are millions of ways to avoid a date, inviting a sibling generally isn't the easiest way to do it (at least not in my experience). I guess what I'm aiming at is that there are a bunch of different reasons she might want to or need to invite her sister, and that most of them don't necessarily involve testing you or scoping you out. Definitely make sure that you're comfortable, but second-guessing her intentions might just ensure that you cannot be comfortable. Oh, almost forgot, if they're close and the sibling likes you, there are definite bonus points to be had.

Best of luck with this, and I'm sure that whatever you end up doing will work out fine.

tKL