Let's face cold, hard reality, boys and girls. THE MAGIC IS GONE. I've lost all respect for Lucas as an artist. If Georgie couldn't realize what a boring piece of trash Phantom Menace was, then he's truly on the road to senility.
As far as I'm concerned, the problems began when he rereleased the original trilogy a few years back. He irritatingly decided to rewrite history during Han Solo's encounter with the bounty hunter, Greedo (Star Wars; Episode 4). This irks me. In the original Star Wars, Greedo tries to capture Han Solo and give him to Jabba the Hut, who will doubtlessly give Greedo a handsome reward. Han decides not to be a victim. IN THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS....HAN SHOOTS GREEDO DEAD. Why leave yourself to the dubious mercy of some filthy, bloodthirsty mercenary? In the re-release, some 20 odd years later.....we are "treated" with a mamby-pamby, politically correct REWRITE of history. In this REMAKE, Greedo shoots at Han Solo first after Han utters those classic lines......
"Over my dead body."
I might have the lines wrong, but I doubt it. Greedo shoots at Han Solo........and MISSES. He misses from SIX FEET AWAY. Han doesn't even move. He just swings his pistol up and fires. BAM! No more Greedo. How could Greedo miss? Did he take a retard pill that morning? Maybe he closed his eyes, and said...
"George Lucas really hates me."
I suppose Georgie didn't want Han Solo to seem like some cold-blooded outlaw or pirate. Whatever. Han wasn't stupid. If he didn't shoot first, Greedo would've taken him to Jabba the Hutt, who I'll bet would've tortured him MERCILESSLY before finally KILLING him. When someone points a gun at you, and they have obvious malicious intent, and you have a gun of your own......YOU JUST DON'T PLAY PATTYCAKE WITH 'EM. You shoot first, then clean up the mess later. You don't do this out of maliciousness, or out of spite. You do this to survive.
In the re-release of the trilogy, Han meets up with Jabba the Hutt. This was not in the original trilogy. Jabba looks smaller, bloopier, and whimpier. He lets Han push him around a little. This Jabba is not like the Jabba we know and love. Lucas, what are you thinking?!
It is not merely the stupidity of these situations that vexes me. Georgie REWROTE HISTORY. If I rewrote everything in all the Bibles in the world, and then proceeded to burn all the old ones, wouldn't that be UNETHICAL? I'm no religious fanatic, but that would still be wrong.
If I changed the video on the Kennedy assassination, would that perhaps be a trifle...unethical?
I'm not a Star Wars fanatic like some folks out there, but even I recognize artistic integrity. If Lucas ever had it, it's vanished like a fart in the breeze.
Star Wars is not merely a "movie". It's an institution. An American icon. Hell, it's a billion dollar industry. I don't have to be a Star Wars nut to know that. Anyone from anything resembling a semi-advanced nation knows what Star Wars is. That probably means that at least a couple billion people have seen at least one of the Star Wars movies. This is out of the many billions of people who have lived from 1977 to today. Countless people, including me, grew up on Star Wars, watched the movies, played the video games, dueled with the toy light sabres, played with the action figures, and loved every minute of it. And now....the institution lives....but it's become something less. How many books or movies have referred to Star Wars in one form or another? More than you or I will ever know.
I could go into excruciating detail on why Phantom Menace was a dismal failure EVEN THOUGH IT MADE TONS OF MONEY. But if I did that, it would be like providing you with a detailed autopsy for a grisly murder. Why ruin your lunch?
