pawsplay said:
If I give the goblins and the dwarves 1 hp, strange things happen. And if I don't, then the minion rules have not assisted me in the encounter design at all. It's just a really bad design. The only advantage is that you can say, "Well, they die in one hit, so that's pretty much like having 1 hp," which is a conclusion most DMs can handle on the fly. What I want in the MM is stats for stuff I would prefer not to have to make up on the fly.
Why do they
all have to be minions or
all have to be regular soldiers? You probably already know this, but the point of 4E encounter design is to include more monsters per encounter, and make those monsters of varying types, so why shoehorn all of them into one role or the other? There are several ways to setup this encounter with minion rules that can not only add to the experience, but alter it in drastically different ways.
If the Dwarves aren't meant to be real contenders, than you can make them all minions and task the PCs with defending them from a smaller group non-minion goblins.
Or, you could choose to make a few select Goblin/Dwarf NPCs 'leaders' of their particular bands, giving them regular monster stats while the rest fall into the domain of minions. In this situation, perhaps the death of the Goblin leaders could force their sizable minion force to retreat, while if the Dwarf leaders go down, the remaining Dwarf minions break ranks, giving the Goblins an advantage.
Another 'mix' situation is to place one or two powerful Goblins among a large number of minions, but instead of leaders, they continually strike at the Dwarf/PC group's flanks before once again hiding themselves among their more mundane brethren.
With aid of the normal NPC Dwarves, perhaps you could even make the PCs go up against a massive warband of Goblins, making them all minions or giving them just one, regular enemy leader. This would have them lining up alongside the Dwarves in a formation to whether a literal flood of Goblins that throw themselves at the defenders.
And that's just four of the top of my head. I could easily write 4 more without even having to put much conscious thought to it. Minions are supposed to be the guys that aren't trained as well, and don't have that strong sense of self that their stronger brothers have. Peasants turned warriors, goblin runts, orcs that never quite recovered from some old war injury;
these are what minions are meant to represent. Going down from one hit can make a lot of sense from an rp perspective, and in terms of basic combat, I can't see how they fail to add anything to an encounter.
And please don't ignore this post; I'm not patronizing you, I'm just trying to find out if you've misunderstood something or if you have an entirely different complaint than the one I've assumed you to be making. I'm honestly asking you: given the above, what's wrong with minions?