Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[dragoner]

I don't know, so I treat each situation individually, and have to accept the expected outcome might not be there, for whatever reason. Existence is like a maze and the only order we find there is the string we lay so that we don't get lost. It is definitely something science teaches.

 

[Bedrockgames]

I saw it as some folks ascribing a perceived pattern of behavior to neurodivergence that isn't actually specific to neurodivergence. There's a lot of that in popular culture these days.

Specifically this:
"How can you still disagree with me? I explained everything so carefully. I guess I'll explain it again, do try to pay attention this time okay?"

...is a thing that non-divergent people do, too.

I think there is also a lot of regional cultural differences around how things like opinions on media are expressed and talked about. In some places it is considered polite to not disagree with another person on whether a show/game/movie/food was great or bad. In others it is expected to have more of a spirited conversation (and that can include really trying to make the case for your opinion). What is simply expected in one place can be considered rude in another

 

[Deset Gled]

I don't know, so I treat each situation individually, and have to accept the expected outcome might not be there, for whatever reason.

I would also like to offer the thought that neurodivergence may be a reason for behavior, but it generally should not be considered an excuse for behavior. And just as there are times when people have difficulty delineating between understanding and agreement, there are times in this conversation when I can't tell if it's being offered as a reason or an excuse.

 

[ART!]

I would also like to offer the thought that neurodivergence may be a reason for behavior, but it generally should not be considered an excuse for behavior.

I'm not sure I agree with this, but I don't have the headspace to articulate it right now - possibly because of ADHD!

That said, I would agree that neuronormativeness may be a reason for behavior, but it generally should not be considered an excuse.

 

[dragoner]

Reason and excuse is fairly nebulous.

 

[Scribe]

--

Easy call to make.

 

[Umbran]

I would also like to offer the thought that neurodivergence may be a reason for behavior, but it generally should not be considered an excuse for behavior.

I think this really depends upon the behavior and circumstances.

Very broadly - if you are exhibiting behavior that that is a problem to those around you, for which there are reasonable management strategies that could avoid that behavior, yes. Broadly - being neurodivergent doesn't excuse being a jerk.

But you can easily find cases where folks should be given a pass:
"Hey, dude, your lack of focus tonight at the table is a real problem..'
"Yeah, sorry, I'm trying new meds for my issues, and it takes a while to work out the right dose..."

 

[overgeeked]

Reason and excuse is fairly nebulous.

This is a thing I run into a lot. I see it mirrored quite a bit in ADHD spaces, but it's most likely a general human thing. When asked why I did something, I explain. Whether the person accepts that as reasonable or not will generally dictate whether they call that a reason or an excuse. If it's reasonable to them, it's a reason. If it's not reasonable to them, it's an excuse.

Words are weird like that. They don't tend to have fixed meanings outside of technical jargon. Take the word "jerk" as one example. What one person considers being a jerk another would consider being perfectly normal. Some people see calling someone on their BS as being a jerk, others see it as perfectly normal. It all depends on culture and context.

The internet has shined a spotlight on just how fractured and divergent cultures and contexts are. The idea of universal codes of conduct for a large and diverse gathering of people is nonsensical on its face. Something even as seemingly simple as "don't be a jerk" means wildly different things to different people, cultures, and contexts. To say nothing of adding neurodiversity into the mix.

 

[Ryujin]

This is a thing I run into a lot. I see it mirrored quite a bit in ADHD spaces, but it's most likely a general human thing. When asked why I did something, I explain. Whether the person accepts that as reasonable or not will generally dictate whether they call that a reason or an excuse. If it's reasonable to them, it's a reason. If it's not reasonable to them, it's an excuse.

Words are weird like that. They don't tend to have fixed meanings outside of technical jargon. Take the word "jerk" as one example. What one person considers being a jerk another would consider being perfectly normal. Some people see calling someone on their BS as being a jerk, others see it as perfectly normal. It all depends on culture and context.

The internet has shined a spotlight on just how fractured and divergent cultures and contexts are. The idea of universal codes of conduct for a large and diverse gathering of people is nonsensical on its face. Something even as seemingly simple as "don't be a jerk" means wildly different things to different people, cultures, and contexts. To say nothing of adding neurodiversity into the mix.

Generally I find the only people who think that calling someone on their BS is a jerk are either the one being called out, or their direct supporters. As long as it really is BS, that is.

 

[Deset Gled]

But you can easily find cases where folks should be given a pass:
"Hey, dude, your lack of focus tonight at the table is a real problem..'
"Yeah, sorry, I'm trying new meds for my issues, and it takes a while to work out the right dose..."

I would say that derermining if this is a reason or excuse depends largely on the next few lines of dialogue. If a discussion with changed behaviors (by both/either sides) happens, it's a reason with (probably temporary) accommodations. If the second statement is followed up by "... So you'll just have to deal with it," then it's an excuse.

Speaking very broadly, a reason is a starting point for a discussion. An excuse is often an attempt to end (or otherwise avoid) discussion.