Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[Deset Gled]

Sometimes, the only winning move is not to play.

Other times, the winning move is the Ignore button.

 

[trappedslider]

Remember, remember!
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!
Guy Fawkes and his companions
Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament
All up alive.
Threescore barrels, laid below,
To prove old England's overthrow.
But, by God's providence, him they catch,
With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
A stick and a stake
For King James's sake!
If you won't give me one,
I'll take two,
The better for me,
And the worse for you.
A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
A penn'orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down,
And a jolly good fire to burn him.
Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

 

[Staffan]

Remember, remember!
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!
Guy Fawkes and his companions
Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament
All up alive.
Threescore barrels, laid below,
To prove old England's overthrow.
But, by God's providence, him they catch,
With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
A stick and a stake
For King James's sake!
If you won't give me one,
I'll take two,
The better for me,
And the worse for you.
A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
A penn'orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down,
And a jolly good fire to burn him.
Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

I'm sure i've posted it before but:

Related- No one has ever seen Phil Collins, greatest artist of the 20th Century, and Douglas Adams, in the same room at the same time.

Now, am I saying that Phil Collins moonlighted and wrote novels and Doctor Who screenplays under a pen name? No. But I am also not not saying that Phil Collins, like Ted Williams, was the greatest ever at three different things*-
1. Makin' Music.
2. Writin' Stuff.
3. Killin' a Person.



*Ted Williams, famously, was the greatest at hitting a ball, flying planes, and fly fishing.

 

[Scribe]

--

I mean when you shift the goal posts its pretty easy to claim that nobody is answering you.

 

[payn]

 

[ART!]

Related- No one has ever seen Phil Collins, greatest artist of the 20th Century, and Douglas Adams, in the same room at the same time.

Now, am I saying that Phil Collins moonlighted and wrote novels and Doctor Who screenplays under a pen name? No. But I am also not not saying that Phil Collins, like Ted Williams, was the greatest ever at three different things*-
1. Makin' Music.
2. Writin' Stuff.
3. Killin' a Person.



*Ted Williams, famously, was the greatest at hitting a ball, flying planes, and fly fishing.

If Douglas Adams gave us gated reverb*, the universe is indeed a very odd place. Knowing that the universe is indeed a very odd place, I am content with this newly-discovered fact.

* the distinctive sound of drums in '80s popular music, natch.

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

If Douglas Adams gave us the '80s drums sound, the universe is indeed a very odd place. Knowing that the universe is indeed a very odd place, I am content with this newly-discovered fact.

The question then becomes, Did Douglas Adams give us the '80s drum sound, or did Phil Collins give us the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?

While that question is unanswerable, we all know that the Greatest of All Artists killed a guy and to watch him die.* which provided the inspiration for both In The Air Tonight and Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.


*Is the next Snarfticle about the unexamined connection between Johnny Cash and Phil Collins? Wait and see!

 

[Mad_Jack]

I really like email signatures, particularly when an individual decides to spice theirs up and go against the professional grain.

I find a lot of email sigs are the sort of things where folks are trying too hard to have something funny or meaningful in them because whatever they have there simply doesn't match who they really are, rather who they want others to think they are...
On the other hand, every so often you get somebody who has just a simple quote or a little picture or something that's simple, yet elegant, or truly funny, or deliciously ironic, and totally rings true. Those are the sigs that I like and appreciate.



In other news, pasted from the Reaper forum because I don't have the time, and can't be arsed, to retype it in different words...


Nobody brings the workplace drama quite like Idiot Coworker Jim...

So, there's a slight ramp up from the parking lot to the door we enter, right? Unlike everyone else, who walks up that small incline, Jimbo parks right next to the side of the ramp and walks up the steep side instead of taking a few more steps to go the normal way. Several weeks ago, he felt something in his knee go pop while doing it. We told him to stop doing that.
Several days later, while still being an idiot and walking up the steep side, his knee gets messed up again - he has a torn meniscus. Cue almost two weeks of hobbling into work with a knee brace because he keeps going to walk-in clinics instead of the actual hospital. Finally gets an MRI, resulting in him getting crutches and using a walker (which belonged to our former supervisor) when in the clean room where we work... He's also relegated to sitting in the Packaging room rather than standing on the line.
Soo... We get out of work on Saturday morning, and, being the last one out of the door, I see Jimbo's crutches leaning against the wall. I go outside and the <expletive> is kneeling down on the ground without his knee brace, apparently looking around for something. I ask him what he's looking for, and both sentences I say get a reply of, "What?" "What?"...
Having just put up with eight hours of Jim being his usual idiot self, I have little tolerance for the dumb things he does and walk over to my car to put my stuff away.
Jimbo has started wandering around the perimeter of the parking lot like he's looking for and animal or something in the woods. It sounds like Jim is talking to someone on the phone, but his phone isn't out.
I realize I forgot my hat inside the building, and when I return, Jim is knelt down looking under my car...
I don't bother to speak to him, and take off.
I realized he was acting a bit off, but Jim is subject to migraines, and sometimes when his head is acting up he does weird stuff. Sometimes he just does weird stuff because he's an idiot.
And although it occurred to me that there was definitely something wrong with Jim (even for Jim...), and I probably should have intervened, I'm legitimately borderline anti-social and after being pissed at him for his idiocy all day I literally just couldn't manage to scrape together enough empathy to care.

Fast forward to last night, when I come into work to find out that HR called my other coworker on Sunday to ask about Idiot Coworker Jim falling in the parking lot after work on Saturday and hitting his head...

Apparently, at some point after I left, Jim fell and hit his head on the ground near the door.
When he didn't come home from work after a few hours, his wife got worried and either his family or the police found him wandering down the road with no shoes or socks on and all covered in blood. Oy.

According to my coworker, Jim had mentioned to him earlier that day that he'd taken a great deal more than the prescribed amount of whatever painkillers he was taking for his knee - and as far as we knew, he hadn't been prescribed any painkillers...
As near as we can figure, putting our heads together, idiot Coworker Jim was probably taking something that was "Take two in the morning" to manage the pain, but (which would be totally in character for a guy that doesn't ever think things through) probably decided that since his knee was still hurting he'd take two more, and sometime later when he decided that they weren't working, took two more again. And again. He said he was supposed to take two but had taken eight.

So, at the moment we have no word about Jim's condition other than he's not dead and probably not seriously wounded...
I was looking for our HR lady to report what I knew about the situation, but she didn't show up today (her office is in the other building down the road).
On an intellectual level, I know I should probably feel bad about not sticking around to see if Jim was okay, but pretty much everything that led up to this was essentially a product of Jim's own stupidity, so I'm mostly just annoyed by the whole thing.

So... yeah... drama. Oy.

 

[Ryujin]

I find a lot of email sigs are the sort of things where folks are trying too hard to have something funny or meaningful in them because whatever they have there simply doesn't match who they really are, rather who they want others to think they are...
On the other hand, every so often you get somebody who has just a simple quote or a little picture or something that's simple, yet elegant, or truly funny, or deliciously ironic, and totally rings true. Those are the sigs that I like and appreciate.

Unfortunately, I work in a place where people have sigs that are more frequently longer than the actual email text is. It's really annoying, especially when they submit a work order via email, rather than via the online portal. Then they respond to every message in that work order with the quoted previous text, including their sig. No pruning. It makes it almost impossible to review the actual request, after a prolonged conversation with the help desk, especially as our help desk doesn't feel the need to edit the actual request text for what the client REALLY needs.