Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

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Yes, but no.

I’m thinking like a sandwich board message.

"Is your cleric running out of healing spells?, No problem...we can come and heal..for a price!"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

“Ask about our specials!”

 

[Aeson]

"Look for us on Groupon."

Uber Heals?

 

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"Hastur? Hastur? Is there a Hastur in the house...? Oh, bugger!"

 

[RealAlHazred]

"Is your cleric running out of healing spells?, No problem...we can come and heal..for a price!"

I mean, this is basically House Jorasco in Eberron. Mercenary little halflings...

I just imagined someone playing a “healbot” PC like Dr. House…

“I require aid! Use your divine gifts to mend this sword-slash to my forearm!”

“Mmmmmm…nah. Too boring. Use a tourniquet. Anyone have something more interesting?”

“Ah. Ah. Ch’harr still suffers from the acid that giant beetle squirted on him.”

“He’s the one who ATE the poultice I said to apply directly to afflicted area.”

“But it smelled so GOOD!”

“I’m not wasting a spell because of YOUR mistake. You’ll have to wait until we find more glaiveroot daisies. NEXT!”

“But…”

“I said NEXT!”

“Uhhhh…Percival has a glowing growth on his temple and he’s begun speaking in unearthly languages?”

“THAT’S more like it! Let me see …”

It's always lycanthropy.